Emotional Support Please

[Rory17]

Hello ,
I am a 24 year-old female. I am Autistic and I have anxiety.
I went vegetarian at 13 and vegan (with exceptions!) at 20. I then went back to vegetarian fairly recently. I so, so want to go back to vegan again, but we are currently away on holiday in Lanzarote (in the Canary Islands , Spain ). Several weeks back, I made some dedications to Kuan Yin (my deity, I am a Buddhist), dedicating my life to self-care, compassion and to the dharma (Buddhism). I so, so, so want to go vegan, but I also don’t want to spoil my enjoyment of my holiday. I love cheese. I am anxious about this. I am also anxious that I can’t be dedicated to compassion if I’m not vegan, even this is extremely important to me and I want so, so, so, so, so, so much to stick to my dedications. I have the idea of waiting until I get back to go vegan, but (at least, in a way), I want to do it now...
Please help.
Best Wishes to all,
Rory.
Have the best day and night ever!

 

[David3]

Namo Guan Shi Yin Pusa. The Canary Islands have 5 vegan restaurants: https://www.happycow.net/europe/spain/canary_islands/gran_canaria/?filters=vegan . They might serve vegan cheese, and they might know where to buy vegan cheese.
.

 

[KLS52]

Yikes...I’m not sure I’m the right person to give you advice. I feel for your situation and the conflict you are feeling. Part of me wants to say be strong, you can do it but the other part senses your distress and wants to say just wait till your holiday is over.
Hopefully what David3 posted will be helpful in helping you stay the course. Best of luck to you.

 

[Urban Gardener]

I like the idea of starting with the local vegan restaurants.

As for cheese, could you cut back by swapping it with something else? High calorie, high protein, salty, umami vegan foods?

A good quality tamari (soy sauce) can be a great source of that salty umami flavor. Salted nuts can also be good. Try keeping a bag of nuts with you and snacking on them when you crave cheese. Or put out a bowl of tamari or a dip made with it and dip snacks in it. Hummus is another good one. And vegan pesto.

 

[David3]

I like the idea of starting with the local vegan restaurants.

As for cheese, could you cut back by swapping it with something else? High calorie, high protein, salty, umami vegan foods?

A good quality tamari (soy sauce) can be a great source of that salty umami flavor. Salted nuts can also be good. Try keeping a bag of nuts with you and snacking on them when you crave cheese. Or put out a bowl of tamari or a dip made with it and dip snacks in it. Hummus is another good one. And vegan pesto.

.
Marinated olives are good that way, too.
.

 

[Hog]

I wish I had some useful advice. But, I do not. I can not say what is morally correct for you.

I flipped out about a similar issue about a year ago. My wife was in the hospital and my sons looked like they were loosing weight. I deeply sympathize with your situation.

 

[Urban Gardener]

.
Marinated olives are good that way, too.
.

And pickled grape leaves. I was just eating some and I realized the flavor is kind of similar to cheese - tangy and salty.

 

[Andy_T]

When I first went vegan, I did not eat any kind of cheese for some months.
After that time, I tried some of the available vegan cheese options.
Some were delicious, many were not. Nevertheless, had I tried it immediately after stopping to eat dairy cheese, my guess is that even the better options would not have been adequate to me. Not having the direct comparison, I was able to accept vegan cheese on its own merits, and now I do like to eat it now and then.

Again, the best varieties of "industrial" vegan cheese (e.g. German SimplyV and Wilmersburger, Greek Violife) are not the same thing as even mediocre dairy cheeses, yet still I like to eat them. Artisanal vegan cheeses can be as good as "the real thing", but are, of course, much more expensive due to the high costs of the ingredients and the work needed. One of the best compromises, IMO, are the Swiss "Vegusto No Moo" cheeses, while industrial, they are at the higher end of the price range, but they manage to replicate a very good taste. I am now also making my own cashew-based Camembert and Blue Cheese now and then, but again, pricey ingredients, lots of work, and they take a very long time to mature, so they are a rare treat.

 

[daxm]

Lucky for me, I've never had much interest in cheese. So your dilemma isn't a thing for me. That said, I DO have my temptations!!! I miss rich, creamy, ice cream! But I'm holding strong.

What works for me is to watch a "Vegan Documentary" and/or read a book (like "The China Study"). These re-motivate me to keep on track knowing that the meat/dairy products are causing so many issues.

