Your partner decides to not be vegan

Anna Blush

Newcomer
Joined
Jul 7, 2015
Reaction score
0
Age
27
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
Would you feel like your relationship should end if your partner decides he/she wants to stop being on the vegan lifestyle? I have had a friend that felt very passionate about her food choices and when she met her significant other, he was the same way. Now fast forward 2 years later he is starting to feel like he is missing out on a lot of old favorite foods that he used to have as a child. I feel like the relationship should not end because of something like this. I feel like love can overcome something such as eating habits and they should find a compromising solution at this point.

what are your thoughts on this and would you break up with your partner if they suddenly announced this to you?
 

Josie

Practitioner
Joined
May 17, 2015
Reaction score
21
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
It totally depends on the couple. Of course I wouldn't leave my husband if he went back to eating meat. I would be disappointed and things would get expensive as we're eating two different menus every single day, but we love and respect each other.. it wouldn't be a huge issue or deal breaker. If someone is willing to end their relationship over that, then they aren't meant to be together and forcing it is pointless. She obviously needs someone that shares her views.. and he deserves someone that supports his as well and accepts everything about him.
 
Joined
May 18, 2015
Reaction score
1
Location
Virtual World
Lifestyle
I don't see why he has to renounce to his eating habits. I mean, living together may require one of the partners give up to adopt his/her significant other lifestyle and eating choices as a natural way to share a life.

However he could always indulge himself with some of those favorite foods, let's say they set weekends as the day to eat the way each of them want to, or at least let's say Sunday, whether she prepares both vegan and no-vegan dishes for each one, or allowing him to bring non-vegan food at home, or giving him a break to go out there to eat what he loves to eat.

I would resolve the issue this way.
 

Alexia

Practitioner
Joined
Mar 11, 2015
Reaction score
25
Location
UK
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan newbie
If a relationship ended because of this, then I would question how serious the relationship was. While diet shouldn't be a factor, having shared dietary interests do help, but many couples have different foods they prefer. As for the lifestyle, some people can be extreme in their views and that can be an obstacle.

If my other half wanted to eat meat, I would be disappointed, just as I have friends who used to be vegetarian, but relationships aren't based on diets alone. I do think your friend maybe unreasonable, because it maybe a phase and he may revert back later on. Then she would have ended a relationship for nothing.
 
Joined
May 18, 2015
Reaction score
1
Location
Virtual World
Lifestyle
I was reading some articles before heading off to bed, as I do almost any single night, and I found an interesting article that seems to be written with @Anna Blush problem in mind, check it out:
7 Relationship Survival Tips for the Vegan/Non-Vegan Couple
By saracrolick

Opening our hearts to a new person ranks high on the list of the most beautiful, exciting, fulfilling events we experience in a lifetime; but the process doesn’t come without its own set of obstacles. We invest precious time and energy getting to know another soul, enjoying time together, but all the while figuring out if they’re a proper fit.

So what do you when you’ve gotten it all right except for one tiny detail - you’re a vegan, but your partner? not so much.

Each person has to honor their own moral compass, but if the relationship is remarkable on all other fronts, you may discover you are willing to look past your partner’s dietary choices to give love an opportunity to grow. This is not to imply that living with or dating a non-vegan (as a vegan) won’t require work and patience, but with a few simple guidelines you can help your chances of making the partnership work, exponentially.

You can read those seven tips here, http://www.meetmindful.com/7-relationship-survival-tips-for-the-vegannon-vegan-couple/
 
Joined
Jun 20, 2015
Reaction score
4
Age
25
Lifestyle
  1. Vegetarian
I wouldn't break up with someone who wasn't a vegetarian/vegan. I've never dated someone who was, and it's never been a problem for me. It was my choice to not want to eat meat, and it's theirs to want to eat meat. And I get that, I just think that if they have been together so long it shouldn't ruin their relationship like you said, but I can see why she would be mad. I would probably be mad too if my boyfriend of two years just decided to eat meat again or his favorite foods like you said.
 
  • Like
Reactions: JessieJJ

JessieJJ

Novice
Joined
Aug 5, 2015
Reaction score
0
Age
26
Lifestyle
I wouldn't break up with my partner especially if we are in love. Being Vegan is choice and if your partner chooses not to be one then it's totally fine. Of course it's a challenge because there's going to be two types of foods in the house. In my opinion it's all worth it because at the end of the day you guys love each other.
 

Mickella18

Novice
Joined
Aug 5, 2015
Reaction score
2
Age
23
In any relationship, freedom of choice is a key component. I would allow my partner to realize their own thinking. I wouldn't force my beliefs upon him. I am vegan and he is not, that's no big deal. I like the color blue, he does not, get my drift?

