Fighting with my sister

[Thundergleep]

Rant...

My sister lives with me and my family (husband and son). My family is vegan, my sister is loosely vegetarian.

So tonight I was making a grocery order. I told her I was ordering her cows milk, but that I was also ordering Ripple for her because she liked that one. She then said that was fine, but that she was afraid to stop ordering cows milk because she was concerned that if it wasn't in the fridge all the time I would start "forbidding" it.

This didn't go over well. Of course I HATE that there's cows milk in my fridge! So the argument escalated. Basically, I've been Plant-Based for over 5 years now, but I just recently became fully vegan. And being Plant-Based is very non-confrontational. Being vegan is not.

Being vegan means I'm "one of those people" that thinks a ham on the table is equivalent to a dead child. It means I think I'm better than other people.

And all I could really say was "all I wish is that you cared more." I wish that she cared more about not torturing animals then she cared about this slight difference in texture in plant milk. That she cared more about the planet then to support an industry that's disrupting it.

But, of course, that was her point. Being "that kind of vegan" means I look down on people that know better and still choose to do harm. That I think the're morally wrong, and I am right. That they are doing something cruel and evil, and I'm "better" than other people.

And I do believe I'm better for it.

That's why I do it. Because I want to be the change I want to see in the world. Because I want to do as little harm as possible. Because I want to help the planet regrow. Because I do care. A lot.

I'm not going to pretend that doing harm and not doing harm are equal. I'm not going to pretend that the torture and slaughter of animals is a human right. And I'm not going to exclude myself as "the weird one" for choosing to opt out of cruelty. I'm not going to be afraid to be "one of those vegan people" anymore, because being Plant-Based is easier.

I'm proud to be "one of those vegan people."
I'm proud to care.
I'm proud of what I've become.

And I am better for it.

 

[Blues]

If it worries your sister that much about the milk , tell her to buy a mini bar fridge .

 

[Lou]

That's why I do it. Because I want to be the change I want to see in the world. Because I want to do as little harm as possible. Because I want to help the planet regrow. Because I do care. A lot.

 

[Thundergleep]

If it worries your sister that much about the milk , tell her to buy a mini bar fridge .

Haha, we've talked about it before.

 

[Thundergleep]

Thank you.

 

[Sproutskies]

Rant...

My sister lives with me and my family (husband and son). My family is vegan, my sister is loosely vegetarian.

So tonight I was making a grocery order. I told her I was ordering her cows milk, but that I was also ordering Ripple for her because she liked that one. She then said that was fine, but that she was afraid to stop ordering cows milk because she was concerned that if it wasn't in the fridge all the time I would start "forbidding" it.

This didn't go over well. Of course I HATE that there's cows milk in my fridge! So the argument escalated. Basically, I've been Plant-Based for over 5 years now, but I just recently became fully vegan. And being Plant-Based is very non-confrontational. Being vegan is not.

Being vegan means I'm "one of those people" that thinks a ham on the table is equivalent to a dead child. It means I think I'm better than other people.

And all I could really say was "all I wish is that you cared more." I wish that she cared more about not torturing animals then she cared about this slight difference in texture in plant milk. That she cared more about the planet then to support an industry that's disrupting it.

But, of course, that was her point. Being "that kind of vegan" means I look down on people that know better and still choose to do harm. That I think the're morally wrong, and I am right. That they are doing something cruel and evil, and I'm "better" than other people.

And I do believe I'm better for it.

That's why I do it. Because I want to be the change I want to see in the world. Because I want to do as little harm as possible. Because I want to help the planet regrow. Because I do care. A lot.

I'm not going to pretend that doing harm and not doing harm are equal. I'm not going to pretend that the torture and slaughter of animals is a human right. And I'm not going to exclude myself as "the weird one" for choosing to opt out of cruelty. I'm not going to be afraid to be "one of those vegan people" anymore, because being Plant-Based is easier.

I'm proud to be "one of those vegan people."
I'm proud to care.
I'm proud of what I've become.

And I am better for it.

