Do you believe in spanking as a form of discipline?

[Freesia]

I think being spanked was one of many crappy things that happened to me as a kid. But it didnt happen as frequently as the other forms of punishment I remember receiving which were very psychologically damaging. But of course if I was hit frequently it would have been very damaging.

 

[Freesia]

physically attacking? wow.

i can say that many kids i've seen that aren't spanked are definitely less respectful toward their parents, possibly because their parents are too lenient on them and give their kids too many liberties. and that starts to reflect in their behaviors growing up. if a parent can use good accountability and discipline without spanking (or physically attacking as you like to be melodramatic over), more power to them. that's great. I can say that many parents i've seen that won't use any form of spanking or anything are poor at accountability and their kids run rampant.

Good point, but I think that a child being given too much leniency can have more to do with a parent giving a lack of boundaries and firm rules, and less to do with the lack of spanking.

 

[Digger]

Disciplining another's child is almost a taboo...

Unless you're a catholic nun, at least back in the day. Damn those gals gave the hardest spankings and they had the tools to do it with... the so-called 'board of education'. Even looking back on it now though, through a fairly liberal lens, I wouldn't call it abuse. But what do I know... I'm one of these old codgers who think children nowadays aren't disciplined nearly enough, spanking is fine in the proper context, and while we're at it, eight year-olds don't need to be running around with iphones, ipods, ipads and every other latest gadget parents indulge their kids with nowadays just because little Wendy thinks she's entitled to it. I was happy just to get a new sled.

 

[uno]

Good point, but I think that a child being given too much leniency can have more to do with a parent giving a lack of boundaries and firm rules, and less to do with the lack of spanking.

true.

 

[FortyTwo]

Terror != Terrier

And that's what I got out of this conversation.

 

[K-II]

I'm probably a special case but I really don't think I gave my parents any choice but to use physical force in a lot of situations.

 

[Digger]

I only just got around to reading this entire thread but seriously some of the overly dramatic terms used by some here are really bothering me. One poster equated spanking to 'hitting little babies'. Really??? Do you really think that there is anyone in this thread who actually thinks it's okay to spank babies, much less hit them? If you're opposed to spanking, that's fine but honestly, painting all of these parents as some kind of marauding attacker is just ridiculous.

 

[AspireToExpire]

I only just got around to reading this entire thread but seriously some of the overly dramatic terms used by some here are really bothering me. One poster equated spanking to 'hitting little babies'. Really??? Do you really think that there is anyone in this thread who actually thinks it's okay to spank babies, much less hit them? If you're opposed to spanking, that's fine but honestly, painting all of these parents as some kind of marauding attacker is just ridiculous.

One day at work I witnessed a man duck down and punch a baby in the ribs that looked as though it hadn't been walking very long for running his hand along things as he walked because the man warned him "Touch one more thing, yo". I tried to take a picture of the license plate as they pulled away but of course the mother didn't even stop at the stop sign. The infant/toddler didn't cry, but the look in that kids eyes and imagining what his life must be like shook me up a while.

 

[Moll Flanders]

I only just got around to reading this entire thread but seriously some of the overly dramatic terms used by some here are really bothering me. One poster equated spanking to 'hitting little babies'. Really??? Do you really think that there is anyone in this thread who actually thinks it's okay to spank babies, much less hit them? If you're opposed to spanking, that's fine but honestly, painting all of these parents as some kind of marauding attacker is just ridiculous.

Hitting/ slapping, that is basically what spanking is. I don't like the term spanking because it's an attempt to make it sound cute or something. Some of the parents on here don't slap their kids so clearly you can raise kids without doing it.

 

[mlp]

Well, "slapping" means "hitting in the face", at least here in the U.S. that's how the word is commonly used, if nothing more is said (i.e. - "she slapped me" versus "she slapped me on the butt.") And call me crazy, but I see a difference between slapping someone in the face or slapping their butt, just as I see a difference between hitting someone with an open palm and a closed fist.

But that wasn't the point of Digger's post - when you go around saying "slapping babies" or "hitting babies", you're invoking images of people slapping/hitting infants, and that's not what anyone on here is doing/has done.

"Spank" just means hitting on the butt with an open hand. If you think that "spank" is too cutesy, maybe we should just say "hit on the butt with an open hand." But using language like "slapping babies" is inflammatory in the same way as "pro abortion" is, and doesn't aid any kind of reasonable discussion.

 

[Moll Flanders]

But that wasn't the point of Digger's post - when you go around saying "slapping babies" or "hitting babies", you're invoking images of people slapping/hitting infants, and that's not what anyone on here is doing/has done.
"Spank" just means hitting on the butt with an open hand. If you think that "spank" is too cutesy, maybe we should just say "hit on the butt with an open hand." But using language like "slapping babies" is inflammatory in the same way as "pro abortion" is, and doesn't aid any kind of reasonable discussion.

