Romance Scams

[shyvas]

The woman on the phone thinks she has a fiancé in the US. But the romantic emails she's been receiving are
really coming from a small town in Nigeria.
Laura Lyons has to break the bad news.
She's a private investigator who specialises in tracking down online romance fraudsters, otherwise known as "catfish".
"When you have to go back to individuals and explain to them that this person doesn't exist, they're not real, that is really hard to do," she says.
The catfish are often based in Africa and work from pre-written romantic scripts in internet cafes.

Their stories are designed to tug at the heart strings and to empty bank accounts.

How I set out to catch a romance scammer

A friend of mine was just discussing this with me, the other day.

One of her own friends who got caught up in one of these scams is now virtually penniless after having given her life savings to a scammer who told her that he loved her !
She is now suffering with depression and feeling lonely and poor. The sad thing is that she is a highly educated and an intelligent person.

 

[Andy_T]

Yes, when I was living in Malaysia, one of our acquaintances was a German police officer who was sent there on behalf of the German foreign department to act as a contact person for European Union immigration (coordinating with local authorities, checking suspicious travel documents and similar) and he told us not a week passes without one or two calls from German men calling him to help locate a local woman they had been supporting by giving money for surgery, emigration or similar ... all scams. Obviously easy to prey on romantically desperate people.

 

[Moll Flanders]

A friend of mine was just discussing this with me, the other day.

One of her own friends who got caught up in one of these scams is now virtually penniless after having given her life savings to a scammer who told her that he loved her !

It happened to a friend I used to know. She twigged that it was a scam before she sent them any money, luckily!

 

[Andy_T]

I guess for everybody who falls for it, there are likely 10 who dodged that bullet...

 

[Chryssie]

I know that Dr. Phil is a TV personality and scorned by a lot of people, but he has done some really interesting shows on this issue. He has a crew that tracks down these scammers and confronts them. The poor women who are scammed! It is really sad! Sometimes they are in such denial, they won't accept the evidence.

 

[shyvas]

I know that Dr. Phil is a TV personality and scorned by a lot of people, but he has done some really interesting shows on this issue. He has a crew that tracks down these scammers and confronts them. The poor women who are scammed! It is really sad! Sometimes they are in such denial, they won't accept the evidence.

Dr Phil is a bit harsh but he does (most of the time) know what he's talking about.

I have seen quite a few of these romance scam stories on UK TV. What is strange and stands out, is that the so called
romeos (scammers) don't even put much effort into conning these ladies. It's so sad that some people are so desperate that they would pay to be loved.

If you are starting a relationship and the other person starts to talk about money, run a mile.

 

[Chryssie]

Dr Phil is a bit harsh but he does (most of the time) know what he's talking about.

I have seen quite a few of these romance scam stories on the UK TV. What is strange and stands out, is that the so called
romeos (scammers) don't even put much effort into conning these ladies. It's so sad that some people are so desperate that they would pay to be loved.

If you are starting a relationship and the other person starts to talk about money, run a mile.

I think it is very sad that these women are so desperate.

The money aspect is the biggest red flag ever! I am a "woman of a certain age" that is targeted but I am poor so I don't have much to fear!

 

[shyvas]

I think it is very sad that these women are so desperate.

The money aspect is the biggest red flag ever! I am a "woman of a certain age" that is targeted but I am poor so I don't have much to fear!

You don't really know someone until you have lived with them for a certain amount of time. It's very easy to be pleasant and nice during dates when all is well. After all, you also do have to take risks. It's always a bit worrying if a person wants to immediately move in with someone.

I have a friend who was also desperate to get married and found a man online. He was only looking to get free rent whilst he was building himself a house; Once it was built he left her after having said that he wanted to marry.

That indeed would scare me.

All financial aspects including not paying the rent or bills and being over controlling are all red flags.

 

[shyvas]

9 things scammers tell you

 

[Chryssie]

I admit that since I have been deceived by a man for years and years, my trust issues are huge! I think Kevin, Sherri's bf, is a nice person. He pays for stuff and has a good job; he is an ICU nurse. I think they are moving a bit fast, though that is not an indication of anything really. I had a long distance online relationship with Jeremy for 3 years before we met IRL. He ended up being a scammer of a different type.

 

[Chryssie]

That is a good article you posted so I will share it on Facebook!

 

[shyvas]

I admit that since I have been deceived by a man for years and years, my trust issues are huge! I think Kevin, Sherri's bf, is a nice person. He pays for stuff and has a good job; he is an ICU nurse. I think they are moving a bit fast, though that is not an indication of anything really. I had a long distance online relationship with Jeremy for 3 years before we met IRL. He ended up being a scammer of a different type.