Try as best not to crowd your views on the ones around you who you love. Not everybody has the same level of thinking especially when it comes on to personal health and difficult lifestyle choices.
 
W

winter.frost

Guest
The issue with me is sharing bodily fluids. I could not imagine kissing my husband etc. if he were not vegan. He knows this, however and I am quite impressed with him... he is not a 'vegan' (does not use the label) but he eats a plant based diet. At heart he is a flexitarian, but he chooses to eat 100% plants because he wants to be with me in a way that does not hurt me. We have discussed this at length.

Incidentally I am actually writing a vegan cookbook of childhood favourite dishes. It was inspired by an awkward tale I heard about a vegan mother who struggles for her child every time they get invited to a children's party. The book, when published, will be filled with simple British favourites. It is some way off, since I have only just begun.

Personally I would see it as you really would rather contribute to the killing of another being? I'm an animist, though, so the issue is pretty clear cut to me. Not all vegans are animists (and, actually, not all animists are vegans either but when together it forms a potent combination).
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Onroda

Novice
Joined
Oct 29, 2015
Reaction score
2
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
My wife and I married almost 30 years ago. We went through a lot of arguments on food during this time. When I became a vegetarian some few years after our wedding, she followed suit but renounced to that diet 6 months after, because of her cravings for sliced sausage. When I became an almost 100% compliant vegan three years ago, she was literally shocked and kept nagging me for ages. Now she seems to have come to terms with it, especially since our daughter decided to follow her father's "strange habit" (our two boys, one of them a vegetarian, have left home some years ago). But she often talks with friends about her husbands extreme "diet" and seems to find comfort in their consent. And she even said to a friend on the phone (talking about this week's news about the correlation of cancer and processed meat) that she would cut down on her meat consumption. I'd say it's quite challenging to live with an omnivore companion, but her being opposed to my decision is definitely no reason for me to divorce her. I like disputes and time will tell who will prevail.
 
  • Like
Reactions: cssidy

Sally

Practitioner
Joined
Oct 20, 2015
Reaction score
147
Location
Isle of Wight UK
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
I am the only vegan, my husband is not. So I cook two meals. I think that if you are not vegan for your own beliefs, for me it's the animals, then it is just a diet like any other, and diets are hard to stick to. If you are doing it for love of your partner, well, there will be times once the first flush has died down, where the freedom of life before this relationship might seem like a better time. You can't force people to be the way you want, and if you try, do you only love the mirror image of yourself?
 
  • Like
Reactions: cssidy

Oatter

Novice
Joined
Jan 1, 2017
Reaction score
1
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
He decides not to be my partner....simple as that.

If a relationship ended because of this, then I would question how serious the relationship was. While diet shouldn't be a factor, having shared dietary interests do help, but many couples have different foods they prefer. As for the lifestyle, some people can be extreme in their views and that can be an obstacle.

If my other half wanted to eat meat, I would be disappointed, just as I have friends who used to be vegetarian, but relationships aren't based on diets alone. I do think your friend maybe unreasonable, because it maybe a phase and he may revert back later on. Then she would have ended a relationship for nothing.

Amazing truly. This headline can easily be read as 'your partner decides to be a serial killer and torturer'.
And here 'we' are calling murder and torture dietary preference because the victim ends on our plate.

No, i don't get your drift. Few people would date a cannibal or serial killer, on sheer moral basis.

Dietary preference is: 'I like kale; you like apples'.
This is not about diet, it's about core values, compassion and their consequences on lives of others. Which should matter much more in an intimate partner than in a friend, colleague or family members (as we don't usually get to choose the latter).

Sadly speciesism is terribly rampant among vegans too.
 

PurpleGal

Newcomer
Joined
Jan 11, 2017
Reaction score
0
Age
27
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
When I first started dating my S/o he was vegan I was vegaterian. We bonded super closely and within 3 months he told he he'd never force me to change my eating habits but he wasn't ever going to consume any animal products. He slowly shower me vegan cheeses and meals... to say the least I became fully vegan. I couldn't date anyone that ate meat -- however for some odd reason if my partner wanted to we'd have a civil sit down discussion. I'd be disappointed in him but respect his choices. I can't say it wouldn't harm our relationship (even if I still loved him) because it probably would. Being vegan isn't only a diatry choice for us, it's an ethic and religious choice.
 

alleycat

Practitioner
Joined
Jan 29, 2017
Reaction score
95
Age
63
Location
Queensland, Australia
Lifestyle
  1. Vegan
Oh the joy of having a chef as a partner, even if he eats meat. I don't cook a lot because I don't like too, it would take me all day to cook what he can do in an hour. I get to do the fun stuff out in the vegie garden and the other yard work. It works well for us.