Things that have tickled your funny bone lately

I love optical illusions.... :p

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:rofl:
 
Fun & goofy time-waster right here! :D I just clicked the suggest button a few times for each, but you can enter your own... I was in the middle of something else, stumbled upon this... it reminds me of Mad Libs.... LOL

Dystopian Plot Generator


2023, Year of Fascists
A Dystopian Plot
by MadamSarcastra


Nuclear war has destroyed the world as we know it.

The year is 2023. New York is a frozen place ruled by fascists. Once glorious, the Statue of Liberty is now iced over.

Hilarious private detective, Mr Darth Jones is humanity's only hope. Darth finds the courage to start a secret revolutionary organization called The Hope Tribe.

The fight is jeopardised when Darth is tricked by stupid actor, Master Dan Gump, and injures his hand.

Armed with brains and wit, The Hope Tribe try their best to save mankind, but can they defeat deranged fascists and restore the Statue of Liberty to its former glory?




Auto Praise for 2023, Year of Fascists
"Darth Jones is such a compelling hero. I'd give this book six stars if I could."
- The Daily Tale
"Yet another dystopian story set in 2023 New York. Reading this book was like playing golf with my own eyeballs."
- Enid Kibbler
"An injured hand is no joke. I read this book with my heart in my chest."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop
 
No context for this... I just wandered into the kitchen, Fresh Air is on... guy was talking about a schizophrenic Christmas choir singing "Do You Hear What I Hear?" :rofl:
 
Email from my uncle, sharing "Phyllis Dillerisms".... ;)


Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

-Phyllis Diller


Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

-Phyllis Diller


Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.

-Phyllis Diller


The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public..

-Phyllis Diller



Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

-Phyllis Diller


A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

-Phyllis Diller


I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

-Phyllis Diller


Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

-Phyllis Diller


Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

-Phyllis Diller


We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.

-Phyllis Diller


Burt Reynolds once asked me out.

I was in his room.

-Phyllis Diller



What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

-Phyllis Diller

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

-Phyllis Diller


His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

-Phyllis Diller


My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

-Phyllis Diller



I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

-Phyllis Diller


Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.

-Phyllis Diller


I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'

-Phyllis Diller


The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

-Phyllis Diller



You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
-Phyllis Diller
 
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