- Joined
- Jun 4, 2012
- Reaction score
- 19,493
- Age
- 64
- Location
- I'm liek, in Cali, dude.
- Lifestyle
- Vegetarian
Mmmmm chocolate. My favorite food group. 
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Fun:Chocolate#cite_note-0
You Know You're a Serious Chocoholic...
1. When you learn a foreign language, "chocolate" is one of the first words you learn in that language
2. You know how to say "chocolate" in multiple different languages without knowing any other word in those languages
3. You wish you were a student at Hogwarts at least in part because Madame Pompfrey treats the students’ aches and pains and injuries with chocolate
4. You’re forever looking for that perfect bar of chocolate
5. When you do find that perfect bar of chocolate, you don’t eat it. You marry it.
6. You’re too full from a fantastic meal for dessert – but you will always make an exception if there’s chocolate on it or in it
7. You think chocolate covered Passover matzoh is silly, but you’re still willing to try it.
8. You think carob is a poor substitute for the real thing, but when deprived of the real thing, you settle for carob anyway
9. You own a notepad with brown colored sheets and a saying on each sheet: The Best Things in Life Are Chocolate!
10. You own a T-shirt or sweatshirt that says "Hand Over the Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt!" on it.
11. You own a mousepad from Ghirardelli’s in San Francisco with a picture of a bar of chocolate on it, a bite shaped hole in the corner, and the saying "Take a byte out of chocolate!" on it; the mousepad is 15 years old, the cover is badly peeling, but you still use it because it’s about chocolate, dammit.
12. You buy a package of chocolate chips (which makes you happy because they’re vegan) for baking into cookies and you end up eating all the chips before you ever make any cookies
13. The only chocolate you can find in the house is baking chocolate, so you decide to bake some brownies with it, but when you discover you’re missing some of the other ingredients, you just eat the baking chocolate by itself
14. You buy Oreos with chocolate filling and you not only eat the filling but the actual cookies, too
15. You wonder if you’re the only one who craves chocolate flavored soda and chocolate flavored beer.
16. You put chocolate soymilk in your cereal because you think it makes the cereal taste better
17. You eat Cocoa Puffs for breakfast, lunch and dinner and actually tell people that you’re "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!"
18. For Cinco de Mayo you make chocolate molé sauce and put it on seitan
19. You watch the episode of Bones in which a woman’s corpse is found inside a gigantic bar of chocolate, and not only are you NOT turned off to chocolate, but you decide that’s how YOU want to go, too.
20. The knowledge that the US government allows a certain amount of insect parts in chocolate doesn’t bother you and doesn’t keep you from eating chocolate
21. You genuinely feel sorry for people who are allergic to chocolate and genuinely feel pity for people who say they don’t like chocolate
22. If you live alone you love it because you don’t have to share your chocolate, and if you live with others you’re happy to spread the chocolate religion around and get your loved ones hooked on it
23. You have to consistently remember that chocolate is toxic to dogs and cats and shouldn’t be given to them, because otherwise you’d let them in on the joys of chocolate
24. When you drop chocolate on the floor, the 3 second rule ALWAYS applies
25. If your chocolate ice cream melts too fast and turns into ice cream soup, you eat/drink it anyway.
26. You’d definitely eat all the vegetables you normally despise if they were covered in chocolate, but only to get at the chocolate
27. Your favorite days are the day after Christmas, the day after Valentine’s Day, and the day after Easter, because then you can get chocolate on clearance
28. You use "chocolate" as an internet password for everything.
29. Your picture is in the dictionary next to the word "chocoholic"
30. You dream of hosting your own television cooking show in which everything you make consists of chocolate
31. You can spell the word "chocolate" backwards, forwards, standing on your head and in your sleep
32. You naturally dream of nothing but chocolate. A typical dream consists of you arriving late for a test and you’ve suddenly forgotten all the answers, but it doesn’t matter, because you look down at the test and realize that ALL the answers consist of only one word: chocolate.
33. You’re eating chocolate right now and getting it all over your keyboard and your clothes
34. Everything you’ve ever owned has at least one chocolate stain on it.
35. If chocolate ran for elective office, you’d vote for it.
36. If chocolate was banned in the area where you live, you’d drop everything to lead an angry protest, no matter how long it takes, to get chocolate back.
37. You give your mother a box of chocolates on Mother’s Day and end up eating half the box before your mother gets a chance to pick out her first chocolate from it
38. If you pick a chocolate out of a box of chocolates and it has filling you don’t like, you just eat the chocolate around the filling and you toss the filling
39. You switch to a new doctor every time the previous doctor tells you to cut down on chocolate in order to lose weight
40. Everything in this list applies to you – and you have more to add.
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Fun:Chocolate#cite_note-0
You Know You're a Serious Chocoholic...