Granted I'm more than twice your age so the effects of meat/dairy have shown up in my life. I'm trying to "heal" vs. you are probably just trying to avoid getting sick in the first place. It is hard to impress on you the horrible things meat/dairy will do to you until you experience them yourself (aches, fatigue, depression, feeling out of control, etc.) Hopefully you'll stay strong and avoid those all together!

 

[Second Summer]

I honestly think that going vegan right now when you're on holiday abroad with your family is not the best time.

It's probably better to go at a slightly slower pace when you're back home in an environment where you presumably have more control of your own schedule, can purchase things online and can take a bit more time to prepare/educate your family about your diet/lifestyle change.

That said, I personally would have loved to visit a vegan restaurant in the Canary Islands! I don't know how supportive your family is, but definitely try to take this opportunity and see if you can persuade one or more of them to go with you. The link david3 posted was for Gran Canaria, but here's the one for Lanzarote - only two fully vegan restaurants since it's a smaller island:
https://www.happycow.net/europe/spain/canary_islands/lanzarote/?filters=vegan

Note: It is a good idea to call ahead of time or do some other kind of check to make sure they are still open and doing business! The listings on HappyCow are not always up-to-date.

 

[Danielle]

Cheese is one of the harder things to quit when going vegan, the good thing is the longer you've been off it the less you miss it. At least from experience. Taste buds change. You do have to find something you like as much as cheese. For me it was sundried tomatoes, olives, guac and chocolate. Until vegan cheese improved. Now it's Miyoko's cheese wheels, at least once in a while. It's not easy to transition fully, maybe just have it once in a while when you really crave it.
I used to write down on the calendar if today was a vegan or vegetarian day, to motivate me. I wanted to have all vegan days, so it would make me do better.

 

[silva]

And pickled grape leaves. I was just eating some and I realized the flavor is kind of similar to cheese - tangy and salty.

Dolmas! No, they're not pickled, but in a kinda briney olive oil, and I have a can in the cupboard--just trying to think of what I could bring to tomorrows lunch!
They are on the list to satisfy cheese cravings

 

[Jamie in Chile]

I don´t think it matters so much whether you do it now or after the holiday. Hope you get to one of those restaurants though. Good luck!

 

[Urban Gardener]

Dolmas! No, they're not pickled, but in a kinda briney olive oil, and I have a can in the cupboard--just trying to think of what I could bring to tomorrows lunch!
They are on the list to satisfy cheese cravings

Good catch! They aren't pickled - mine are in salt water. I've been eating them unstuffed, just wrapped in bundles. They have tons of vitamin C.

 

[Andy_T]

Hello Rory,

when you are not vacationing in Spain, which country are you living in?
Depending on that we could give you some suggestions for good available vegan cheese options.

 

[Tyrant]

For me, a holiday is literally disconnecting from everything. So my advice would be that, if you like cheese, just eat it. Don't give yourself free distress and anxiety and just enjoy your holidays: you can resume your lifestyle when you're back to your regular life.

 

[Forest Nymph]

I've personally studied Buddhist principles of non-harm and the history of Asian philosophies, and the idea behind being lacto-vegetarian is when it really doesn't harm the animals. This includes goats or cows who are loved as companion animals (or even as minor deities or guardians in some religions) and who die a natural death - no slaughtering of older dairy cows for "efficiency" or "business practices." Milk is also shared with calves/kids instead of the stereotypical Western farm where the babies are separated from mothers.

If you can find that scenario then there's no conflict within the bounds of your spiritual beliefs, but eating factory-farmed cheese isn't really more humane than eating meat, though perhaps from a spiritual perspective it's still perceived as less harmful because you're not actually consuming a non-human animal's body.

 

[Forest Nymph]

For me, a holiday is literally disconnecting from everything. So my advice would be that, if you like cheese, just eat it. Don't give yourself free distress and anxiety and just enjoy your holidays: you can resume your lifestyle when you're back to your regular life.

In some forms of Buddhism it's permissible to eat something that is freely given as long as YOU PERSONALLY did not purchase the animal product or participate in hunting/fishing/slaughter. It's similar to "freeganism" where people dumpster dive or only eat vegan when they purchase their own food, but accept non-vegan charity in the knowledge it won't harm any further animals or put more demand for animal products in the capitalist system.

It's also permissible to eat culturally if there's no other options; it's a form of non-attachment. For example, if there's no vegan options in that part of Spain, it's fine to be vegetarian as long as its practiced ethically. This is similar to utilitarian vegan philosophy (like Peter Singer) where you don't spit out a dish at a friend or relative's house because it contains traces of milk or eggs, or torture yourself (fasting, starving, causing a big fuss) in a location where being totally vegan isn't practical.