even if not better off, it's a good idea. divorces usually end messy. and protecting oneself is a great idea.If one partner is considerably better off than another then I can see why they would want a pre-nup and hypothetically I wouldn't be upset if someone wanted me to sign one if I was going to be married to a billionaire or something.
Pre-Nups for Ordinary People
- Thread starter Lord Snot
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Jesus...im so lucky M doesnt think Im after his money...until I find a new job Im a golddigger haha!If one partner is considerably better off than another then I can see why they would want a pre-nup and hypothetically I wouldn't be upset if someone wanted me to sign one if I was going to be married to a billionaire or something.
Pickle Juice
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I wouldn't marry someone who had so little trust. Doesn't bode well for the marriage. And I wouldn't expect it of someone either. I'm a homeowner, so it's not like I have nothing to lose. I'm not very materialistic though, and the state to which I am accustomed is one that veers from poverty to extreme poverty.
I think most pre-nups can be thrown out if the marriage takes place in a state with community property laws anyway.
I think most pre-nups can be thrown out if the marriage takes place in a state with community property laws anyway.
This. The majority of people turn dickish during breakups, and the longer people have been together, the more likely dickish-ness is to ensue. IME.
Didn't have a prenup, got burned. Shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
Edit: In response to PJ
Mute point for me, but I wouldn't want to marry someone who wasn't pragmatic about finances and marriage. IMO trust doesn't even enter the picture here.
IIRC the three leading cause of divorce are finances, addictions and infidelity. Finances should be negotiated ahead of time, addictions hopefully are known ahead of time and can be avoided and infidelity is where IMO trust comes into play, but again really shouldn't come as a surprise if you really know the person.
Mute point for me, but I wouldn't want to marry someone who wasn't pragmatic about finances and marriage. IMO trust doesn't even enter the picture here.
IIRC the three leading cause of divorce are finances, addictions and infidelity. Finances should be negotiated ahead of time, addictions hopefully are known ahead of time and can be avoided and infidelity is where IMO trust comes into play, but again really shouldn't come as a surprise if you really know the person.
It doesn't seem romantic but I know people that have split up and one has lost a lot more financially from the marriage. I know I argue a lot about finances with my husband so it is an important part of a relationship. People can get vindictive especially if one person has cheated.
Pickle Juice
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Well it's a moot point for me too since nobody wants me.
lol, I'm surprised that someone actually wanted me, my wife's a saint for putting up with me for all these years.
yakherder
老外
Meh, everyone is different. My girlfriend makes more money than me and the property we built our house on is in her name, and if we got married and then divorced I'd want her to have most of the assets anyway if for no other reason than because I'd want what's best for our son. I don't have anything I couldn't get again, it's just stuff. Money can be remade and homes rebuilt.
I would not sign a prenup! No way! I just wouldn't get married and/or move in together. You can have a fine relationship and live separately. But when you get married... That's about sharing everything.
Marriage is a commitment! It should be taken seriously. If you don't trust your partner or you don't want to share with them then don't get married!
Marriage is a commitment! It should be taken seriously. If you don't trust your partner or you don't want to share with them then don't get married!
This is what roughly ninety percent of the people in protracted, ugly divorces thought going into the marriage.
Freesia
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I think if you go into the marriage assuming you might want to divorce down the track, and with the suspicion you wont even be able to negotiate anything fair if it does happen, then why bother? Just keep your own seperate houses.
SummerRain
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
I think pre-nups are the wrong answer to the issue that lots of marriages end in divorce. I wouldn't consider going into a marriage with a pre-nup because for me marriage is about living together as a unit and sharing. If for example one partner gives up work to care for their children while the other partner works and earns money which they share, their putting IN as much as the other partner, they are contributing just as much to that household and that relationship - it just isn't financial.
I don't understand why people who would consider a pre-nup wouldn't just live together but not get married anyway - what's the legal benefit to that? What's the personal benefit? That way you get to do everything on your own terms, you can share money/property/etc as much or as little as you wish.
I don't understand why people who would consider a pre-nup wouldn't just live together but not get married anyway - what's the legal benefit to that? What's the personal benefit? That way you get to do everything on your own terms, you can share money/property/etc as much or as little as you wish.
Sure. But going in, and probably throughout most of their marriages, they were just as confident in the health and general wonderfulness of their relationships as you are in yours. People don't realize that they're deluding themselves until suddenly they aren't.
What you guys don't realize is that a prenup isn't about saying "A gets everything and B gets only what s/he brought into the marriage." It's about deciding, upfront, what would be equitable in a variety of situations, and that process really shows whether people are on the same page - for instance, if A is going to be the homemaker, whether A and B value that role equally.
If you can't come to an agreement about such things upfront, then really your relationship isn't very strong or very honest.
No one (well the majority anyway) goes into a marriage assuming they might want to divorce down the track or that if they do they will still be able to negotiate things fairly. I know, I know... realism and romanticism don't mix well with some people but holy crap I think a little realism going into a marriage is a good thing especially as the romanticism wains.