How long have they been dating ?

 

[Chryssie]

I think they have been dating only a month or so and I have no idea about his past. He is 40 and she is 45 so I have to assume he has been in relationships but never married.

 

[shyvas]

I think they have been dating only a month or so and I have no idea about his past. He is 40 and she is 45 so I have to assume he has been in relationships but never married. I have talked with him some and he seems nice and genuine.

You cannot judge people just because they seem nice. It takes time to really get to know a person.

 

[shyvas]

Scary stuff. I'm amazed that so many woman fall for these scams.

"And of course in this past year, where the pandemic has made it genuinely harder to meet people in person, that may have been exploited by scammers to manipulate victims, who are more isolated, vulnerable and spending more time online."

Online romance fraud has cost victims £63m in 2020

One victim lost £30,000 to a stranger from Tinder and now faces the possibility of losing her home.

news.sky.com

 

[shyvas]

Another sad romance scam and this time the victim was a retired po:

The first message was innocent enough — a compliment, piercing the all-encompassing fog of grief like a welcome shaft of light. 'I like your pictures,' it read. 'Which ones?' replied newly widowed Anne Larkin, flattered. 'All of them!' came the response

What sort of woman could lose £500k to a lonely hearts conman? | Daily Mail Online

www.dailymail.co.uk

 

[Emma JC]

we have a male friend, who has MD and has been in a wheelchair his whole life - he was scammed in a similar way and was even more vulnerable than most because he had never had a relationship due to his condition - so so so sad, he lost at least a hundred thousand, if not more...

Emma JC
Find your vegan soulmate or just a friend. www.spiritualmatchmaking.com

 

[Jamie in Chile]

I think part of the problem is that we victim blame which makes it hard for people to come forward. Everyone seems to be more critical of the victim's mistakes than the perpetrator. The first thing you get when you are scammed is why didn't you do x, y, z.

I think we need a big international effort to go after these people, a difficulty is that the scams cross borders. There needs to be some kind of international department at the UN or Interpol or elsewhere with more focus on it. And if the scamming is concentrated in one country then world leader should be asking that country to deal with it both privately and publicly and threatening reduced trade or sanctions to any country that is causing way above international crime.

The common advice is just to delete these scams but perhaps if we change that to forwarding/logging registering them somehow rather than just ignoring them.

I did have a scammer trying to get me last year. The car was pitched a little below market value so I was on guard straight away. He said he lived in the UK and asked me for a down payment via some online system before even seeing the car, so obvious scam. I said if he lived in the UK please send UK bank account details and I would pay him straight away. I thought it was worth a try because if I got bank account details there might be a chance to trace him. Of course, I didn't get his bank account details. I doubt he lived in the UK or maybe he is smart enough to know a bank account is traceable. That's why it's so hard to get these people.

Another idea is to engage these people in debate and pretend like you are falling for it just purely to waste their time. The more time they are wasting with you the less time they have to scam others and the less profitable the scheme becomes which could induce them to give up. There are even online things where you can set up automated bot to reply to them. It might be worth if it you have an old email account you don't use and are very bored.

 

[Lou]

When I have gotten scams in my email I have forwarded them to where I think they should go. but I have never gotten a reply. Wait, I take that back, once I got something that purported to be from Apple and Apple gave me an attaboy.

My answering machine gets something almost every day. the IRS is out to get me, or my Microsoft something or other is about to expire, or I need to contact Medicare right away. These always scare me the first time I get them but then they fade to just annoying.

One of my senior friends actually fell for one of the Microsoft ones. I was surprised he didn't wise up when the scammer wanted to be paid in Apple gift cards.

You would think the FBI or Interpol would do something about it. Maybe they are overwhelmed or understafed or have bigger fish to free.

I had hopes that John Oliver could at least get rid of robocalls

Why John Oliver is spamming the FCC with robocalls | CNN

John Oliver is spamming the FCC with his own custom robocall to bring attention to the nationwide increase in spam calls.

www.cnn.com

 

[Lou]

Oh, also I saw something on the news that in some countries they teach their students about scams and fake news. Maybe it was Norway. Really nowadays that has to be a good idea.

Maybe we should have a critical thinking skills day every year. Happy Skeptics Day! Kind of like April fools but in reverse.

BTW, tomorrow is National Hobbes Day. Give a stuffed tiger a kiss!