Finding it a bit tough

teacup

Forum Practitioner
Joined
Oct 3, 2015
Reaction score
83
Location
Cambridge England
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
I am new here & just saw this ... what are you finding tough? the transition from a flesh eater to a vegan diet? due to pressure from others? problems with cooking? do tell us ...
 
OP
OP
M

mtotheb

Newcomer
Joined
Dec 7, 2016
Reaction score
5
Age
40
Lifestyle
  1. Other
Hey Teacup!

Thanks for taking the time to get back to my thread!!

You know what this vegan stuff is a trip...

I have managed the transition in terms of eating and that aspect is the easy part, what I'm finding difficult is people's attitudes to my diet and also dealing with my own realisation to animal welfare.

For example about a month ago I ate a sausage since my partner was telling me I had become too "extreme!" Well I actually broke down in tears, sobbing like a big baby because after eating the sausage I just felt so bad for the animal!! My partner was fine but it's been a long standing joke now and I don't think people appreciate where I'm coming from. They just see a big man sobbing over a sausage!

This is what I'm finding difficult, I feel totally alone. No one really shares my insight and I'm looked at like I'm crazy!!

I'm not a huge animal lover but I now know animals have as much rights as humans AND I'm not a bully!!

Peace
 
  • Like
Reactions: ThomasTheVegan

Annabellam

Newcomer
Joined
Jan 17, 2017
Reaction score
7
Age
36
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan newbie
For starters i think you are in the right place coming to this forum. There will always be people who do not get you, and people who wont even try. Do not put yourself down too much. Many people here have faced the same challenges and will share how they've been able to deal or overcome. Personally, also learning to cope. I stopped caring but with nuclear family, it's been a little bit easier.
 

Harmony

Newcomer
Joined
Feb 4, 2017
Reaction score
4
Age
43
Location
Maine
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
Being your own person and standing up for yourself and your own path is far more attractive and respectable to the people around you so stick to your own ways and don't let others weaken your plan.
 
OP
OP
M

mtotheb

Newcomer
Joined
Dec 7, 2016
Reaction score
5
Age
40
Lifestyle
  1. Other
Hey harmony

Thanks for the input! I agree with you. It's tough when you're partner doesn't understand and thinks your in the wrong for wanting to be a vegan.

Yesterday I had a pretty heated discussion and I think I'm going to have to make some kind of compromise otherwise it's going to really badly effect my relationship. It's just so annoying that the outside world feel so threatened by veganism and people are soooo disconnected. I'm going to have a vegan mind set but I MAY have to eat the odd chocolate or pizza slice every now and again to keep the peace at home!! I will never eat meat!

Sucks...
 

Harmony

Newcomer
Joined
Feb 4, 2017
Reaction score
4
Age
43
Location
Maine
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
That is a shame that your personal choices affect your relationship negatively :( to be honest that sounds like there is a deeper underlying thing there between you two. Often times when we improve ourselves or do things that challenge others beliefs we receive resistance as it intimidates people when they see us change. They want us to stay the same old us but that is not us evolving. No matter what changes we make for the better for us personally, the people who truly love us WILL accept us and respect our decisions. It is a great way to weed out people we don't need in our lives.
 
OP
OP
M

mtotheb

Newcomer
Joined
Dec 7, 2016
Reaction score
5
Age
40
Lifestyle
  1. Other
Very wise words. Yes I agree on a lot of levels. Personally my relationship with my partner is an evolving process, she has made a lot of changes and has gone vegetarian. Vegan is too hard and fast for her. My choices do effect her positively and negatively like all relationships. I know by backing down slightly ( I can be massively stubborn), I can keep introducing vegan food, ideas etc and hopefully when she is ready she can commit to the change, if not then it's better than what we used to do and eat. It's had a profoundly positive effect on our children. They do eat meat at friends houses etc but they are pretty much vegetarian. I will keep pushing and not give up!! I may have to once in a blue moon eat something I may not want to but my wife is doing the same by giving up meat. Swings and roundabouts and in my opinion a marriage is about compromise as well as helping each other grow..

