Don't Be Too Hard On Yourself

[Deleted member 3018]

I met this woman, who had been almost-vegan for a year. She has a background of being an athlete, and had been brainwashed all her life, to think that animal protein is essential for a good sports performance. So she still eats eggs, (for the old habbit) that she buys directly from a local farm that is free range. She was afraid that she'll be kicked out of the activist group, and she said that she feels like a bad person, because she isn't a perfect vegan yet.
(by the way, she didn't get kicked out. It's just important, that when she talks on the behalf of the group, she doesn't mention her own opinions and sticks to what our activism is about: gradually stopping the slavery of animals.)

I think that's sorta weird, that she feels bad after doing something good and trying her best. I bet that she would be all comfy with herself if she had never even heard about veganism. I can relate... when I was transitioning I had this wake-up call: "I'm a horrible person."
And that did drive me to try my hardest, and even push me beyond that, as I was aspiring to become this "perfect" vegan, as soon as possible... so in a way it was good.
But... To compare yourself to all these "super" vegans, who just went vegan overnight and have never relapsed, you are bound to be atleast, very displeased with yourself. And if veganism makes you feel bad, you are bound to fail.
You are driven by your instincts, thus you want to do what makes you feel good and if all you think throught-out the day is how bad person you are, more likely you are going to want to go back into that old comfortable denial.

The ethical thinking developes slowly, and we are all individuals. You can't just copy others, and think that you have been changed. Change comes from within, and boy, it takes time.

So as new vegans, or old that are struggling: 'cause life is crazy and you can't always know what is going to happen.

PAT YOURSELF TO THE BACK

You are doing the best you can.
And that's enough, for now.

 

[visceral-vegan]

I love this! I felt horrible when I learned how animals are treated in the industries we use them for. I was so ashamed and guilty, feeling like I kind of knew but allowed myself to be in denial or just not think about it.

I tend to be an all or nothing person and I am constantly trying to remind myself that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Even a little bit counts.

No one is perfect. And, even changing ONE thing is something. Change never happens overnight - it is always slow. One step at a time. So, yes, even if we do one step at a time, we are changing.

 

[Deleted member 3018]

I'm glad this helped you.

I guess that transitioning isn't supposed to be easy, as our ethical thinking grows and we understand (in a more deeper level), that animals are persons too, who need autonomy... And we no longer can support the products of cruelty, and in the same time, our old ways drags us down.. Or should I say that change is NEVER easy, infact it's very complicated process to most of us, and very slow, indeed. There isn't a good reason to beat yourself up about it.
Being vegan isn't just about punishing oneself and feeling terrible about how animals are being treated in this twisted human-centered world... even though, sometimes these feelings and actions can be unavoidable.

For what it is worth, I definitely think that it would be much more constructive to learn to look at the positives, instead of the negatives: we have already accomplished alot, by choosing to become vegan one day, and thriving towards that goal.
And instead of thinking that "there is much that I haven't done yet, I'm never going to be enough" it would be better to think: " there is still a long journey ahead, and it's going to be amazing"

There are alot of good, healthy and cheap vegan recipes we can learn to cook from... there are huge amounts of knowledge we can gain about animals, empathy, activism and veganism... also, other vegans we can meet.


Let us be happy vegans, or if we aren't vegan just yet, atleast we thrive towards veganism.
Also, I think that it's important to add, that if someone, who has been vegan, and then, for what ever the reason, quits, or fails, it doesn't mean that they have stopped caring about animals, or that they were never vegan in the first place... and also, it doesn't mean that they are never going to go vegan again.
On the contrary, once you have become vegan, even if you fail, it's very difficult to completely stop, because you can't unsee the animal cruelty, and thus are very much likely to go vegan yet again: armed with new recipes, of course.