Vegan potluck for non vegans

[IngeCurro]

Hello
I'm new to this forum and really excited, since leaving facebook I miss the support of other animal lovers.

So I am pregnant with our third child We want to do a baby party (in belgium, so around 1 month after the birth). As I want to go to university again next year we don't want to spend to much money. The other parties we did was with a vegan foodtruck to be sure. This time we want to do a garden dessert potluck.

So now my question... how to organise a vegan potluck for non vegans?

My family and friends understand it and it's no problem. My husbands family makes it always a big drama... so no idea how to handle this? (Haven't seen them in over 6 months due to a vegan fight AGAIN).

Do you ask in the invistation to only bring vegan food? How stict should i be?
I want the party to be fun. Not to much stress.

 

[Lou]

I see that you just visited that old thread on the vegan wedding. Too bad there isn't an update. But it seems like you already have some experience in this area.

I don't think I should be advising you - you probably know more about these kind of situations than I do. but it might be that you are more interested in support or reinforcement than advice.

I am in total support of your wish to have a vegan party/potluck.

Anyway to try to answer your question, I think stating on the invitation that yours is a vegan family and it would be greatly appreciated if the attendees respect your values and ONLY bring vegan food. Maybe add that they are welcome to ask you for suggestions. *

Then I would ask your husband or maybe your favorite in-law to call all the in-laws that might be a problem and tell them that they are very welcome at the party but their "drama" is not. Then state politely that if they can't leave the drama at home it would be better for everyone that they stay home themselves.

* I sometimes go to a vegan potluck where there is a core of friends but they invite other people online (like me). Last time I helped by making a Google doc that was included in the invitation. The purpose of the doc was to avoid what happened once before when almost everyone brought dessert. I can't remember how I worded the directions but I had created categories for the sign up, like desserts, apps, and beverages, etc. So it would be obvious if we didn't need any more desserts but needed more apps.​

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You could do something like his but also include suggestions for the carnists. Like cups or drinks or a veggie platter.​

 

[silva]

Hello
I'm new to this forum and really excited, since leaving facebook I miss the support of other animal lovers.

So I am pregnant with our third child We want to do a baby party (in belgium, so around 1 month after the birth). As I want to go to university again next year we don't want to spend to much money. The other parties we did was with a vegan foodtruck to be sure. This time we want to do a garden dessert potluck.

So now my question... how to organise a vegan potluck for non vegans?

My family and friends understand it and it's no problem. My husbands family makes it always a big drama... so no idea how to handle this? (Haven't seen them in over 6 months due to a vegan fight AGAIN).

Do you ask in the invistation to only bring vegan food? How stict should i be?
I want the party to be fun. Not to much stress.

How are the fights initiated?
I would be clear that the food will be vegan. This should be looked at as if your family had food allergies, or dietary restrictions due to religious beliefs. No one would (should!) be crying about not having proper bread, or pork or whatever in those circumstances, which is exactly what I'd point out to them if they argue.
Family get togethers are not obligatory. While you'd hope everyone could just get along and enjoy the company, it's not mandatory. Sometimes it's better to cut people out our lives than allow them to actively ruin things.

What is your husbands response?

Oh geeeeeez.... I just noticed it says "dessert potluck" . In a way, this is hard because many people do have close ties to their desserts, kinda known by them....
Honestly I see this as almost trickier to navigate. One, it's harder to get through to many people why dairy and eggs are best avoided. Two, people really get stuck on what they consider dessert. Personally, while I can make a lot of things vegan, as well as new things and made up things, it was maybe the last group that I threw tanturns over!

But all that aside, it's YOUR party, celebrating YOUR family. Just being invited is a gift to others, and if they don't want to accept it it's on them, not you

 

[IngeCurro]

The big reason for doing dessert is that in this manner at least I am sure no meat or fish will be brought... Because that's what the whole fight is about with his family. They say that I can bring my own food to their parties so they want to bring their meat to my parties. I don't want meat in my house.

 

[IngeCurro]

My husband is vegetarian so he has the same idea that I have. But it's his family so he tries to be a bit in the middle.