Omni partner?

[Stained]

Oh no, we don't have meat in the house as he eats veg/vegan food mostly. I wouldn't be able to put up with that either in my own home, although I do feed my dogs and cats meat.

Im so glad you said that.
Im aware that I can be insensitive at times because im naturally detached from opinions and forget that others are not; so im cool with being told that I am behaving inordinately.
I was thinking this was the case,lol.
If my home was vegan (or even MOSTLY) then his behavior would still bother me, but I might be more tolerant for sure.

 

[ledboots]

I think I feel closer to what you are saying here, with the exception that I dont view their lack of compassion as a personal affront to me .... but more as the inability to evolve at the same rate.

Makes me sound as if I am calling them stupid.... but do I pretend I am still in the Matrix so that I can maintain my relationship? or do I move forward because anything less is not truly living?

I guess in the end the one responsible for making you happy is you,which doesnt make this easy.

This in bold. I'm lucky that my son converted both my husband and I pretty much simultaneously about a decade ago.

Since I do most of the cooking, I just cook vegan for everyone, family, guests, whoever. And pat myself on the back when omnis eat one meal at my house--fewer animals killed for that meal anyway.

I don't think you can change an adult if they aren't open to it. You can set up rules, though, like not cooking animal products yourself, no stinky fish in the house, a small separate fridge for animal products, etc.

I've been married 28 years now and do not think I could, should, or would leave my husband if he were omni. Easy for me to say, I guess, I have a vegan kitchen.

 

[Mikkel]

I agree, home is where you want to be comfortable.
Hard to be comfortable when 3 meals a day near you have to include dairy,eggs or meat. In this country anyway.
I think you have something to look forward to Mikkel, since you will be creating a relationship from the start as a vegan....and not have a bunch of history with someone that you have to sort through.
Its great to be single too...so stay happy my friend

I love my single life! It is great. And I'm not giving it up for that many. But no one can predict the future. But I believe there is easier to find a veg*an girl or one that is willing to eat mostly veg*an, than the opposite. And I guess it's also a bit easier when you start new tradition with holidays etc without meat. People seems to be more attached to their meat during the holidays, and men have probably more feelings around their meat too.

 

[Calliegirl]

At this point I wouldn't date anyone who wasn't vegan, although I'm not actually looking for a relationship anyway. I've always dated omni's since I had never met aanother vegan until a few years ago.

The last person I dated was an omni and he would pick places to eat with vegan options and cook vegan meals for me. But, he had no interest in going vegan. He had researched how animals were factory farmed and knew about the torture that goes on in all animals as commodities businesses, and agreed it was horrible, but he still ate meat. I knew then that it would not work for us in the long run. I just couldn't be with someone who lacked compassion.

I know now that I could never be with anyone who isn't vegan. I 'm happier single anyway and don't plan to ever be in a serious relationship again, so I'm not too concerned if I don't meet anyone.

 

[Stained]

This in bold. I'm lucky that my son converted both my husband and I pretty much simultaneously about a decade ago.

Since I do most of the cooking, I just cook vegan for everyone, family, guests, whoever. And pat myself on the back when omnis eat one meal at my house--fewer animals killed for that meal anyway.

I don't think you can change an adult if they aren't open to it. You can set up rules, though, like not cooking animal products yourself, no stinky fish in the house, a small separate fridge for animal products, etc.

I've been married 28 years now and do not think I could, should, or would leave my husband if he were omni. Easy for me to say, I guess, I have a vegan kitchen.

Cool kid you got there,and how many parents would have humored them?
A vegan kitchen would make a difference, but in the long run one has to decide if they want to partner with someone who has completely opposite views, and these arent small views like what color to paint the house or what to watch on tv.

Im pretty certain the people who can stay with an omni partner arent seeing "vegan" through the same perspective....not better or worse but definitely different.

If I view omnis as people who dont know any better, then I imply I am hanging around with people who are not dealing with the full deck that I am.

If I view omnis as people with addictions they choose not to deal with, then I imply I have people to take care of the rest of my life because they are people who are sick.

If I view omnis as people who are fully aware of the violence they partake in, know that they are causing suffering, harm to the environment, harm to their own bodies, can know that mothers are separated from babies for the pleasure of dairy and that baby chicks can be ground alive because they like eggs in the morning ....
if I view them this way, then is there any question as to why leaving them is a healthy option?

Maybe your son could lecture to my family?

 

[SuicideBlonde]

My partner is omni, but loves my vegan cooking because of his hernia. It is better for his stomach and food does not feel stuck. He cooks his own meat l, but eats a lot if vegetarian things when we are out. He respects my values.

 

[Stained]

My partner is omni, but loves my vegan cooking because of his hernia. It is better for his stomach and food does not feel stuck. He cooks his own meat l, but eats a lot if vegetarian things when we are out. He respects my values.

I could be wrong, but it sounds as if you are vegan for health reasons, and maybe not as much for advocacy reasons?
I think maybe the reason people go vegan plays a part in how comfortable they are with non vegans.

 

[RascalsMom]

My fiancé is vegan. I've dated people who ate meat in the past, but not too seriously. I don't think id want to live with someone who eats meat. But veganism is such a big part of who I am - I'm glad I have a partner to share that with.. And my love of dogs and nature!

I'm single now, so this has been something I've been thinking about a lot. My ex actually ate meat behind my back, so he wasn't even vegan.
I want to always live in a vegan home. I don't know. I have a long while to consider it, but I would love to share this important part of me with someone.

