I was told I am an idiot today.

[Hog]

A friend pressured me to say why I was vegan today. I said that from my experience, eating meat and dairy never seems to work out well for the animal. I also said I have seen too many working farms to believe otherwise.

My friend told me that vegans are pushy and ignorant. He said that milking cows does not hurt the animal. He also recommended drinking certified humane organic milk.

I really was not interested in changing his mind. I even paid for his non-vegan lunch.

He ended the conversation by hollering "F. Y." in front of everyone at the food court in the mall. He did not even touch his plate of chicken at the mall. He simply walked away from us without touching his food.

I think the guy is prejudiced against vegans. Am I correct?

I know the guy is going through very difficult times. Still, I do not see the big deal about me not eating animal products.

The guy even suggested that I am not a real vegan because I am 30 pounds overweight. He said that vegans are always skinny.

 

[shyvas]

I'd drop him as he's not a friend.

 

[Emma JC]

Friend?? hmmm I think not

Emma JC

 

[thinman]

I've encounter hostility being vegan, a you don't have to respond to certain people and just don't say anything.

 

[Lou]

I've only experienced overt hostility online.

 

[Hog]

Thank you very much for your responses.

I do not intend to degrade my friend. But, I think he should visit a psychiatric hospital. Due to his undiagnosed mental illness, I will not hold him accountable for his actions.

He just sent me a text that says he does not want to see me for another three months. Maybe things will be better then.

 

[Danielle]

You're paying for his meal and he's acting like that? Wow.
You can defiantly gain weight as a vegan, I have.

 

[thinman]

I just chalk it up to ignorance when anti-vegans don't see or realize the reality of whats happening, many are not awake.

 

[beancounter]

Well, some vegans can be as annoying and pushy as those religious people who knock on doors, or scream on street corners.

That being said, meat consumption has been "hard coded" into a lot of societies as the norm. Many people have traditions and good memories surrounding meat, as well as 97% of society reinforcing their dietary choice 24/7.

It's a hard nut to crack. I just don't bother mentioning it anymore.

 

[silva]

Well, some vegans can be as annoying and pushy as those religious people who knock on doors, or scream on street corners.

That being said, meat consumption has been "hard coded" into a lot of societies as the norm. Many people have traditions and good memories surrounding meat, as well as 97% of society reinforcing their dietary choice 24/7.

It's a hard nut to crack. I just don't bother mentioning it anymore.

Sure I've run across pushy vegans and regilious folks, but no where near the degree of annoyance and in your face as omnis! Most every ad for food shows it, every restaurant, every buffet, every get together. Just mention not having meat at an event and they go crazy, it's not acknowledged because they rarely get the opportunity to display their arrogance-until a vegan shows up.

I would not think to keep this friendship without an apology

 

[Val]

Thank you very much for your responses.

I do not intend to degrade my friend. But, I think he should visit a psychiatric hospital. Due to his undiagnosed mental illness, I will not hold him accountable for his actions.

He just sent me a text that says he does not want to see me for another three months. Maybe things will be better then.

Geez... What a bad case... All that you described above, can point at slight bipolar disorder in your "friend". I saw a few individuals who had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and their behaviour somewhat matched the symptoms that you described. However, it's impossible to tell with accuracy, because there is very little info about his escapades. But the only thing that became clear to me is that your friend needs professional help (not sure of which kind), and he needs to be left alone: IF he's bipolar, he will simply calm down,- not because he forgets, but because his perception of the fight(s) with you will change with time.

 

[Jamie in Chile]

Sorry you had to go through that. I'd be tempted to drop him as well. Of course, it might be different if he apologizes. I would ask him to meet up and discuss what happens. If he refuses, and won't apologise, I would drop him. The other thing I would be wary of is he tries to come back into your life three months later and acts as if nothing has happened and doesn't address it. That is a good sign that you should drop him.

 

[Lou]

Saw a good test for friendship the other day.
Would you like to have two beers with the person?
Would you let him take care of your puppy?

There are beer people. there are puppy people. Real friends are beer/puppy people.

The ‘2 Beers and a Puppy’ Test Is My Greatest Contribution to the World

If I’m remembered for anything, it’ll probably be a piece of advice that occasionally and randomly goes viral called “two beers and a…

forge.medium.com

 

[Forest Nymph]

I honestly don't care what people like that think. They're just projecting their own brainwashing-since-birth ignorance on to you. There is no deeper ideology than a person who never questions what they were taught from childhood onward. This describes most anti-vegans. I will hesitate to say it describes most meat eaters, because some are flexitarian or pescatarian or avoid red meat for environmental or health reasons.

Cultures and societies which bond over the bodies of dead animals on every religious holiday and celebration tend to psychologically feel like "something is missing" if there is not a dead body present. Specifically, dead bodies. They don't even feel "complete" with lacto-ovo vegetarian meals that contain cheese or eggs. That is pretty much the marker of a ritualistic, fanatical religion and is NOT intrinsic to every human society on the planet.

So you can take comfort in that I guess. You seem like a very nice person. I wouldn't have paid for his non-vegan meal, I probably would thrown my drink in his face.

 

[Forest Nymph]

Sure I've run across pushy vegans and regilious folks, but no where near the degree of annoyance and in your face as omnis! Most every ad for food shows it, every restaurant, every buffet, every get together. Just mention not having meat at an event and they go crazy, it's not acknowledged because they rarely get the opportunity to display their arrogance-until a vegan shows up.

I would not think to keep this friendship without an apology

I have experienced the fanaticism of meat eaters for my entire life. People who make fun of someone for ordering the mainstream, fast food plain cheese or "veggie supreme" pizza, not even to mention (or think!) of something vegan-friendly. Outright bullying of people who won't participate in carnage, even humbly or quietly.

