How do you deal with ex-vegans?

[Mufflon]

A lot of people love it...

Until people suffer from negative side-effects, are tired of the restrictive food choices and/or the next fad diet hype comes around.

Low-fat, low-carb, paleo, fruitarianism, macrobiotics, raw vegan, 80-10-10, keto, clean30, carnivore... some people have done it all.

 

[Rory17]

This question keeps bothering me.

I really don't want to sound too negative or hurtful, but former vegans usually make me annoyed - because for me, veganism is more than something I'd temporarily put on.
I would not say "it's a lifelong engagement", because I don't even feel I've been engaged into anything. I just think this is what should be the norm. Not hurting animals. Not keeping them in captivity. Not exploiting them in any way. Not killing them when they aren't profitable any more. Not thinking our 10 minutes of enjoyment worth more than an animal's life of 8 weeks.

Now, I am trying my best to be careful and avoid rudeness, but I admit I can get really impatient when people give up veganism and use the cheapest excuses you could think of. I really don't know what to do.
I think you guys have heard many of these excuses.
Symptoms of deficiency - because taking the efforts to plan a really good vegan diet and doing some research about necessary supplements would be too demanding; claiming "this is just not for me" and using their blood group or Zodiac sign or MBTI personality type or anything in that direction to justify their quitting veganism; or doing the usual mental gymnastic by stating "there are many better ways of showing compassion to animals than not killing them", or "I go back to eating meat, eggs and dairy but I always, always buy from eco-bio shiny-happy rainbow farms where the animals are literally cuddled to death" and so on.

What annoys me most - I wonder if it's appropriate to mention it here? - is when people first announce their going vegan on social media, they tend to be vegan activists for a while, then they post about how they're not vegan anymore and give a detailed explanation on why they are no longer vegans.
This latter always makes me a bit sceptical or suspicious. Why do they feel the need of explaining themselves? Maybe they have some bad conscience about their decision and try to justify it to their followers?

The other thing I don't quite get is how "being a former vegan" might be the part of some people's identity. A cattle breeder calling themselves an "ex-vegan animal scientist" and the like. Sorry what? I don't find identifying myself as an "ex-carnist, ex-speciesist" necessary.

Yes I used to eat meat. Yes I used to be a vegetarian who believed giving up eating corpses was enough.
(Oh yes, I saw the very same when going vegetarian was a temporary trend.
I heard people say "I used to be a vegetarian but now I am back to eating meat because my SO needs meat", or - my ultimate favourite - "I used to be a vegetarian but later, at the cooking school, we had to taste everything".
My standard excuse for quitting vegetarianism is still "I used to be a vegetarian too but I recognized going vegan was the very best thing I could do.")

But I don't think what I used to be would define what I am - as of to-day.
Could somebody please explain to me how being an ex-something gives you an identity?

Sorry if this turned out to be an inconsistent rant. I hope I didn't violate any community rules, but I really need some advice on how not to get angry, what to do when you feel incredibly sad about this tendency, and how to react in a way that's not hurtful?

I think it’s important to remember that, while it still doesn’t make it justified, some people do actually at least think they have good reasons for not being vegan anymore. For example, rather than just the usual “being vegan made me ill” touted by someone not researching and following good vegan nutrition advice, someone might genuinely develop or deteriorate with a health issue/s that actually does make being vegan much more difficult, if not impossible, to be healthy with, and they may have to go back to being veggie or even eating meat again because it would be insanely difficult or even impossible for them to be vegan and not get very sick/die young. Like I said, this doesn’t make it justified, but supporting someone’s choices/actions and just understanding and respecting the choices for the reasons why they made those choices are different. Also, you can love the sinner without loving the sin. Whether you agree with someone or their behaviour or not, no matter how passionately opposed to someone’s choices you may be, I believe it’s important to still be kind, civil, compassionate and understanding towards them as a sentient being and to their issues. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very important to promote veganism and help animals and the planet, but it’s also important to be kind to those who are not vegan, especially if they have fallen on hard times with their mental/physical health.
For another example, I used to be vegan, and I keep trying. When I am vegan, I can be a very passionate vegan. I even started writing a book called “Why You Should Go Vegan”! However, I have also developed binge eating disorder and also OCD, which, combined, make it insanely difficult to go vegan and stay vegan, so I am mostly just veggie at the moment.
The best way to deal with them and get them to go vegan is to be kind, compassionate, positive, polite and civil to them, answering their questions and concerns in helpful, compassionate, understanding and kind ways, kindly supporting them to go vegan again, or to find ways in which they can go vegan again.