 

[SuicideBlonde]

That is crazy.

 

[SuicideBlonde]

TBH, I started to try to be a vegetarian at 13 because the thought of eating parts off animals that I have grossed me out. It stuck at about 15.

 

[SuicideBlonde]

My ex-husband became vegetarian when we were together. Then after I left him he ate meat again. Now, I believe he is vegetarian again.

 

[ledboots]

Cool kid you got there,and how many parents would have humored them?
A vegan kitchen would make a difference, but in the long run one has to decide if they want to partner with someone who has completely opposite views, and these arent small views like what color to paint the house or what to watch on tv.

Im pretty certain the people who can stay with an omni partner arent seeing "vegan" through the same perspective....not better or worse but definitely different.

If I view omnis as people who dont know any better, then I imply I am hanging around with people who are not dealing with the full deck that I am.

If I view omnis as people with addictions they choose not to deal with, then I imply I have people to take care of the rest of my life because they are people who are sick.

If I view omnis as people who are fully aware of the violence they partake in, know that they are causing suffering, harm to the environment, harm to their own bodies, can know that mothers are separated from babies for the pleasure of dairy and that baby chicks can be ground alive because they like eggs in the morning ....
if I view them this way, then is there any question as to why leaving them is a healthy option?

Maybe your son could lecture to my family?

My son can be very convincing! To be honest, he decided to go vegetarian at about 10, and typed up a whole list of reasons, divided into sections: animal cruelty, health, environmental, with references He carried that list in his pocket for when people asked him about being veg.

So of course we cooked lots of vegetarian meals, and it seemed silly to cook another meal just to add meat, and then we became vegetarian and then vegan a year or 2 later.

He is quite convincing, and would probably (at 22 years old now) gladly nag your s.o. about the stupidity of eating animals.

 

[Stained]

My son can be very convincing! To be honest, he decided to go vegetarian at about 10, and typed up a whole list of reasons, divided into sections: animal cruelty, health, environmental, with references He carried that list in his pocket for when people asked him about being veg.

So of course we cooked lots of vegetarian meals, and it seemed silly to cook another meal just to add meat, and then we became vegetarian and then vegan a year or 2 later.

He is quite convincing, and would probably (at 22 years old now) gladly nag your s.o. about the stupidity of eating animals.

Impressive at age 10.

Your story totally made my night.
Big hugs to your clever compassionate son
and hugs to the parents who had the foresight and wisdom to listen.

 

[RascalsMom]

Impressive at age 10.

Your story totally made my night.
Big hugs to your clever compassionate son
and hugs to the parents who had the foresight and wisdom to listen.

This.

 

[FortyTwo]

So be it.

Good thing you have seen The Light, KLS52. Now you are free to restructure your entire life, because after all there's no such thing as compromise on an absolute.

 

[Clueless Git]

Having a relationship and being intimate is not the same thing. It should be but its not.

When we say 'Partner' that does, by common definition, denote that we are talking about the person we have an intimate relationship (of body and mind) with.

I'd agree that you can definitely have a partnership without physical intimacy though.

Thing is that without physical intimacy the intimacy that makes it a partnership would have to be intimacy of mind.

It is the impossibility of true intimacy of mind that rules out non-vegan partners for me.

 

[flyingsnail]

While I don't put much weight into the labels "vegetarian" and "vegan"....if someone is veg for ethical reasons I have trouble understanding how a deep and long-term relationship would work when the two people have divergent views on the matter.

It seems that in mixed relationships, its usually the women that is veg*n. Is there any man here that has a non-veg wife or girlfriend?

 

[Second Summer]

It seems that in mixed relationships, its usually the women that is veg*n. Is there any man here that has a non-veg wife or girlfriend?

I knew a guy who was vegetarian and the wife was not. It didn't last long (the vegetarianism, that is).

 

[Stained]

When we say 'Partner' that does, by common definition, denote that we are talking about the person we have an intimate relationship (of body and mind) with.

I'd agree that you can definitely have a partnership without physical intimacy though.

Thing is that without physical intimacy the intimacy that makes it a partnership would have to be intimacy of mind.

It is the impossibility of true intimacy of mind that rules out non-vegan partners for me.

I hear you.
For me, a partnership that was intimate both physically and mentally that has lost the "intimate" part, is more like a business partnership. Didnt start out that way, but sure feels that way for all intents and purposes.

Its not in my nature to sit and wait for things to go my way, so I inquired here about ways I might push a "yay" or "nay" response from him so that the partnership can be more of what one would envision for the rest of their life.

"Nay" has always come out "Not right now" but if I heard more like "no way,no how" I might be quicker to move on with my life.

As life takes its course and I am getting very involved in my local community, im going to meet people, its going to happen.
I am extremely upfront and want to offer as many chances for a positive outcome as possible I guess.

 

[Stained]

While I don't put much weight into the labels "vegetarian" and "vegan"....if someone is veg for ethical reasons I have trouble understanding how a deep and long-term relationship would work when the two people have divergent views on the matter.

It seems that in mixed relationships, its usually the women that is veg*n. Is there any man here that has a non-veg wife or girlfriend?

Agreed, which is why I may be single in the future.
This is the **** you never see coming when your young and think your on the same page with your partner on so many levels that future challenges dont scare you.

The vegan guys I know are much more picky about the partners they pick than the women.