How do you know how people on here slap their kids? I've seen parents slap their toddlers/ kids round the head many times when I've been out shopping. I don't really care if people who slap their kids are offended by the use of the word slap. If they are fine with what they are doing then why are they being so sensitive?

 

[Francesca_Bee]

I saw a woman on the bus slapping her child who was definitely no older than 18 months.

Just cause she'd dropped her toy on the floor a couple of times. I felt very helpless, I was getting very wound up and angry especially cause no one was reacting to it.

I shouted at her from across the bus but she ignored me.....meh.

 

[mlp]

How do you know how people on here slap their kids? I've seen parents slap their toddlers/ kids round the head many times when I've been out shopping. I don't really care if people who slap their kids are offended by the use of the word slap. If they are fine with what they are doing then why are they being so sensitive?

Because I think it's very clear that no one on here has slapped their kids in the face, nor has anyone taken the position that that's O.K.

I think you know that I like you, Moll. But ATM, it seems to me that you are being intentionally inflammatory if not downright rude in your assumptions, and I'm having difficulty understanding that.

ETA: Yes, there are people who slap infants in the face. There are also people who shake infants, people who slam children into the wall, etc. But if you equate a slap on the rear of a toddler or older child with that, and assume that because someone does the latter, they do, or approve the doing of, the former, there's a problem.

 

[Moll Flanders]

Because I think it's very clear that no one on here has slapped their kids in the face, nor has anyone taken the position that that's O.K.
I think you know that I like you, Moll. But ATM, it seems to me that you are being intentionally inflammatory if not downright rude in your assumptions, and I'm having difficulty understanding that.

Over in the UK you would say smack which means slap basically and it doesn't mean just a slap on a bum, it could be legs, hands, head. I remember my teacher slapping one of the boys at my school on the legs.

I'm finding this whole discussion bizarre as some people have shared very painful memories of being hit as kids and the thread seems now to be about not upsetting the parents on here that smack.

 

[Pickle Juice]

I think this discussion really needs to stop being about the people who spank their kids. Talk about how you felt about being spanked, or not spanked, talk about how you feel about spanking as a tool for child rearing, whatever, but making insinuations about the kinds of people who spank their children is veering into making personal attacks. Disagreement is great. Hurting people's feelings is not, and it should be sufficient if someone says that their feelings are hurt by another's comments, for that person to stop making those comments.

 

[Moll Flanders]

I think this discussion really needs to stop being about the people who spank their kids. Talk about how you felt about being spanked, or not spanked, talk about how you feel about spanking as a tool for child rearing, whatever, but making insinuations about the kinds of people who spank their children is veering into making personal attacks. Disagreement is great. Hurting people's feelings is not, and it should be sufficient if someone says that their feelings are hurt by another's comments, for that person to stop making those comments.

Sorry, I was intending to leave this discussion but Digger quoted something I wrote so I wanted to respond. I don't have anything to add anyway so could people not quote my posts as I don't want to carry on as it's pointless. I wish there were more UK people on this debate as it would be very different I think.

 

[Pickle Juice]

Sorry, I was intending to leave this discussion but Digger quoted something I wrote so I wanted to respond. I don't have anything to add anyway so could people not quote my posts as I don't want to carry on as it's pointless. I wish there were more UK people on this debate as it would be very different I think.

That's ok Moll, I wasn't singling you or anyone else out. Just a friendly reminder of what the thread ought to be about.

 

[AspireToExpire]

Hitting/ slapping, that is basically what spanking is. I don't like the term spanking because it's an attempt to make it sound cute or something.

How exactly are people trying to make spanking sound cute? Let's attempt to come at this from another angle; just as you are a logical person and you find offense and insinuation in that choice wording, there are others that are just as logical and find offense and insinuation in yours.

*I removed the second part of your quote because you were getting emotional and throwing digs in again. Defend your viewpoint sure, but don't wonder why you are pissing people off and attempt apologies later. If you want to be rude and throw in digs towards people you considered yourself friendly with, you get what you have coming to you.

 

[mlp]

Moll, maybe you could understand better about the effect of your wording if I draw a parallel:

I think that exposing companion animals to unnecessary risk is something to be avoided. I could therefore say that anyone who lets cats go outside unsupervised and other than in controlled environments is not only negligent but abusive. I suspect that such a statement would offend a number of people who let their cats roam part or all of the day, no matter how confident they may be in their decision. Taking offence at something is not necessarily an indication of some underlying feeling that one is doing wrong.

 

[Moll Flanders]

I like to see that people are responding without actually reading my posts. I said I have no interest in carrying on the discussion.