REVEALED: Pentagon plan to protect U.S. from ‘evil magic zombies’ is ‘not a joke’

[Amy SF]

REVEALED: Pentagon plan to protect U.S. from ‘evil magic zombies’ is ‘not a joke’

I don't know whether I should be relieved that the Pentagon is looking out for us, amused that they actually think zombies are real, or disgusted at the waste of time, money and effort put into this.

 

[ledboots]

Vegetarian zombies? No threat

 

[beancounter]

Near the end of the article:

“Planners…realized that training examples for plans must accommodate the political fallout that occurs if the general public mistakenly believes that a fictional training scenario is actually a real plan,” the authors of CONOP 8888 wrote. “Rather than risk such an outcome by teaching our augmentees using the fictional ‘Tunisia’ or ‘Nigeria’ scenarios used at [Joint Combined Warfighting School], we elected to use a completely-impossible scenario that could never be mistaken for a real plan.”

 

[Amy SF]

The problem is, there are idiots out there who actually believe zombies are real, so for them, a zombie apocalypse seems like a perfectly reasonable possibility.

 

[Blobbenstein]

depends what one means by zombie.

I can imagine that there might be viruses that attack parts of the brain, and lead to people behaving like zombies.

 

[yakherder]

I know a lot of people who WANT to believe it's real, and like a bunch of nerds we've got together and formulated our plans. But deep down, I think we realize there is only about a 40% chance of it actually happening.

 

[Blobbenstein]

when I walked through town early yesterday morning, I imagined that civilisation had ended.....instead of the prospect of the town gradually coming alive in the next few hours, it would just remain empty, wind blowing the rubbish around....it was quite worrying, and that was without including zombies.

 

[Clueless Git]

Near the end of the article:

“Planners…realized that training examples for plans must accommodate the political fallout that occurs if the general public mistakenly believes that a fictional training scenario is actually a real plan,” the authors of CONOP 8888 wrote. “Rather than risk such an outcome by teaching our augmentees using the fictional ‘Tunisia’ or ‘Nigeria’ scenarios used at [Joint Combined Warfighting School], we elected to use a completely-impossible scenario that could never be mistaken for a real plan.”

Double bluff there, BC ...

Clearly the Pentagon is raising a secret zombie army.

These are real plans for if that secret zombie army ever escapes and runs amok.

I know about these things because I play zombies a lot.

"I need ammo .. and cheese. I NEED AMMO AND CHEESE!"

~Samuel L. Stuhlinger

The above quote points towards two further interesting things, btw ..

1. The Pentagon is fully aware that cheese turns people into idiots.

2. Training an army of cheese eating idiots to fight zombies is an integral part of the Pentagons contingency plan.

 

[Clueless Git]

The problem is, there are idiots out there who actually believe zombies are real, so for them, a zombie apocalypse seems like a perfectly reasonable possibility.

Further undermining of those of us who know the truth ...

Are the Pentagon paying you in cheese to say that kinda thing, Amy?

 

[Blobbenstein]

no point in paying Amy in cheese, she's having another heat wave....it would all melt.