Supporting my vegan partner

JordanJames

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Hi,

My partner was pregnant in the past but it was 'not meant to be'. During this short pregnancy she became repulsed by the things that we would usually eat - delicious home-cooked meals seitan, tofu etc, and would instead crave things such as Babybel. It was incredibly difficult for me to have to deal with her not being able to eat the food that she loved, so together we ate what she felt comfortable eating. Although she didn't show it I feel that this deeply upset her.
Does anybody have any advice as to what I should do if/when she becomes pregnant again with regards to her craving animal products? I am not in a position where I am willing to 'guilt trip' her into not eating animal products as I myself am not vegan. I just want to make the pregnancy as easy and bearable as possible. But I also do not want her to upset herself by eating animal products. If she physically can not eat vegan without feeling ill then of course she should eat what she feels she can, right?

Does anybody have any experience with such difficulties during pregnancy, and can offer me some HELPFUL advice?
 

amberfunk

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Let her eat what she can and tell her that it's ok. With my last pregnancy the only things that would stay down and that I could even tolerate were animal products such as taco bell, ravioli, etc. It became a matter of getting sick or starving. I love my vegan food and I didn't even want pasta which is my favorite. Yes, it was upsetting but I had to be able to eat. There's no shame in making sure you're eating when you're pregnant even if it's animal products. Make sure she knows it won't last forever.

She could also try meat substitutes such as gardein and see if those appeal to her or even vegan cheese. It's worth a shot. Also know that every pregnancy is different and next time she may be able to eat normally. Good luck.
 
P

Plant Muncher

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With each of my wife's 3 pregnancies, she craved some thing different. Normally a vegetarian, she began to crave chicken with our middle child. A woman's body tells them what they need while they are pregnant. She should listen to he body and eat what she is craving.
 
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rogerjolly

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HI PM,

I have been trying hard to avoid the high risk of creating another mini ding-dong because of my attitude towards cravings in general but I give in. Here we go!

She should listen to her body and eat what she is craving.
The “ethical” vegan probably has a very different viewpoint than the “mainly health reason” vegan. Surely cravings can normally be overcome. Certainly the first port of call should be resistance and not immediate surrender. Imagine a woman who has been vegan her entire life. Could she possibly have cravings for a food she has never tasted?

I am now going into hiding for a few days. :)

Roger.
 
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amberfunk

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However the woman in question has not been a vegan her entire life. I am a vegan for health and for ethical reasons however when I couldn't hold anything down but meat I gave in because I needed to eat whether it was ethical or not. You have an entirely different view point when you see someone who is literally struggling just to get out of bed because they are so weak from vomiting constantly due to morning sickness.

Cravings themselves can be overcome normally but morning sickness really isn't that normal of a thing. They can try to be overcome but if she is becoming ill just from the thought of it there's no use.
 
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Plant Muncher

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HI PM,

I have been trying hard to avoid the high risk of creating another mini ding-dong because of my attitude towards cravings in general but I give in. Here we go!



The “ethical” vegan probably has a very different viewpoint than the “mainly health reason” vegan. Surely cravings can normally be overcome. Certainly the first port of call should be resistance and not immediate surrender. Imagine a woman who has been vegan her entire life. Could she possibly have cravings for a food she has never tasted?

I am now going into hiding for a few days. :)

Roger.
Interestingly enough, I have been having sort of the opposite problem 10 months in. I can't seem to be interested in any foods. Not even some of the foods I absolutely loved when I initially became vegan. I have no cravings for anything anymore. When I did eat meat, I would get a craving for a certain fast food burger, or pizza, or some other favorite foods but recently I have craved absolutely nothing.

I wonder if I am the only one who has experienced this phenomenon?
 
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Plant Muncher

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However the woman in question has not been a vegan her entire life. I am a vegan for health and for ethical reasons however when I couldn't hold anything down but meat I gave in because I needed to eat whether it was ethical or not. You have an entirely different view point when you see someone who is literally struggling just to get out of bed because they are so weak from vomiting constantly due to morning sickness.

Cravings themselves can be overcome normally but morning sickness really isn't that normal of a thing. They can try to be overcome but if she is becoming ill just from the thought of it there's no use.
Pregnancy is a unique circumstance. You are creating an entirely new life and all the ethical, personal health considerations, and other values you have held dear are secondary to the task of delivering a healthy baby. Not that you can't do this as a vegan but not everyone is the same nor are the needs of one mother going to be the same as another mother. No one can tell a gestating woman what she needs except her doctor.
 