I know some people think it's shocking to compare it to racism, sexism, or religious-intolerance, BUT IT IS.

I mean, look at some of the vegans on this forum. "Oh I don't bring it up" and "I don't like those preachy vegans" when there's literally less than 2 million vegans in a world of more than 7 billion people. What kind of ineffective, Stockholm Syndrome crap is that? OF COURSE some vegans are very assertive or preachy. They'd be washed away in a giant wave of animal violence if there were not loud or uncompromising vegans.

In feminist communities, women who talk that way about feminists are referred to as having "internalized sexism" and ditto for POC with "internalized racism." People who are so terrified of rocking the boat or taking up space that they'd do anything to enable the status quo.

People also call Black Lives Matter a cult or religion for speaking up for the basic human rights of African-Americans. I mean, really. Most of those people just don't want white supremacy challenged, or their own comfortable bubble of ignorance.

It doesn't sound to me like the OP is even an assertive activist. I mean, paying for a non-vegan meal? That's very passive. And this person yelled at them and insulted them? I think the passivity just invites more of this nonsense. I've read analysis of conservative traditionalists, particularly in American culture, and one of the shocking trademarks is a near-inability to understand human interaction beyond dominance and submission. That's why so many of their pundits scream and yell and call people names. Ergo, the only way to get across to these people is to not be passive and to behave basically like one of their pundits. To dominate them. Otherwise they dominate you, much like the OPs "friend" did to him. That was a blatant act of dominance. That's how people behave in domestic violence situations. It's a blatant attempt to bully the other party into confusion and/or fear, and therefore submission. Gaslighting them into asking, "what did I do wrong?" When the answer is "nothing."

Ritualistic bonding over dead animal bodies is absolutely like a religion. An extremely fanatical and dangerous one.

 

[Veganite]

As they say, with friends like that, who needs enemies?

And I too am not a skinny vegan. I love food too much to be skinny. I honestly don't eat much unhealthy vegan foods, processed or otherwise, but I do manage to keep on a few extra pounds. That said, I am hardly fat...just pleasantly plump, and hope to stay that way. lol


*

 

[shyvas]

It doesn't sound to me like the OP is even an assertive activist. I mean, paying for a non-vegan meal? That's very passive. And this person yelled at them and insulted them? I think the passivity just invites more of this nonsense. I've read analysis of conservative traditionalists, particularly in American culture, and one of the shocking trademarks is a near-inability to understand human interaction beyond dominance and submission. That's why so many of their pundits scream and yell and call people names. Ergo, the only way to get across to these people is to not be passive and to behave basically like one of their pundits. To dominate them. Otherwise they dominate you, much like the OPs "friend" did to him.

I totally disagree with the above statement. If you have to deal with a pushy domineering individual, assertiveness is the key. Relationships are not about who is going to dominate the other.

Being assertive and knowing how to handle a bully is showing confidence and certainly not screaming at them. Being able to communicate in a respectful manner and not putting the other person down shows a strength of character. Yelling back is just copying the person who is behaving like a jerk.

This conversation reminds me of a neighbour who lives in my residence. Her theory was that you should just scream back at someone who is yelling at you but in a louder manner.

 

[beforewisdom]

When asked that question I always say "it is a personal choice".

Most people will take the hint.

Eons ago at a company dinner someone pushed. I gave in ( I wouldn't these days, I would keep evading ), and the woman got angry.

Delightfully someone stepped up to my defense and said "You asked him".

 

[beancounter]

I have experienced the fanaticism of meat eaters for my entire life. People who make fun of someone for ordering the mainstream, fast food plain cheese or "veggie supreme" pizza, not even to mention (or think!) of something vegan-friendly. Outright bullying of people who won't participate in carnage, even humbly or quietly.

I know some people think it's shocking to compare it to racism, sexism, or religious-intolerance, BUT IT IS.

I mean, look at some of the vegans on this forum. "Oh I don't bring it up" and "I don't like those preachy vegans" when there's literally less than 2 million vegans in a world of more than 7 billion people. What kind of ineffective, Stockholm Syndrome crap is that? OF COURSE some vegans are very assertive or preachy. They'd be washed away in a giant wave of animal violence if there were not loud or uncompromising vegans.

In feminist communities, women who talk that way about feminists are referred to as having "internalized sexism" and ditto for POC with "internalized racism." People who are so terrified of rocking the boat or taking up space that they'd do anything to enable the status quo.

People also call Black Lives Matter a cult or religion for speaking up for the basic human rights of African-Americans. I mean, really. Most of those people just don't want white supremacy challenged, or their own comfortable bubble of ignorance.

It doesn't sound to me like the OP is even an assertive activist. I mean, paying for a non-vegan meal? That's very passive. And this person yelled at them and insulted them? I think the passivity just invites more of this nonsense. I've read analysis of conservative traditionalists, particularly in American culture, and one of the shocking trademarks is a near-inability to understand human interaction beyond dominance and submission. That's why so many of their pundits scream and yell and call people names. Ergo, the only way to get across to these people is to not be passive and to behave basically like one of their pundits. To dominate them. Otherwise they dominate you, much like the OPs "friend" did to him. That was a blatant act of dominance. That's how people behave in domestic violence situations. It's a blatant attempt to bully the other party into confusion and/or fear, and therefore submission. Gaslighting them into asking, "what did I do wrong?" When the answer is "nothing."

Ritualistic bonding over dead animal bodies is absolutely like a religion. An extremely fanatical and dangerous one.

Some people just want to live their lives, and have no interest in activism.

I've never heard of BLM being compared to a cult or a religion. Typically, people opposed to them will refer to them as "terrorist".

 

[Lou]

I've never heard of BLM being compared to a cult or a religion. Typically, people opposed to them will refer to them as "terrorist".

or "rioters".