Totally unsuitable gifts!

[spottygiraffe]

My sister-in-law just came to stay for a week and I can't quite get my head around the inappropriate presents she brought for me/us. She brought:

2 kgs pork sausages
2 kgs bacon
500g milk chocolate
1 enormous fruit cake made with eggs and butter
1 enormous chocolate cake made with milk choc, butter and eggs
2 packets of pancakes
1 jar of mincemeat made with suet

And she also stocked my fridge with ham, chicken, milk and butter, which she kept putting on the table at mealtimes.

I don't know what on Earth I'm going to do with all that dead pig that's now in my freezer and there's only so much cake my omni husband and kids can eat! Do you think that she was trying to prove some kind of point or that she just literally didn't think?

What's the most inappropriate gift you've ever been given?

 

[Calliegirl]

I think the only thing I've gotten was a leather wallet. A friend had gotten one and I remarked how handy it was with all the pockets. She said she got it at the dollar store and offered to get me one. I told her no thanks because it looks like it's leather and she knows that I don't use leather. She surprised me with it anyway, and sure enough, it was leather.

Maybe you can give all that bacon and sausage to a food bank, or an animal sanctuary that has carnivores.

 

[Amy SF]

Maybe you can give all that bacon and sausage to a food bank

I agree. If you don't want it all in your home, a food bank would be happy to take it.

And yes, I think the SIL was making a nasty point. Just one nonveg item, you could make the case that she forgot or misunderstood what veganism is all about. But a whole list of omni items that she kept putting out on the table sends a clear message: "I think your veganism is stupid and I'm putting all this animal flesh and nonvegan stuff out so you can see the rest of us eating it, and may you'll even give up your veganism and eat some of it."

As for inappropriate gifts that I've received, I can't think of anything offhand that relates to veg*anism. I did once receive a cross pendant for Christmas, but to be fair, the giver who drew my name in the Secret Santa swap at work knew nothing about me and so had no idea that I'm Jewish. I gave it to the Salvadoran woman who came to clean my apartment.

 

[Trinity]

I agree. If you don't want it all in your home, a food bank would be happy to take it.

What a wonderful idea!

I feel quite blessed.
I think I must've vibed everyone out! I've found tactful ways to be honest in the past (sometimes more successful than other times)... so people who take me as I am tend to stick around, everyone else seemed to fall away. Only people who know me really well give me gifts now.

I'm a bit of a minimalist, so I find that giving unwanted gifts to charity (thrift) shops comes in handy. Although I haven't had to do that in a while.

 

[spottygiraffe]

I forgot about the blocks of cheese she brought too! My family will probably eat that and having cheese in the house doesn't freak me out. It's a good idea to give the meat away -I might offer it to my neighbour who is really strapped for cash.

"I think your veganism is stupid and I'm putting all this animal flesh and nonvegan stuff out so you can see the rest of us eating it, and may you'll even give up your veganism and eat some of it."

I think Amy might be right and she was trying to prove some kind of point. Or that vegan food isn't susbstantial enough and that they 'need' animal products.

 

[SummerRain]

It sounds to me like the bought them more for herself than as a gift. I.e. she knew she'd be staying for a week and wanted the kind of food she prefers around, so she bought it as a "gift" and bought it to the table/etc so she could eat it. That would be my guess anyway.

I guess I sometimes do the same thing, but in reverse. I.e. I'll bake vegan goods to take with me to families houses, as gifts to the host, but it also means there'll be vegan deserts/snacks around for me to eat. Or if it's their birthday I'll offer to bake the cake. Then again, I do that more for their benefit... it seems to make people awkward if they're all eating cake/biscuits/etc and there isn't anything I can eat, even though I don't mind... it seems to make people uncomfortable. So if I make sure there's food for me to eat, everyone is happy.

For a while when I first went vegan people would forget and give me non-vegan items (i.e. chocolate) and I'd politely accept and then trade them with my mum for chocolate I could eat. I don't think I've ever been purposefully given something unsuitable... as far as I know! I'm lucky in that most of my friends and family try really really hard to get it right.

 

[spottygiraffe]

I guess I sometimes do the same thing, but in reverse

Me too! I did the catering for my friend's wedding at the weekend (only a very small wedding) and part of the reason I offered was so that there would be lots for me to eat.... Someone else made a chocolate cake too and my vegan one got eaten first. I made sure I told everyone it was vegan....

.e. she knew she'd be staying for a week and wanted the kind of food she prefers around, so she bought it as a "gift" and bought it to the table/etc so she could eat it.

Good point. She did seem to really enjoy the vegan food so maybe next time she won't bring so many provisions 'just in case'.

 

[mary1]

I would get your husband to speak to her about it to avoid this in the future. That sounds horrible!!

 

[spottygiraffe]

Nah, my husband is scared of her so he'd never say anything!!! I think she got the hint while she was here and I'm positive she enjoyed my food, so perhaps she won't go so over the top next time.......

Having meat in the house doesn't freak me out too much because I occasionally cook it for my family. I'm sure it would be far, far worse for some of you.