I just had an insane experience in my life, that I figured I would share with you all. so, I had just started seeing this guy who, for the purpose of this story, we will call Bram. Bram and I had been dating for a couple of months, but it was getting serious enough to where his parents wanted to meet me over dinner...since I'm a vegetarian, I asked that the dinner have some things that would accommodate my lifestyle. little did I know, by asking for that would cause the demise of our relationship...
Bram lives in a big family, like he has idk maybe 12 siblings or something (also fun fact, all of their names start with the same letter...), so I was already expecting to be overwhelmed. oh my god, when I got there some of the youngest kids were doing what I can only describe as torturing a poor cricket! I dont want to get into the graphic details, but I asked Bram to stop them. he looked at me odd, like if I requested something insane, then took the cricket from the kids and threw it outside (!!!) I scolded him so hard for throwing the poor thing outside and I guess I was being quite loud with this, because it prompted his father to come over to us. basically, the entire time his dad was constantly heckling me about being a vegetarian. no matter what I did or how many times I tried to change the subject, he had to say something about "my wife went really out of her way to prepare you a special dish" or "so when is this phase going to be over and you'll enjoy a nice burger with the rest of the family"
the atmosphere was also just super creepy. I dont mean to judge religious people, I think it can be a good thing, but they took it to an almost extreme level. trust me, the few times Bram and I had discussed religion prior to this dinner, he just told me he was an atheist and we left it at that. lets just say, I was not prepared for the freaking baby Jesus they kept in the middle of the table at all times. and no it was not a little tiny figurine, it almost looked as if it was a child's baby doll dressed to look like him (I didn't get a good look at it because it kind of just freaked me out). there was other weird religious stuff too, like, a Jesus on the cross on almost every wall of the house (okay, not every wall, but a majority of them). I was just creeped out by one in particular that had the gross detail of pale, lifeless eyes starting right at me. I feel like this might've added another layer why his parents might have not liked me in retrospect. im very goth/alternative and im not shy about it. maybe they thought I was a satanist or something? even then, they shouldn't treat me different for my beliefs! (for clarification though, I am an atheist)
my final straw was when I found out that Bram's mother had snuck in real meat into my meal. like, what the actual heck?? I get it's frustrating having to cook a whole separate dish to accommodate one's dietary needs, but I was just expecting to be served only a salad or something. I would've just rather have not been served any food at all...the family was having steaks and I was told my dish was a lion's mane mushroom alternative...yeah, well when I cut into it, it told a whole different story. what I think his parents were expecting to happen was I would eat the supposed mushroom steak, they would ask if I liked it, I would say yes, and they'd have a "gotcha" moment. yeah, nice try. when they noticed I wasn't really touching the steak and was mainly just eating the carrots and mashed potatoes, I lied and said I had an upset stomach and I didn't want to upset it further. you can imagine the grief that caused. "oh my wife went through all of this trouble..." ummm no she didn't?
on the drive back home, I confronted Bram about how terrible his parents were to me, and yet he didn't stick up for me at all. he told me that his parents had a point, that it's something "exhausting" (his words, not mine) to have to go out of the way to make sure somewhere serves food I can eat, and that I dont appreciate that at all. he also said he didn't understand why im doing this in the first place, even though I've explained to him multiple times that I really value the lives of all creatures, and that I feel its morally wrong to eat the flesh of another living being. I had never once shamed him when he ate meat or made faces. he told me I was really rude to his family and the effort they put in. when I tried to explain to him the issue with the supposed "vegetarian" steak, he told me I was paranoid and his parents would never do something like that...it almost seemed like that set something off in him, because all of a sudden he was telling me all of these crazy things. like how allegedly it was embarrassing to be seen in public at a restaurant with me bc I "always make a scene" (I promise you, im not one of those people. if someone makes a genuine mistake thats okay!! but im not just going to sit there and not eat...im going to say something nicely), and something weird about how the food I eat makes me smell weird (??? I genuinely couldn't figure out his point with this one so idk, anyone weigh in if you know wth he was talking about...even if I did smell, I always wear perfume, shower twice a day, and wear deodorant so???) at that point I started crying, and I told him I think its for the best if we dont see each other anymore, and he agreed.
when I think about it now, its kind of funny how insane it was, but then I remember it happened to me and I get depressed again. I really thought Bram was a nice guy who understood me and my choices. my friends are all saying that he doesn't deserve me and its his loss, and yeah, ik that, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. why is there such stigma towards vegetarians/veganism? I dont see how it's such a big deal that I dont want to eat meat and think animals should be treated with respect, no matter how big or small. I dont understand why people are so adamant that this is "just a phase" or that im "seeking attention".
anyways, sorry for the wordy post. I just had to get this all off of my chest and tell people who I know will understand. thanks for reading my post, if any of you made it this far. hopefully there will be a better partner in my future.
edited to try and make it easier to read. I indented the beginning of each of my paragraphs, but it doesn't display like that for some reason. hopefully this is an easier read!!
