Do you believe in spanking as a form of discipline?

[Veggiemama]

What are your thoughts on spanking?

 

[Veggiemama]

Personally, I choose NOT to use spanking as a way to discipline my child. I believe in using other ways to teach my child right from wrong. That being said, I do understand that not every child responds to the same discipline. I think a lot of parents nowadays either spank because that's how they were disciplined and they believe they turned out fine or because they just don't want to take the time to try other methods. I think a lot of people feel as though you may get immediate results from spanking while other methods take time and consistency. To me, the most important thing in our household is non violence and I think it's hard to teach a child non violence when you use violence as a form of discipline. Peace & Love!!

 

[kibbleforlola]

I really don't think there is ever any excuse to hit a child, ever. However, even though I feel really strongly on this, I am not a parent, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

 

[beancounter]

Just teaches kids violence, and fosters resentment.

Only used it briefly when my son was too young to fully understand the significants of a time out.

 

[Penny79]

nope.

 

[Envy]

Nah.

 

[RascalsMom]

I don't have human children, but no, I don't believe in spanking.

 

[Renee1]

Never.

 

[Forster]

I think it can be a useful tool in the parenting discipline arsenal when used sparingly and when immediate intervention to curb dangerous behavior warrants it. IMO it should never be used to cause physical pain as that is not necessary to show displeasure. Also the older a child gets the less effective it becomes and IMO can also have negative consequences that outweigh the positive... by then the kiddies are old enough to understand a good talking to.

It's been a while but I'm pretty sure I never spanked my kids past the age of 4 or so and I can count on both hands the number of times I actually felt it necessary to swat them. Also if one is going to use spanking, never do it when you've lost control of yourself or are angry or the wrong message will be sent.

Is it necessary, probably not, can it achieve the desired result, I think so.

 

[Limes]

I've only spanked my son once, and I regretted it. I don't even think it bothered him anyway, so it wasn't effective. Time outs work waaay better. He will get the occasional flick on the wrist though, but usually only if he's doing something dangerous. (Reaching for the elements on the stove is something he likes to do, and he gets his hand swatted away. Swat > burn.)

 

[Moll Flanders]

I don't have human children, but no, I don't believe in spanking.

+1.

 

[yakherder]

I don't. It's just not effective, at least not in the long run. And even if it fixed the problem on the surface, it teaches the solving of problems through force, a lesson which I personally picked up on pretty quick as a kid.

I mean I don't consider my parents to have been abusive necessarily, but my step father had this thing he'd do where he would have me go out and pick a branch to be used for a spanking, with the understanding that if I picked one that was too small he'd pick one instead himself. At first it was effective because of the psychological punishment of trying to find a stick that was light enough that it wouldn't hurt too much, but big enough that he wouldn't just choose a bigger one. Eventually, though, I not only became indifferent to the punishment, but learned to use sort of a reverse psychology. I'd find the biggest, nastiest thorn bush I could find rather than looking for something small, which made him mad cause then he'd have to go out and find something smaller lol. Realizing that I no longer feared the punishment, it quickly lost it's appeal.

If only he'd simply used rationalism and logic to explain why what I was doing wrong was wrong, it might have saved us both a lot of frustration and bitterness.

But yeah, I'm never gonna hit my kid.

 

[yakherder]

If spanking is used though, it should always be as a legitimate and predictable consequence, never in anger.

 

[Forster]

I don't. It's just not effective, at least not in the long run. And even if it fixed the problem on the surface, it teaches the solving of problems through force, a lesson which I personally picked up on pretty quick as a kid.

I mean I don't consider my parents to have been abusive necessarily, but my step father had this thing he'd do where he would have me go out and pick a branch to be used for a spanking, with the understanding that if I picked one that was too small he'd pick one instead himself. At first it was effective because of the psychological punishment of trying to find a stick that was light enough that it wouldn't hurt too much, but big enough that he wouldn't just choose a bigger one. Eventually, though, I not only became indifferent to the punishment, but learned to use sort of a reverse psychology. I'd find the biggest, nastiest thorn bush I could find rather than looking for something small, which made him mad cause then he'd have to go out and find something smaller lol. Realizing that I no longer feared the punishment, it quickly lost it's appeal.

If only he'd simply used rationalism and logic to explain why what I was doing wrong was wrong, it might have saved us both a lot of frustration and bitterness.

But yeah, I'm never gonna hit my kid.

I think if a kid is old enough to go pick out his switch he's too old to be spanked and have it do any good.

 

[Forster]

If spanking is used though, it should always be as a legitimate and predictable consequence, never in anger.

I agree with the anger part, disagree on the predictable part. To me it's more effective if it comes as a complete surprise. The shock value will curb the behavior. Again has to be used sparingly less the shock value wears off and it becomes routine.

 

[yakherder]

I agree with the anger part, disagree on the predictable part. To me it's more effective if it comes as a complete surprise. The shock value will curb the behavior. Again has to be used sparingly less the shock value wears off and it becomes routine.

Makes sense. Like if they try to do something you can't afford to let them learn not to do from their mistakes if the consequences of those mistakes are considerably worse than a little slap on the butt.

 

[Fyvel]

Trying to justify hitting your kid is like trying to justify hitting your wife. If you hit any other human being it would be assault/abuse.

 

[Spang]

I don't believe in spanking children, but I do like this somewhat related image:

 

[Forster]

Trying to justify hitting your kid is like trying to justify hitting your wife. If you hit any other human being it would be assault/abuse.

Meh, not really a good analogy. My wife's not two nor going to run into a busy street or run away in a busy store. Though I do bet she would respond to a good non-verbal communication (I know I do) which is what a swift swat on a two year old's hind end conveys. Spankings used properly aren't about inducing physical pain to correct behavior, it's about showing extreme parental displeasure in order to curb dangerous behavior. Seldom needed but I won't flat out say it's never needed. As a parent I would never limit myself from doing something if I thought it was effective and the benefits outweighed the costs.

My kids know I swatted them a few times when they were young only because I told them I had, they don't remember ever being spanked.

 

[Moll Flanders]

Meh, not really a good analogy. My wife's not two nor going to run into a busy street or run away in a busy store.

I think Fyvel's analogy is a good one. You wouldn't use those type of tactics on a mentally challenged adult or with a older person with dementia I hope?