One sentence story

Some of them landed in Las Vegas during the middle of an Elvis look alike festival. Soon, they were surrounded by thousands of screaming Elvi.
 
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((LOL, Elvi. :p ))

One of the Elvi happened to be a secret government clone of Elvis, and he was equipped with a high-power laser gun which he proceeded to fire at the starships.
 
Suddenly, a gasp went through the crowd as the Elvis clone opened his cape to reveal the most beautiful rhinestone trimmed white jumpsuit the aliens had ever seen.
 
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HA! Good one!

And the Elvi swizzled their pelvi, curled their lips, and danced joyfully around the clone, shouting,"Thank yew!Thank yew vera much uho-uha!"

SWIVELED their hips! Everyone knows Elvi can't swizzle..
 
The solitary Elvis-being turned up his collar and dejectedly stumbled into the frigid Nevada desert.
 
Realizing that I should stop talking in the third person, I looked down at my oversized Elvis shoes and noticed that the Hermit/Hermit crab had never existed at all, and set off in search of a sandwich.
 
After polishing off a peanut butter and banana creation in the local diner, I looked out the window in disbelief.
 
I was walking down the street when suddenly I spotted something in the distance. I realized, to my surprise, that the object in question was an oversized jar of jam. Half expecting to see a towering jar of peanut butter, I gingerly approached the jam. It was then that the jar proceeded to sprout a gigantic mouth with glass teeth and lunged at me, drooling jam all over the street in the process. Quickly, I pulled a glass encased ant colony from my shoulder holster and pointed it toward the rampaging jam. Unfortunately, it was grape jam and that is the one kind of jam that ants don't eat. Then I woke up from my dream and swore off hummus forever. I noticed some white Pikmin nearby, so I plucked eleven from the ground and tossed them toward the jam jar. But then I realized it was just a dream and there was no jar. Then I realized that it had been a dream, within a dream, within a dream, and my name might be Bobby Ewing. I woke up. Then I turned the clock to zero, and started on a brand new day. However after looking closer I realized that this was either a gently used or a refurbished day. I grabbed the receipt off of the kitchen counter and made my way to Best Buy to complain, cause a scene, and demand a refund. What I got instead of a refund was a night in jail.
"Officer, do you think a 15% restocking fee is reasonable?"
To which the cop replied "hey buddy, I don't make the rules, I enforce them".
So after I got home, I took pictures of snails with my non-digital camera while contemplating whether I should buy a gas or electric stove. Meanwhile, I sent a missile to the moon because I had learned the other day that apparently there were terrorists living up there and I didn't want to take any chances. But the missile accidentally hit a Martian freighter en route to Alpha Centauri.This displeased the Martians greatly, so they sent a fleet of 19,081 starships to Earth, demanding to know what was going on. Some of them landed in Las Vegas during the middle of an Elvis look alike festival. Soon, they were surrounded by thousands of screaming Elvi. One of the Elvi happened to be a secret government clone of Elvis, and he was equipped with a high-power laser gun which he proceeded to fire at the starships. Suddenly, a gasp went through the crowd as the Elvis clone opened his cape to reveal the most beautiful rhinestone trimmed white jumpsuit the aliens had ever seen. All of the aliens died because beautiful rhinestones were their weakness. And the Elvi swizzled their pelvi, curled their lips, and danced joyfully around the clone, shouting,"Thank yew! Thank yew vera much uho-uha!" Unfortunately, the alien ships had nobody alive to pilot them, and they all crashed down to Earth, exterminating the Elvi.
Or did they?
It turned out that one Elvis clone survived the whole ruckus: ME.
The solitary Elvis-being turned up his collar and dejectedly stumbled into the frigid Nevada desert. He came across a hermit who was hanging with Mary Jane and listening to the Doobie Brothers while washing his Pot. But it turned out that the hermit was a hermit crab, and the Elvis stepped on him by accident. He wasn't sure if he had tripped or was tripping. Realizing that I should stop talking in the third person, I looked down at my oversized Elvis shoes and noticed that the Hermit/Hermit crab had never existed at all, and set off in search of a sandwich. After polishing off a peanut butter and banana creation in the local diner, I looked out the window in disbelief. There standing in a row where 10 dancing pink elephants. And they were pooping, too.

Because they reminded me of the ones from that horrifying scene in Dumbo, I set out to exterminate them.
 
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