1. When you learn a foreign language, "chocolate" is one of the first words you learn in that language
2. You know how to say "chocolate" in multiple different languages without knowing any other word in those languages
3. You wish you were a student at Hogwarts at least in part because Madame Pompfrey treats the students’ aches and pains and injuries with chocolate
4. You’re forever looking for that perfect bar of chocolate
5. When you do find that perfect bar of chocolate, you don’t eat it. You marry it.
6. You’re too full from a fantastic meal for dessert – but you will always make an exception if there’s chocolate on it or in it
7. You think chocolate covered Passover matzoh is silly, but you’re still willing to try it.
8. You think carob is a poor substitute for the real thing, but when deprived of the real thing, you settle for carob anyway
9. You own a notepad with brown colored sheets and a saying on each sheet: The Best Things in Life Are Chocolate!
10. You own a T-shirt or sweatshirt that says "Hand Over the Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt!" on it.
11. You own a mousepad from Ghirardelli’s in San Francisco with a picture of a bar of chocolate on it, a bite shaped hole in the corner, and the saying "Take a byte out of chocolate!" on it; the mousepad is 15 years old, the cover is badly peeling, but you still use it because it’s about chocolate, dammit.
12. You buy a package of chocolate chips (which makes you happy because they’re vegan) for baking into cookies and you end up eating all the chips before you ever make any cookies
13. The only chocolate you can find in the house is baking chocolate, so you decide to bake some brownies with it, but when you discover you’re missing some of the other ingredients, you just eat the baking chocolate by itself
14. You buy Oreos with chocolate filling and you not only eat the filling but the actual cookies, too
15. You wonder if you’re the only one who craves chocolate flavored soda and chocolate flavored beer.
16. You put chocolate soymilk in your cereal because you think it makes the cereal taste better
17. You eat Cocoa Puffs for breakfast, lunch and dinner and actually tell people that you’re "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!"
18. For Cinco de Mayo you make chocolate molé sauce and put it on seitan
19. You watch the episode of Bones in which a woman’s corpse is found inside a gigantic bar of chocolate, and not only are you NOT turned off to chocolate, but you decide that’s how YOU want to go, too.
20. The knowledge that the US government allows a certain amount of insect parts in chocolate doesn’t bother you and doesn’t keep you from eating chocolate
21. You genuinely feel sorry for people who are allergic to chocolate and genuinely feel pity for people who say they don’t like chocolate
22. If you live alone you love it because you don’t have to share your chocolate, and if you live with others you’re happy to spread the chocolate religion around and get your loved ones hooked on it
23. You have to consistently remember that chocolate is toxic to dogs and cats and shouldn’t be given to them, because otherwise you’d let them in on the joys of chocolate
24. When you drop chocolate on the floor, the 3 second rule ALWAYS applies
25. If your chocolate ice cream melts too fast and turns into ice cream soup, you eat/drink it anyway.
26. You’d definitely eat all the vegetables you normally despise if they were covered in chocolate, but only to get at the chocolate
27. Your favorite days are the day after Christmas, the day after Valentine’s Day, and the day after Easter, because then you can get chocolate on clearance
28. You use "chocolate" as an internet password for everything.
29. Your picture is in the dictionary next to the word "chocoholic"
30. You dream of hosting your own television cooking show in which everything you make consists of chocolate
31. You can spell the word "chocolate" backwards, forwards, standing on your head and in your sleep
32. You naturally dream of nothing but chocolate. A typical dream consists of you arriving late for a test and you’ve suddenly forgotten all the answers, but it doesn’t matter, because you look down at the test and realize that ALL the answers consist of only one word: chocolate.
33. You’re eating chocolate right now and getting it all over your keyboard and your clothes
34. Everything you’ve ever owned has at least one chocolate stain on it.
35. If chocolate ran for elective office, you’d vote for it.
36. If chocolate was banned in the area where you live, you’d drop everything to lead an angry protest, no matter how long it takes, to get chocolate back.
37. You give your mother a box of chocolates on Mother’s Day and end up eating half the box before your mother gets a chance to pick out her first chocolate from it
38. If you pick a chocolate out of a box of chocolates and it has filling you don’t like, you just eat the chocolate around the filling and you toss the filling
39. You switch to a new doctor every time the previous doctor tells you to cut down on chocolate in order to lose weight
40. Everything in this list applies to you – and you have more to add.
