Step Children

Acie77

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Jan 5, 2021
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33
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York
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  1. Vegan
Hi,
I'm new here and after some advise 🙂
My partner is a meat eater (eats alot of meat!)
I am a vegan.
He has 3 children who are all meat eaters (ages 8 to 13) all eat meat constantly. They are all very overweight aswell and greedy.
Does anyone else get upset seeing greedy children eat large quantities of meat not caring about where it's coming from. I cant stop thinking about how many animals deaths and abuse they will cause. They over eat aswell they are killing more than the average weight person. 😢
How do I deal with these emotions without it eating me up?! (excuse the pun!!)
 
Hi,
I'm new here and after some advise 🙂
My partner is a meat eater (eats alot of meat!)
I am a vegan.
He has 3 children who are all meat eaters (ages 8 to 13) all eat meat constantly. They are all very overweight aswell and greedy.
Does anyone else get upset seeing greedy children eat large quantities of meat not caring about where it's coming from. I cant stop thinking about how many animals deaths and abuse they will cause. They over eat aswell they are killing more than the average weight person. 😢
How do I deal with these emotions without it eating me up?! (excuse the pun!!)
I don't see how you can deal with this situation Acie. I think the problems it's going to cause you, especially on a long term basis, will far outweigh the gains you get from this relationship. Sorry to be so negative but I really think the odds are against you. 🤔
 
I don't see how you can deal with this situation Acie. I think the problems it's going to cause you, especially on a long term basis, will far outweigh the gains you get from this relationship. Sorry to be so negative but I really think the odds are against you. 🤔
I am so sorry you're having such a difficult time. Have you spoken to your partner about your concerns on the subject?
 
Your partner is YOUR CHOICE. Deciding to stay with someone with either the hope they will change, or the hope you will learn to accept what you dislike is a really really bad decision
You don't say how long you've had this relationship, but how you describe the children it sounds new. Children need respect and values, it's hard enough for them to accept a step parent in their life.

There's a whole lot more than them being meateaters here you have to deal with
 
Yes I have spoken to him he says that I shouldnt talk about being Vegan to him or his children. He doesnt want to know the horrific things that happen to the animals and I am not allowed to educate his children on the matter.
Believe it or not we have been together 4 years. I only became fully vegan one year ago.
You are all right I was hoping they would change. Maybe he would see me as a good role model but because he thinks being vegan is "stupid" he will not see me as a good role model.
Thank you for your replies 🙂
 
I do sympathize with your situation. I think you need to come to terms with it if you are going to stay together. I would not try to push the issue on them. It is possible you will be a good example but it could take a very long time. The question is are you able to overlook their eating habits and just try to coexist.
 
Yes I have spoken to him he says that I shouldnt talk about being Vegan to him or his children. He doesnt want to know the horrific things that happen to the animals and I am not allowed to educate his children on the matter.
Believe it or not we have been together 4 years. I only became fully vegan one year ago.
You are all right I was hoping they would change. Maybe he would see me as a good role model but because he thinks being vegan is "stupid" he will not see me as a good role model.
Thank you for your replies 🙂
These statements are really concerning. He's treating you as his child, and it sounds as if he thinks quite less of you than his children
 
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Hello!
I have read your statement, and, from my personal experience, it is better not to push the buttons and persuade them into changing they point of view. It will end bad, and you will be left sad and hurt. Maybe over time they will see and learn the benefits of veganism and become one too, but until then I recommend you no to do anything and live one.
Meghan
 
Hi,
I'm new here and after some advise 🙂
My partner is a meat eater (eats alot of meat!)
I am a vegan.
He has 3 children who are all meat eaters (ages 8 to 13) all eat meat constantly. They are all very overweight aswell and greedy.
Does anyone else get upset seeing greedy children eat large quantities of meat not caring about where it's coming from. I cant stop thinking about how many animals deaths and abuse they will cause. They over eat aswell they are killing more than the average weight person. 😢
How do I deal with these emotions without it eating me up?! (excuse the pun!!
This type of frustration is quite familiar to me growing up with a step-mom who was sometimes trying to program in some new habits. She was not coming at me from the vegan perspective but more towards behaviors that irritated the crap out of her. Intentions may have been great but the reality for me was that this was some sort of new imposing authoritative force on my life. It did not matter what she would say, it would always provoke some form of resistance if it was coming from a place of "you must do or be this thing".

Depending on how long you have been in the relationship (update just saw your new post).. they quite possibly might not see or think of you as a full blown parent. If not, trying to change their ways will only reinforce their habits by way of rebellion. The fact that you describe them as greedy and fat shows a subtle contempt in how you view them, even if it is a matter of fact. My meat-eating friends will never listen to me if I tell them how much they are murderers and should just adopt my beliefs. It's always been easier to gradually talk about the benefits on health and wellness. I also just adopted this way of life 7 months ago and cannot really judge others with my lifetime of not being vegan.
 
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I have 2 stepchildren who hate vegan food. They probably hate it because I make it, and they don't like me very much.
I don't allow meat in our house. However, I have compromised and allow them to eat vegetarian when they are here (every other weekend). Their father cooks their food. It's stodgy stuff such as risotto and creamy pasta.

I've given up on trying to convince them to eat healthy or to do right by the animals and the environment. They are spoilt brats who don't give a **** about anything except their teenage selves. And when they get fat and end up with health problems because of how they eat, I will sit back and think "I told you so." They're not my kids, they're not my responsibility.
 
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My meat-eating friends will never listen to me if I tell them how much they are murderers and should just adopt my beliefs. It's always been easier to gradually talk about the benefits on health and wellness. I also just adopted this way of life 7 months ago and cannot really judge others with my lifetime of not being vegan.

This is very true and I don't know whether we have any naturally born veg*ans on this forum except for @Jon who was the 1 st vegan child in the UK.

I always find that it's more helpful not to preach and dictate to people what they should eat. As they say ' it's easier to catch flies with honey rather than vinegar.'
I always encourage any friend who tries to eat less meat/dairy and tell them that it contributes to saving more animals. I have a friend that eats less of the latter for health reasons. So, I always add 'it also is beneficial for animal welfare'. This seems to trigger a sense of purpose and makes her feel slightly happier, even though she states that she'll never give up eating meat.

It's always better to try and win friends over and influence them, rather than get into arguments and shun them away.
 
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Yes I have spoken to him he says that I shouldnt talk about being Vegan to him or his children. He doesnt want to know the horrific things that happen to the animals and I am not allowed to educate his children on the matter.
Believe it or not we have been together 4 years. I only became fully vegan one year ago.
You are all right I was hoping they would change. Maybe he would see me as a good role model but because he thinks being vegan is "stupid" he will not see me as a good role model.
Thank you for your replies 🙂
he seams like an awful person based on what you are saying.