You might really hate this response.. but in terms of moral high ground or arguing on a plane of right and wrong I tend to side with that it will just alienate yourself if you go after a meat lover with the deeper truths. As someone who was guilty to begin with for eating so much animal flesh, it would have reinforced my bad habits if someone was introducing the lifestyle as a guilt trip. Wielding the idea that "I am better than you" is not a justification to treat people in the Matrix with shame and morality. IT NEVER WORKS TO INFLUENCE PEOPLE.

Usually mentioning the health benefits and talking about the positives in my own life will occasionally get my meat-eating friends excited about what I am doing. Fueling more arguments whether you are correct or not is clearly what adds more kindling to the hate that we already get on a regular basis.

Why not go the route of love and acceptance and have a better chance of getting those people who "know better" to choose for themselves in the right direction?

When a parent teaches their kid something from a place of control and "you must".. the child will always rebel. Same with everyone else. Human psychology for child-like adults are not that different.

 

[Thundergleep]

You might really hate this response.. but in terms of moral high ground or arguing on a plane of right and wrong I tend to side with that it will just alienate yourself if you go after a meat lover with the deeper truths. As someone who was guilty to begin with for eating so much animal flesh, it would have reinforced my bad habits if someone was introducing the lifestyle as a guilt trip. Wielding the idea that "I am better than you" is not a justification to treat people in the Matrix with shame and morality. IT NEVER WORKS TO INFLUENCE PEOPLE.

Usually mentioning the health benefits and talking about the positives in my own life will occasionally get my meat-eating friends excited about what I am doing. Fueling more arguments whether you are correct or not is clearly what adds more kindling to the hate that we already get on a regular basis.

Why not go the route of love and acceptance and have a better chance of getting those people who "know better" to choose for themselves in the right direction?

When a parent teaches their kid something from a place of control and "you must".. the child will always rebel. Same with everyone else. Human psychology for child-like adults are not that different.

I completely agree. I guess that's why the argument was so hard on me. My sister and I have always lived together, and I started my plant-based health journey over 5 years ago. We've had many many conversations about health, as well as environmental impacts. The conversation on morality is what's new.

The thing is my sister is NOT a foodie. She studies literature and language constantly and is generally annoyed by hunger distracting her from her work. In turn, she also doesn't enjoy talking about food or food studies. She would rather eat a Pop Tart because it's fast then worry about health implications. Really she wants to be an android and not have a body at all, because bodies are gross and talking about thier functions is super gross.

Nevertheless, I hate that after all this time she still defends meat eaters (even though she doesn't really eat meat). Even from a healthy prospective she always says "people have been eating meat thought history and therefore it can't be that bad as long as you don't eat too much," which is inarguably true. But what we do nowadays is so much different then history.

Anyway, it's fine. I need to get over it. My relationship with my sister is very important to me, and I don't want to alienate myself. It's just hard because she's so important to me, and I know she knows better, but after 5 years of trying to gently convinced her to switch, she officially refused to.

Maybe one day. But not today.

 

[Thundergleep]

Good news! My sister still doesn't identify as vegan or anything, but I bought her Not Milk to try and she loves it!

 

[Danielle]

I wonder how it cooks. The worst part of moving from dairy to non-dairy is the non-dairy is thinner and doesn't cook as well. If it's for drinking then it's fine.

 

[Thundergleep]

I wonder how it cooks. The worst part of moving from dairy to non-dairy is the non-dairy is thinner and doesn't cook as well. If it's for drinking then it's fine.

My sister doesn't cook, lol. She puts milk in her tea and on cereal occasionally. I buy pretty creamy plant milk (silk soy or protein nut milk) which cooks up just fine. I also buy Nutpods boxes specifically for cooking because they're super creamy like heavy cream.

 

[silva]

My son likes oatmilk for cereal, so I now have that sometimes, or add to oats instead of water
Chobani makes an extra creamy oatmilk that is incredible for cooking. It's not sweetened. Great for pasta sauces, or desserts-what I used to make cashew creme for