Bram lives in a big family, like he has idk maybe 12 siblings or something (also fun fact, all of their names start with the same letter...), so I was already expecting to be overwhelmed. oh my god, when I got there some of the youngest kids were doing what I can only describe as torturing a poor cricket! I dont want to get into the graphic details, but I asked Bram to stop them. he looked at me odd, like if I requested something insane, then took the cricket from the kids and threw it outside (!!!) I scolded him so hard for throwing the poor thing outside and I guess I was being quite loud with this, because it prompted his father to come over to us. basically, the entire time his dad was constantly heckling me about being a vegetarian. no matter what I did or how many times I tried to change the subject, he had to say something about "my wife went really out of her way to prepare you a special dish" or "so when is this phase going to be over and you'll enjoy a nice burger with the rest of the family"
the atmosphere was also just super creepy. I dont mean to judge religious people, I think it can be a good thing, but they took it to an almost extreme level. trust me, the few times Bram and I had discussed religion prior to this dinner, he just told me he was an atheist and we left it at that. lets just say, I was not prepared for the freaking baby Jesus they kept in the middle of the table at all times. and no it was not a little tiny figurine, it almost looked as if it was a child's baby doll dressed to look like him (I didn't get a good look at it because it kind of just freaked me out). there was other weird religious stuff too, like, a Jesus on the cross on almost every wall of the house (okay, not every wall, but a majority of them). I was just creeped out by one in particular that had the gross detail of pale, lifeless eyes starting right at me. I feel like this might've added another layer why his parents might have not liked me in retrospect. im very goth/alternative and im not shy about it. maybe they thought I was a satanist or something? even then, they shouldn't treat me different for my beliefs! (for clarification though, I am an atheist)my final straw was when I found out that Bram's mother had snuck in real meat into my meal. like, what the actual heck?? I get it's frustrating having to cook a whole separate dish to accommodate one's dietary needs, but I was just expecting to be served only a salad or something. I would've just rather have not been served any food at all...the family was having steaks and I was told my dish was a lion's mane mushroom alternative...yeah, well when I cut into it, it told a whole different story. what I think his parents were expecting to happen was I would eat the supposed mushroom steak, they would ask if I liked it, I would say yes, and they'd have a "gotcha" moment. yeah, nice try. when they noticed I wasn't really touching the steak and was mainly just eating the carrots and mashed potatoes, I lied and said I had an upset stomach and I didn't want to upset it further. you can imagine the grief that caused. "oh my wife went through all of this trouble..." ummm no she didn't?
on the drive back home, I confronted Bram about how terrible his parents were to me, and yet he didn't stick up for me at all. he told me that his parents had a point, that it's something "exhausting" (his words, not mine) to have to go out of the way to make sure somewhere serves food I can eat, and that I dont appreciate that at all. he also said he didn't understand why im doing this in the first place, even though I've explained to him multiple times that I really value the lives of all creatures, and that I feel its morally wrong to eat the flesh of another living being. I had never once shamed him when he ate meat or made faces. he told me I was really rude to his family and the effort they put in. when I tried to explain to him the issue with the supposed "vegetarian" steak, he told me I was paranoid and his parents would never do something like that...it almost seemed like that set something off in him, because all of a sudden he was telling me all of these crazy things. like how allegedly it was embarrassing to be seen in public at a restaurant with me bc I "always make a scene" (I promise you, im not one of those people. if someone makes a genuine mistake thats okay!! but im not just going to sit there and not eat...im going to say something nicely), and something weird about how the food I eat makes me smell weird (??? I genuinely couldn't figure out his point with this one so idk, anyone weigh in if you know wth he was talking about...even if I did smell, I always wear perfume, shower twice a day, and wear deodorant so???) at that point I started crying, and I told him I think its for the best if we dont see each other anymore, and he agreed.
when I think about it now, its kind of funny how insane it was, but then I remember it happened to me and I get depressed again. I really thought Bram was a nice guy who understood me and my choices. my friends are all saying that he doesn't deserve me and its his loss, and yeah, ik that, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. why is there such stigma towards vegetarians/veganism? I dont see how it's such a big deal that I dont want to eat meat and think animals should be treated with respect, no matter how big or small. I dont understand why people are so adamant that this is "just a phase" or that im "seeking attention".
anyways, sorry for the wordy post. I just had to get this all off of my chest and tell people who I know will understand. thanks for reading my post, if any of you made it this far. hopefully there will be a better partner in my future.
edited to try and make it easier to read. I indented the beginning of each of my paragraphs, but it doesn't display like that for some reason. hopefully this is an easier read!!
It's impossible to date carnivores because they always have flesh and bones between their teeth and in their mouths. Kissing them is like eating animals ! 
Sorry, I can't help but criticize them! But it's for their own good. 