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Mark Mywordz

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Pregnancy is a unique circumstance. You are creating an entirely new life and all the ethical, personal health considerations, and other values you have held dear are secondary to the task of delivering a healthy baby.
I could not agree more, PM. Roger would do well to go into hiding for a while!
 
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Rory17

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Hi!
I feel that, while it is extremely important to be kind to animals, it is even more important to be kind to yourself. That being said, maybe your partner could eat vegan alternatives to the foods that she craves (?) Instead of Babybels, she could eat Violife or another kind of vegan cheese (Sheese, Cheezly, Follow Your Heart, Galaxy Foods and Sainsbury's own brand vegan "cheese" products come to mind). Instead of chicken, she could eat Quorn Vegan Pieces. Instead of beef-burgers, she could eat veggie burgers, bean burgers or Quorn Vegan Hot & Spicy Burgers.
By the way, I would greatly encourage you to go vegan as well. If you went vegan, you would no longer be supporting animal agriculture, which is responsible for a lot of animal cruelty, environmental devastation and habitat destruction. It could also improve your health and, perhaps, lower your risk of getting certain diseases. http://www.nursingdegree.net/blog/19/57-health-benefits-of-going-vegan/
It could also assist you in supporting your wife, make her feel happier and make things easier when you are choosing a place to eat at when planning to eat out.
Thank you.
Have a great day (or night)!
 

rogerjolly

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I could not agree more, PM. Roger would do well to go into hiding for a while!
Poor Roger. All he did was to call for resistance instead of heading straight for the nuclear option. Arguing for veganism on a vegan website for heaven’s sake! And now he has developed a black pointy beard and sprouted horns on his head. He must be feeling isolated, forlorn and very sad.

Roger.
 

rogerjolly

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No one can tell a gestating woman what she needs except her doctor.
Beware the medical professionals. The days of “Doctor knows best” and “Trust me, I’m a doctor” are long gone. A good doctor does not tell the patient what they need but listens attentively to the patient and makes recommendations and offers alternatives together with the plusses and minuses that go with them. But I’m afraid some are still very old school.

Let me tell a true story about somebody very close to me.

A vegan woman becomes a student nurse at a mature age. Because of the age difference she is treated almost as a mother figure not only by her fellow students but by many of the trained staff on the wards. Whenever there is a little celebration amongst the staff like a birthday it is she who provides the most delicious chocolate cake in the world.

A nutritionist is brought in to lecture the students during their final stages of training. She hammers away about veganism being a curse on humanity producing underweight unhealthy bodies. Milk is the only really good source of calcium. There is no acceptable alternative to meat for protein. She doesn’t notice the furtive glances heading in just one direction. Her jocular grand finale is, “And furthermore, you can’t make a decent cake without eggs.” The lecture hall erupts in raucous wild laughter and the lecturer is totally puzzled as to why her joke is so much funnier today than it was in previous years.
 
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Plant Muncher

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Beware the medical professionals. The days of “Doctor knows best” and “Trust me, I’m a doctor” are long gone. A good doctor does not tell the patient what they need but listens attentively to the patient and makes recommendations and offers alternatives together with the plusses and minuses that go with them. But I’m afraid some are still very old school.

Let me tell a true story about somebody very close to me.

A vegan woman becomes a student nurse at a mature age. Because of the age difference she is treated almost as a mother figure not only by her fellow students but by many of the trained staff on the wards. Whenever there is a little celebration amongst the staff like a birthday it is she who provides the most delicious chocolate cake in the world.

A nutritionist is brought in to lecture the students during their final stages of training. She hammers away about veganism being a curse on humanity producing underweight unhealthy bodies. Milk is the only really good source of calcium. There is no acceptable alternative to meat for protein. She doesn’t notice the furtive glances heading in just one direction. Her jocular grand finale is, “And furthermore, you can’t make a decent cake without eggs.” The lecture hall erupts in raucous wild laughter and the lecturer is totally puzzled as to why her joke is so much funnier today than it was in previous years.
I'm no believer that doctors know everything. Not by any stretch. Most doctors complete their med school training with an average of one class in nutrition. My own doctor looked at me shocked when I told him that I was vegan. OBGYN are specialists. They tend to know what they are talking about. At least in this country.