Psychology The Narcissist vs. Your Self-Esteem

I never thought about narcissistic behavior in that way. There are two people where I work that everyone thinks are narcissistic. These traits describe them to a T.

Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
Exaggerating your achievements and talents
Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
Believing that you are superior and can only be understood by or associate with equally special people
Requiring constant admiration
Having a sense of entitlement
Expecting special favors and unquestioning compliance with your expectations
Taking advantage of others to get what you want
Having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
Being envious of others and believing others envy you
Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner

:hug: Madam S


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I never thought about narcissistic behavior in that way. There are two people where I work that everyone thinks are narcissistic. These traits describe them to a T.

Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
Exaggerating your achievements and talents
Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
Believing that you are superior and can only be understood by or associate with equally special people
Requiring constant admiration
Having a sense of entitlement
Expecting special favors and unquestioning compliance with your expectations
Taking advantage of others to get what you want
Having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
Being envious of others and believing others envy you
Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner

:hug: Madam S


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Understand that only YOU are aware of what's happening. No matter how hard you try, there's no breaking through. Just accept & move on to your better self. I saw this thing, here, found it again for pic posting... sums it up nicely....

56a1c55ac114b14abd24d352e573821a.jpg

And we here on VV don't even wanna TOUCH that Jell-O... or injure an innocent tree with nails & disgusting Jell-O, so.... :p
 
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:hug:

If someone is diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder they can be treated, but I've read that the problem is that most people with it don't realise that they have it.

Narcissistic personality disorder

A person with narcissistic personality disorder swings between seeing themselves as special and fearing they are worthless. They may act as if they have an inflated sense of their own importance and show an intense need for other people to look up to them.


Other symptoms include:


  • exaggerating their own achievements and abilities
  • thinking they are entitled to be treated better than other people
  • exploiting other people for their own personal gain
  • lacking empathy for other people's weaknesses
  • looking down on people they feel are "beneath" them, while feeling deeply envious of people they see as being "above" them
 
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The Authoritative Book on Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

I bought this book because I suspected that I was raised by a narcissistic mother.

I was.

I'm still trying to work out my issues stemming from that kind of upbringing.

It's not easy, but I'm trying.

I also gave my sister a copy of the book, but I don't think she's read it yet.
 
:hug:

If someone is diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder they can be treated, but I've read that the problem is that most people with it don't realise that they have it.

Narcissistic personality disorder

A person with narcissistic personality disorder swings between seeing themselves as special and fearing they are worthless. They may act as if they have an inflated sense of their own importance and show an intense need for other people to look up to them.


Other symptoms include:


  • exaggerating their own achievements and abilities
  • thinking they are entitled to be treated better than other people
  • exploiting other people for their own personal gain
  • lacking empathy for other people's weaknesses
  • looking down on people they feel are "beneath" them, while feeling deeply envious of people they see as being "above" them
I was wondering about that. How do you treat someone if they think that they are perfect and that nothing is wrong with them?


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I was wondering about that. How do you treat someone if they think that they are perfect and that nothing is wrong with them?


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I think that is one of the main problems with NPD. I suppose that a family member or partner would try to make them go for therapy, because a personality disorder can affect your life and the life of the people around you. I think some people must come to the conclusion on their own if they have very bad family and work relationships, although people with NPD might blame everyone apart from themselves. Psychological or cognitive behavioural therapy is usually the treatment for personality disorders, but I don't know how effective it is with NPD.

Not everyone has a personality disorder obviously, people can just be narcissists or have a lot of those type of traits.
 
When narcissism becomes pathological — FT.com

As Sam Vaknin, author of Malignant Self-Love, a bestselling study of narcissism, says: “Narcissists gravitate towards professions where they can control people and elicit adulation. They are more likely to work in politics, finance or medicine than in shoemaking.”
 
OMG...finance. My boss.


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OMG...finance. My boss.


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Yep, when I started reading about NPD I thought about my father at first, and then managers and chief executives at companies I have worked for.

Eta - I meant to say that there is a book called Toxic Parents that is supposed to be very helpful if people on here are suffering with issues related to their childhood.

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward — Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists
 
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I was raised by a narcissistic mother.

This book is helpful: Will I ever be good enough: Healing for daughters of narcissistic mothers.

It made me feel validated to know that what I dealt with growing up wasn't normal and that I wasn't the only one to go through that sort of thing. If it weren't for my father, there is no way that I could have survived my childhood.

I spent several years grieving for the childhood I never had, the mother I wanted and never had, the person I might have become if only I'd had a proper female role model. I had a lot of anger to process. The worst of the anger is gone, now.

For anyone wanting to talk about narcissistic mothers, feel free to reply here or send me a PM.
 
Ahh, gaslighting. Like when you stand up for yourself against an attack, and you are treated as if you are the one attacking them. Even though all you are doing is defending yourself. I quickly learned that standing up for myself is wrong. I'm supposed to take whatever people give me.
 
Yeppers! So many times I could have had indisputable proof... documents, recordings, video... or whatever, to prove I was 100% right.... only to be met by a temper tantrum.... which, of course, is supposed to lead ME into a fit of my own....
Ohhhh, yeahhh.... :bang:
 
Yeppers! So many times I could have had indisputable proof... documents, recordings, video... or whatever, to prove I was 100% right.... only to be met by a temper tantrum.... which, of course, is supposed to lead ME into a fit of my own....
Ohhhh, yeahhh.... :bang:
Yeah... as soon as you lose your temper, you lose. I used to work with a few people who would provoke and provoke until they got a response. Then they would run around complaining about how they had been victimized. Of course, they neglected to mention that they repeatedly provoked the person in the first place.
 
I was wondering about that. How do you treat someone if they think that they are perfect and that nothing is wrong with them?


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All my self-help books say that if a narcissist goes into treatment, it is for the purpose of fixing a problem they are having with someone else. In other words, they think the issue is the other person but really it is themselves. Whether therapy can help them or not depends on how severe their narcissism is. Someone on the lower end of the scale would be more likely to gain some self-awareness and make some changes.
 
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:hugs: to all.xxx It seems like quite a few of us have had similar experiences.

On a positive note, I think having the experiences I have had has made me more sensitive and made me have more empathy for people/ animals that are being mistreated. I imagine it is the same for people on here given that they are veg/vegan.
 
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