Sorting this all out...

[TitanRay]

Right now, I have transitioned to phase who knows what because it started with eating mostly legumes and very little meat to reduce my grocery bill at home, to eating very little meat when out, to eating no meat when out, while leaning heavily on dairy and eggs. I decided to do a slooowww transition to vegan, watched a documentary about factory farming and kill floors upon recommendation, and that propelled my transition to warp speed. Here I am after a social week trying to figure out how to lean into this because I'm learning that eating at home is easy but eating a vegan diet at other people's homes and at most restaurants is extremely difficult. I'm also extremely frugal, and I don't want to eat a veggie burger on a bed of lettuce every time I go to a restaurant for $30 a meal, especially since I prefer what I prepare much more. If I don't rip the band-aid, I'll continue to begrudgingly eat food that does not align with my values to keep my social life and to ease my people-pleasing ways. The thing is, to everyone around me, a hamburger bun is a hamburger bun, not a symbol of exploitation. Shrimp sitting on a platter of ice is not a sentient, over-sourced crustacean... A burger isn't an abused cow, or multiple abused cows, who tried to escape being slaughtered after living their whole life on a factory farm in deplorable conditions. It's just a juicy puck that only ever was and could only ever be a meat patty. I know this because that was the way I thought less than a year ago. I stand out like a sore and awkward thumb, and I really, really don't like that... But I also really feel like there can't be grey areas: You're either feeding the machine with consumerism, or you're starving it by withholding your dollars. I also struggle with eating AND throwing the dairy and eggs in my home away because an animal suffered greatly, and it seems cruel to eat it, but it seems worse for it to end up in the trash. I also find myself uncomfortable with the judgment. We can eat something from the garden and discuss the entire process from A to Z while eating it, and it's all accolades, "yay, you! You grew a garden, and here WE all are eating the fruits of your labor". But when we abstain from meat and animal byproducts, we often endure judgy glares or dismissiveness, and oddly enough, people NEVER want to discuss how their steak and butter ended up on their plate. It's not polite dinner conversation, especially mid-bite. Any suggestions for social gatherings about other people's discomfort with my diet, and how to handle dairy and eggs in-house while transitioning, like a nearly full container of mayonnaise, are greatly appreciated.