 

[Mufflon]

I sometimes wonder how many ex-vegans just ate a vegan diet.

 

[VeganRachel]

Until people suffer from negative side-effects, are tired of the restrictive food choices and/or the next fad diet hype comes around.

Low-fat, low-carb, paleo, fruitarianism, macrobiotics, raw vegan, 80-10-10, keto, clean30, carnivore... some people have done it all.

Yes, some have tried several "diets", although vegan is not a diet. There is one couple on youtub who are carnivores.
He was vegan and then went in the opposite direction.
If someone has severe food allergies they need to find food that works for them. I would try "organic" and avoid pesticides
and other contaminants in plant foods, maybe gluten free.
However, humans who eat animals are feeding off the plants the animals ate, plus their hormones, adrenaline, and stress
hotmones which act like a stimulating drug in our body. I would say carni's are addicts. Plants do not have that same effect.

 

[VeganRachel]

I think it’s important to remember that, while it still doesn’t make it justified, some people do actually at least think they have good reasons for not being vegan anymore. For example, rather than just the usual “being vegan made me ill” touted by someone not researching and following good vegan nutrition advice, someone might genuinely develop or deteriorate with a health issue/s that actually does make being vegan much more difficult, if not impossible, to be healthy with, and they may have to go back to being veggie or even eating meat again because it would be insanely difficult or even impossible for them to be vegan and not get very sick/die young. Like I said, this doesn’t make it justified, but supporting someone’s choices/actions and just understanding and respecting the choices for the reasons why they made those choices are different. Also, you can love the sinner without loving the sin. Whether you agree with someone or their behaviour or not, no matter how passionately opposed to someone’s choices you may be, I believe it’s important to still be kind, civil, compassionate and understanding towards them as a sentient being and to their issues. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very important to promote veganism and help animals and the planet, but it’s also important to be kind to those who are not vegan, especially if they have fallen on hard times with their mental/physical health.
For another example, I used to be vegan, and I keep trying. When I am vegan, I can be a very passionate vegan. I even started writing a book called “Why You Should Go Vegan”! However, I have also developed binge eating disorder and also OCD, which, combined, make it insanely difficult to go vegan and stay vegan, so I am mostly just veggie at the moment.
The best way to deal with them and get them to go vegan is to be kind, compassionate, positive, polite and civil to them, answering their questions and concerns in helpful, compassionate, understanding and kind ways, kindly supporting them to go vegan again, or to find ways in which they can go vegan again.

I do believe most "vegans" do not do their homework before they start and during their vegan journey. Many "ex" vegans report they had this
or that health problem. Yet, did they go see a qualified nutritionist and get bloodwork done?. Did they take a look at what they were choosing
to eat and learn they were 'missing' nutrients? Just because we "like" what we are eating does not equal a balanced food regimen. did they try chronometer?. I believe the MAIN reason for ex's is that homework issue, poor food choices, plus they started to feel different and socially isolated.

 

[VeganRachel]

Yes, you're saying something here. Trying something out is not the same as being involved. You can go to metal shows and look like an appropriate metalhead, but if the music does not touch you, this will be just a phase for you, and calling yourself a "former metalhead" will not make you very popular.

I do agree with this friend of yours. If somebody is really vegan, they'll stay vegan for a lifetime. There might occur situations when they have no other choice than having something non-vegan (medicine, hygiene products, or if there's really that lack of food choices... whatsoever), but as soon as it's possible, they are going to switch back to vegan options.

Me vegan for 35 years now. I believe in making a commitment. However, I have seen vegans who switched back after 10, 15,
or even 20 years so it is not malnutrition at that point. It takes a strong human to be vegan and swim upstream...