Too shy to say no

[ThatVeganGreek]

Hello there fellow vegans! I'm 18 years old and I've been a vegan for about 35 days. Before that I was a pescatarian for almost 1.5 years. The problem is, I am in a study group with a tutor and 5 other classmates and about 2 or 3 times a year we order food during our sessions. While I was a pescatarian it was easy saying that I'm full for instance if we ordered meat and when we ordered pizza there was no problem. The thing is, now that I'm vegan I get soo nervous just thinking about this. I'm too shy you know (possibly could have a light form of social anxiety but I'm not diagnosed) and it's really hard for me to say that I can't eat something because I'm vegan. I have no problem watching them eat, but I just know the tutor is going to insist on burying something vegan for me and I don't feel comfortable with that because he's paying. What do I do? Help!

 

[Val]

Hello there fellow vegans! I'm 18 years old and I've been a vegan for about 35 days. Before that I was a pescatarian for almost 1.5 years. The problem is, I am in a study group with a tutor and 5 other classmates and about 2 or 3 times a year we order food during our sessions. While I was a pescatarian it was easy saying that I'm full for instance if we ordered meat and when we ordered pizza there was no problem. The thing is, now that I'm vegan I get soo nervous just thinking about this. I'm too shy you know (possibly could have a light form of social anxiety but I'm not diagnosed) and it's really hard for me to say that I can't eat something because I'm vegan. I have no problem watching them eat, but I just know the tutor is going to insist on burying something vegan for me and I don't feel comfortable with that because he's paying. What do I do? Help!

What to do? Maybe you could speak to your tutor like an adult person, explain him your point of view thoroughly and offer to at least share the expenses on your food? Because if you're not getting back to meat-eating, and your group's meetups are going to proceed anyway, then this issue will be resurfacing again and again,- and it's better to spare him and yourself from inconvenience once and for all. Otherwise, everyone will be feeling awkward (or you'll have to be cheating every time and eat dairy/fish/meat). As a rule, people get offended when you're dishonest with them,- not when you strongly stand for what is important to you.

 

[Emma JC]

being honest is good advice, @Val - I would suggest the same and you could ask if half of a pizza could be without cheese or meat and/or you could just pick off anything that you don't wish to eat

sharing the cost is an option or just bring your own food and explain why you are doing so - especially if you bring something really tasty and share some of it with others, they will appreciate your stance even more...

welcome to the forum and congrats on your decision to go vegan!!

Emma JC

 

[Jamie in Chile]

I agree with Emma. Don´t say nothing. Just figure out the best way to handle it. Good luck!

 

[Hog]

Like most humans I have digestive problems with animal products.

If you do not believe me, come over to my house with a quart of milk. You will want to maintain far more than 6 feet of social distance.

 

[Sproutskies]

Yeah, pretty much agree with what's being said. There is no way to grow without some resistance or uncomfortable situations. If you have a bunch of anxiety around the group it might be more fitting to just approach the tutor ahead of time. You got this!