A few vegan jokes ;)


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Jul 30, 2017
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Why does vegan cheese taste bad?
- It hasn't been tested on mice.

Bad Headlines
  • Restaurants Beef Up Vegetarian Menus (Wall Street Journal 91.10.15, p.B1)
  • Will McDonald's Beef Up Menu with Veggie Burger? (Boston Globe, 98.10.6, D1)
  • Beans Beef Up Vegetarian Meal (Boston Herald 94.2.9, p.57)
  • Strictly Vegetarian Trader Brings Home the Bacon (Los Angeles Times 88.8.21, p. 2)
  • I could go on, but I won't.
What do you call it when one chickpea murders another?
- Hummus-cide

An argument between two vegans is not called a beef.
- Just two people with bad 'tempehs'.



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I do realize a few of these jokes are somewhat anti-vegan, but the humor is still worth posting imho.

Please feel free to add your own to this thread
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Reactions: HappyRoxy and kelli


Dec 3, 2017
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Finally a sense of humour, good work


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I became vegan because vegetarian takes too long to spell.

What do you call a vegan who goes back to meat eating?
A: Someone who lost their veg-inity!

Carnist: Did you hear about that new study that says vegan's are more likely to go blind? I guess it’s because you don’t get the proper nutrition.
Vegan: Nah, it’s just from reading all of those tiny ingredients lists.

Q: What’s the best way to keep milk fresh?
A: Leave it in the cow.

Q: What does the chicken hope to find when it crosses the road?
A: Vegans.

Western Carnist Logic: Countries that eat dogs, cats or dolphins are totally barbaric. They should just eat pigs, cows, fish, chicken and turkeys like normal people.

You need meat to get strong like a lion can eat a rabbit because he eats meat!
Vegan: ye… well you do realize there are other animals besides the rabbit that are herbivore… Like the freaking Rhino!

How many meat eaters does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they would rather stay in the dark about things.

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