Thanks so much for your comments. :)
 

Harmony

Newcomer
Joined
Feb 4, 2017
Reaction score
4
Age
43
Location
Maine
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
You get it :) Not everyone is as flexible or understanding in a relationship so it is great that you can see beyond yourself and into your wife and the changes she has already made and the potential that is there. We are all on different paths so it is pretty positive when we can respect that about each other :)
 
OP
OP
M

mtotheb

Newcomer
Joined
Dec 7, 2016
Reaction score
5
Age
40
Lifestyle
  1. Other
Haha! Yeah I try my best! Your right about our own paths. It's why there are so many Wars, peoples paths crossing over others, it's difficult to find middle ground sometimes. Veganism has enlightened me to so much including feminism which as a man I never understood until now! So much to learn.... it's like the matrix!!
 

Harmony

Newcomer
Joined
Feb 4, 2017
Reaction score
4
Age
43
Location
Maine
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
Indeed, everything around us is matrix-like! A never ending web of goodness, junk, etc. It is a crazy mess! That is why I find myself here (0n this forum) as I don't have many people in my life that have a clue about my path. Most of the time I find it is better for me to do things under the radar. I don't tell people anything anymore as to avoid their projections and judgements. It keeps me sane :)

So much to learn, indeed!
 

Kimberlys91

Newcomer
Joined
Feb 24, 2017
Reaction score
2
Age
30
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
If people are insensitive to me about being a vegan or feel like they need to comment on my diet I tell them to F off. That's of course after I have tried to be nice and asked them to either understand my point of view or not comment on the vegan lifestyle.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ThomasTheVegan

liv

Newcomer
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Reaction score
4
Age
23
Location
UK
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan newbie
What's important is not to be too preachy, but I think the best way to go is try and gently educate people around you, without being patronising just explain your reasons. There will always be people who will disagree with you because they know that morally you are in the right so they get defensive. What's important is that you are comfortable that you're doing the right thing for yourself, the planet and animals. We love you, keep going and come back if you need more support xx
 
  • Like
Reactions: ThomasTheVegan

ThomasTheVegan

Newcomer
Joined
Jan 30, 2017
Reaction score
1
Age
32
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
TLDR version: Everyone is on their own unique and personal journey and thats totally okay. Stand strong in your decision and know that YOU are making a difference and the world is a slightly better place because of that my friend.

^^^



Wow, thats a really moving story to me, and I feel that I can relate in a lot of ways to what you are saying here. I have a very strong support system of family and friends that are in fact, meat eaters. But for me, the fact that they support me but are unable to truly see where Im coming from when I say that eating animals is gross and totally wrong, really upsets me. I feel like the fact that they choose to still eat meat and support a industry that is based on exploiting animals, shows that they don't actually understand me but are just being supportive of my decision. no one pokes fun at me or tries to get me to eat meat products; but ultimately, I feel alone and completely in a world of my own a lot of the times.

My personal way of overcoming this is simply training my mind to understand that EVERYONE IS ON THEIR OWN JOURNEY. It might sound a bit cliché, but its true. I have force myself think back to a time where I myself, chose to completely turn a blind eye to the suffering that animals go through. I can remember a time when I thought that living a vegan lifestyle was "over the top" and "extreme". A big part of that thought process for me was not wanting to give up on certain snacks and junk foods that were there for me when I needed comfort. At that time, I was simply not strong enough to give all of that up. And thats ok.

As vegans we have to understand that some people (based on their upbringings and unique and personal experiences) may have a harder time accepting veganism into their own point of view. Some people subconsciously will not accept veganism because if they do, they will then have to actually face and deal with the horrible atrocities that are happening to our animal friends. And that is something that is too hard for some to take on. Not everyone is strong enough to go vegan, and thats the way it is.

Life is a beautiful and PERSONAL journey man. and we can't expect everyone to understand what we are going through. But we can still love those people unconditionally and try our best to teach them with our examples we create with our actions. Just know in your heart and in the back of your mind, that you are not alone. WE are not alone. There is an entire community of people out there who truly understand and support your decision 1000%. You may never meet some of the people that empathize with what you are going through, but remember that they are out here and that we are cheering you on every. step. of the way.


I hope this helps.


-Thoms