Losing my temper with non vegans

Anonymous1502

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I keep losing my temper with non vegans their excuses are just downright ridiculous.I have heard ridiculous ones like but I eat halal meat so the animals don't suffer.I used to be a non vegans so I shouldn't judge I guess.But what annoys me the most is vegans/vegetarians who defend people's right to eat meat.I don't understand why anyone would defend someone's right to eat meat if you are morally opposed to it.People will do what they want but it doesn't mean we should approve of it or let them.
 

chickendminus

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It kills me too. I've only been vegan for a few months, but I'm not sure how I'll go back home to my very carnivorous family or friends. Meat and animal products disgust me, and so do the eaters of them.
Even when I wasn't vegan, I never morally justified my eating meat. I knew damn well I couldn't, rather it was just a habitual thing, and I didn't know how to eat vegan in a nutritionally adequate way. I knew a year or so before actually becoming vegan that I wouldn't be able to raise my kids eating meat/animal products, so I would have to myself make the transition.
It absolutely PAINS me when someone tries to justify their meat eating to me... you can always tell how much they struggle to, its like really? If you have so much trouble justifying something, uhh.. maybe its unjustifiable? If people have the exposure/education/resources to, they should be vegan. Nuff said.
Hopefully someone in this forum will bless us with some advice on how to be patient with nonvegans.
 

Anonymous1502

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It kills me too. I've only been vegan for a few months, but I'm not sure how I'll go back home to my very carnivorous family or friends. Meat and animal products disgust me, and so do the eaters of them.
Even when I wasn't vegan, I never morally justified my eating meat. I knew damn well I couldn't, rather it was just a habitual thing, and I didn't know how to eat vegan in a nutritionally adequate way. I knew a year or so before actually becoming vegan that I wouldn't be able to raise my kids eating meat/animal products, so I would have to myself make the transition.
It absolutely PAINS me when someone tries to justify their meat eating to me... you can always tell how much they struggle to, its like really? If you have so much trouble justifying something, uhh.. maybe its unjustifiable? If people have the exposure/education/resources to, they should be vegan. Nuff said.
Hopefully someone in this forum will bless us with some advice on how to be patient with nonvegans.
I am also really worried about going on holidays to see my family as they are all non vegans and they live in a village so there won't be any vegan alternatives and I would have to go to town for free from options.However I am not even sure what the vegan scene looks like in my home country or whether the items are expensive or not.I don't want to be an inconvenience however the lives of the animals are very important to me and I don't want to consume animal products just to make the cooking easier for them.
 

Lou

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@chickendminus and @Anonymous1502

You guys are what us Ol' timers call Young 'uns.
Take my word for it. it gets easier.
But it's natural and even good for you guys to want to change the world. It's just a little unrealistic to think you are going to succeed today.

One thing to keep in mind is that veganism is not only about ending animal exploitation. Its also about increasing the amount of compassion. And we can express that compassion in many ways. Including being nice(r) to nonvegans.

My favorite personal anecdote is that for years I visited my mom just once a year (she lived 3000 miles away) on her birthday. For years and years, I wasn't vegan. But as she got older she would mix me and my brother up. One year she announced she made my very favorite dinner: veal scallopini. She was very proud of her cooking and that she remembered my favorite dinner. I had been vegan (and she had been told over and over) for over 5 years. and the dish was my brother's favorite. (she saw him every week).

And of course, I ate it. Not eating it would not have benefited the poor dead calf. and why would I ever disappoint my mom? Now I realize this is sort of a special and maybe even an extreme case. but really.

She has been dead for many years now. And there are many things I regret about our relationship. but not that dinner.

Keep in mind that you need to be more compassionate - and not just for the poor animals.
But to people and even to yourselves.

-----

oh, and here for homework is my favorite article about dealing with your feelings. I like it a lot. It's sort of about not becoming a militant vegan and becoming a joyful vegan. Hope it helps.

 

Anonymous1502

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@chickendminus and @Anonymous1502

You guys are what us Ol' timers call Young 'uns.
Take my word for it. it gets easier.
But it's natural and even good for you guys to want to change the world. It's just a little unrealistic to think you are going to succeed today.

One thing to keep in mind is that veganism is not only about ending animal exploitation. Its also about increasing the amount of compassion. And we can express that compassion in many ways. Including being nice(r) to nonvegans.

My favorite personal anecdote is that for years I visited my mom just once a year (she lived 3000 miles away) on her birthday. For years and years, I wasn't vegan. But as she got older she would mix me and my brother up. One year she announced she made my very favorite dinner: veal scallopini. She was very proud of her cooking and that she remembered my favorite dinner. I had been vegan (and she had been told over and over) for over 5 years. and the dish was my brother's favorite. (she saw him every week).

