Watching grown adults cry when people don't agree with them

Flowrydabae

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I don't wanna use ageist comments. Almost everyone in this forum is older than me, so it's hard to not say anything that will offend everyone. Just know that I don't mean to do it. I don't wanna say "act your age" because what actually is acting your age? I don't really think there's an age limit for anything beyond legal matters. For example, people tell me I shouldn't worry about getting married and becoming a mom "at this age", and I think that's ageist. I just expect people to be nice to everyone no matter what age and just agree to disagree. That's been my philosophy since day one. If I don't like another vegan for their views or whatever it is, or I'm talking to a non vegan and they don't agree with me but they're being super sweet to me, I just agree to disagree and turn around and go do my own thing. I don't hate the person or think they're a bad person. Vegans need to play nice, or we won't convert anybody to saving the planet. I know you wanna convert really bad, but just accept that sometimes you can't. So I guess this philosophical topic is: Do you know how to agree to disagree? Also, are you subconsciously ageist? I don't think I'm ageist, but I think I have ageist tendencies. (I'm so sorry everyone).

And I wanna add, tons of people have been disagreeing with me about things all my life. I've never hated the person as long as I didn't feel a small sense of passive aggressiveness in their comments towards me. If I feel it with people, I just block them or ignore them because I don't like fighting. But keep in mind, it has to be a reoccurring thing. It takes a lot to annoy me, I feel like. Of course I have to protect myself emotionally. Your emotional health is actually more important than your physical health.
 
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Dougrus

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Respectful discourse....yes. It is something I enjoy and do fairly naturally. When disagreement occurs, which is a naturally part of conversation I listen. Not to find holes/openings but really listen, ask questions to perhaps clarify their position and then state where I stand. If the discourse reverts to attacks/ad Hominem arguments, I dont engage.

As for ageism, I suppose we are all guilty of it at times to varying degrees. For instance, as a high school teacher I am around young adults all day long. While there are times that I interact with a student that surprises me and defies certain stereotypes, probably more often I see traits in them that are fairly typical for their age. It isnt necessarily any fault of theirs but they are young, have grown up in a fairly insulated upper middle class suburban town and have not had the life experiences to grant them wisdom on a lot of matters. Most of the even recognize it and default to me and other teachers they respect for advice and tutelage. But I would be lying if I said I didn't expect a certain inexperience and immaturity from them on many things.

Doug
 

Andy_T

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For example, people tell me I shouldn't worry about getting married and becoming a mom "at this age", and I think that's ageist.

If people who are married and have kids tell you to reconsider it, I would take that as helpful advice based on the simple concept that it is easy to get into marriage and kids and not as easy to get out of it again if it - for whatever reason - does not agree with you as much as you initially thought. :p

Mind you, I am not publicly saying I wish somebody had told me that 20 years ago ...
 

Forest Nymph

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Vegans have been "playing nice" for decades and the only thing it helps is the individual vegans themselves to have more peaceful relationships in their personal life. It doesn't help "save the planet" and it has nothing to do with ageism. People who have majored in Animal Studies or who teach Bioethics have thought about this longer and harder than yourself, and that's not even mentioning the people who have devoted their lives to environmental or animal rights activism.

Your emotional health is also not more important than your physical health. You'd be surprised just how much your emotional and mental health is related to your physical health. They're both equally important.

I'd like to suggest that you take some college classes. Soon. Your posts remind me of a sixteen year old taken with their own newfound brilliance, and I'm under the impression that you're an employed adult.
 

silva

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I don't wanna use ageist comments. Almost everyone in this forum is older than me, so it's hard to not say anything that will offend everyone. Just know that I don't mean to do it. I don't wanna say "act your age" because what actually is acting your age? I don't really think there's an age limit for anything beyond legal matters. For example, people tell me I shouldn't worry about getting married and becoming a mom "at this age", and I think that's ageist. I just expect people to be nice to everyone no matter what age and just agree to disagree. That's been my philosophy since day one. If I don't like another vegan for their views or whatever it is, or I'm talking to a non vegan and they don't agree with me but they're being super sweet to me, I just agree to disagree and turn around and go do my own thing. I don't hate the person or think they're a bad person. Vegans need to play nice, or we won't convert anybody to saving the planet. I know you wanna convert really bad, but just accept that sometimes you can't. So I guess this philosophical topic is: Do you know how to agree to disagree? Also, are you subconsciously ageist? I don't think I'm ageist, but I think I have ageist tendencies. (I'm so sorry everyone).

And I wanna add, tons of people have been disagreeing with me about things all my life. I've never hated the person as long as I didn't feel a small sense of passive aggressiveness in their comments towards me. If I feel it with people, I just block them or ignore them because I don't like fighting. But keep in mind, it has to be a reoccurring thing. It takes a lot to annoy me, I feel like. Of course I have to protect myself emotionally. Your emotional health is actually more important than your physical health.
So much gets left out of conversations. As I age I realize a lot of what I say to people younger is nothing more than me reflecting on my experiences and observations, and not judgement, but I don't always think it comes across that way. When you're young you project the future, when you're older you remember the past. People shouldn't really give advice about having kids or other choices, but it's only natural for them to talk about their experiences without being judgemental- and that goes both ways
 

Mischief

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Mind you, I am not publicly saying I wish somebody had told me that 20 years ago ...
[/QUOTE]

Of course not! :p
 

Mischief

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I don't wanna use ageist comments. Almost everyone in this forum is older than me, so it's hard to not say anything that will offend everyone. Just know that I don't mean to do it. I don't wanna say "act your age" because what actually is acting your age? I don't really think there's an age limit for anything beyond legal matters. For example, people tell me I shouldn't worry about getting married and becoming a mom "at this age", and I think that's ageist. I just expect people to be nice to everyone no matter what age and just agree to disagree. That's been my philosophy since day one. If I don't like another vegan for their views or whatever it is, or I'm talking to a non vegan and they don't agree with me but they're being super sweet to me, I just agree to disagree and turn around and go do my own thing. I don't hate the person or think they're a bad person. Vegans need to play nice, or we won't convert anybody to saving the planet. I know you wanna convert really bad, but just accept that sometimes you can't. So I guess this philosophical topic is: Do you know how to agree to disagree? Also, are you subconsciously ageist? I don't think I'm ageist, but I think I have ageist tendencies. (I'm so sorry everyone).

And I wanna add, tons of people have been disagreeing with me about things all my life. I've never hated the person as long as I didn't feel a small sense of passive aggressiveness in their comments towards me. If I feel it with people, I just block them or ignore them because I don't like fighting. But keep in mind, it has to be a reoccurring thing. It takes a lot to annoy me, I feel like. Of course I have to protect myself emotionally. Your emotional health is actually more important than your physical health.

I think your basic outlook on interactions with others is a healthy, well-balanced one.