And of course, I ate it. Not eating it would not have benefited the poor dead calf. and why would I ever disappoint my mom? Now I realize this is sort of a special and maybe even an extreme case. but really.

She has been dead for many years now. And there are many things I regret about our relationship. but not that dinner.

Keep in mind that you need to be more compassionate - and not just for the poor animals.
But to people and even to yourselves.

-----

oh, and here for homework is my favorite article about dealing with your feelings. I like it a lot. It's sort of about not becoming a militant vegan and becoming a joyful vegan. Hope it helps.

Thank you very much for your reply.I agree veganism isn't about perfection but about the reduction of harm.
 
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Sax

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You need to be confident and comfortable in your veganism independent of anyone's agreement or validation. Make your argument for veganism if it seems an appropriate situation, but don't get emotionally invested in the way they receive it. They have a right to respond to your arguments anyway they feel, even if it's illogical or defensive.

Trying to force someone to see things your way is almost never effective and usually counterproductive....particularly when you're asking someone to rethink their lifelong habits or exposing a contradiction in their values.

Be a happy, healthy, friendly representative of veganism and people won't feel threatened or defensive, and will be more likely to consider the way their actions contradict their values.

When it comes to activism and trying to provoke a societal debate about the ethics of animal products I think being loud and angry and using in-your-face tactics can be pretty effective...but those actions are aimed at wide audiences, not individuals, and I think that makes a big difference. In one-on-one interactions I try to keep things from getting heated or forcing people too far out of their comfort zone.

My hope is to make people understand my reasons for being vegan, not to make them agree...that part is totally out of my control.
 

Nekodaiden

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I keep losing my temper with non vegans their excuses are just downright ridiculous.I have heard ridiculous ones like but I eat halal meat so the animals don't suffer.I used to be a non vegans so I shouldn't judge I guess.But what annoys me the most is vegans/vegetarians who defend people's right to eat meat.I don't understand why anyone would defend someone's right to eat meat if you are morally opposed to it.People will do what they want but it doesn't mean we should approve of it or let them.

By all means, don't approve, but a slippery slope is reached when the idea of force is introduced (ie: not "letting them").

One of the problems with force is that it's not only not effective, but pushed people tend to push back. Now I can't imagine
a scenario (now) that would force an individual to eat animal products - but I can certainly imagine scenarios where
vegans are discriminated against - simply for being one and not for anything they have done.

This has already happened. Both by meat eaters and Vegans. A woman in the UK applying for a loan was discriminated against
because the loan officer felt "pressured" by vegans (in general, not her in particular) and it came out in the conversation that she was one.

A house owner renting out their house in Australia has advertised it as only rent-able to vegans.

These are both discrimination and it shouldn't happen.


Aggressive vegans trying to force anything can backfire big time for other vegans. It's not only ineffective it's counterproductive and harmful.
 
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Jai

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From the perspective of someone who is very much a "newbie", only starting to act upon this niggling discomfort I've carried around for years, I will say this:

When I started 'surfing' the web for some more information, shared experiences etc, ALL I seemed to encounter was what I would call "Angry Vegans". For many people, this would be enough to stop investigating the pro's/con's/facts/fallacies and most people will not be persuaded to consider something when it's delivered before them in an abrasive tone.

It was almost two weeks before I encountered a rational, reasoned spokesperson on social media (well, YouTube) who approached 'public education' of the deplorable ethical & environmental flaws of carnivorous diets to the public, in a non-condescending way.

Now, I'm beyond an age where I'm swayed too much by social media 'ambassadors' to any given cause, and I was already on the way to where I am in this moment. But so many younger people ARE swayed by "influencers" and conversely put off things by those same people.

So I would suggest that the "militant" conversational style of some overly-passiinate vegans when talking with non-vegans needs to be stopped. Redirect the energy into something like that VA/Cube Movement, where the founder lays out very clear rules of engagement (which to summarise, is basically 'stay cool, level headed and reapectful'.

As the old adage goes... "You catch more flies with honey...."




*Not that I'm condoning the trapping of flies, nor the use of honey. ;)
 

VeggieTerrian

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I completely get where you are coming from. I have a TON of empathy, love and compassion for animals especially. Yet no one is perfect. I am vegan for moral reasons. However, is every action you take always moral? Maybe I am vegan but I use plastic bags, would rather drive alone than carpool, purchase fast-fashion clothes, buy electronics where workers were mistreated in a factory. It's not good to be judgmental of others. Respectfully educate them on where you take issue. I do get frustrated though that a good amount people don't seem to think about any of the previous mentioned things, or worse they just don't care. Also it does seem people get annoyed with anyone who does try to change or improve. Which is super frustrating.
 
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