Hi everybody,
I'd be grateful if I could get some advice
I was close friends with my ex for a year then together for 2 years. Originally I wanted a Vegan boyfriend and spent a year trying to find one, only to fall in love ever-more with my ex. Like all couples, we had a our problems but loved eachother a lot, and for me one of the hardest was him not being Vegan - I was born Vegan and have 3 Vegan brothers and sisters, 2 married to Vegans and 1 with a Vegan baby, so we really value it!
My ex changed his eating habits a lot. He cut out dairy for health reasons and began eating fake-meat and Vegetarian sausages, soya (TVP), seitan etc. He learnt how to cook basically, and would make these things himself at home when I wasn't there. Mostly he didn't eat meat in front of me.
He by no means identified as a Vegan or Vegetarian, however, and would happily eat meat at his mum's house, at work, and when at restaurants with friends. He basically said that the welfare of animals was not important to him like it is to me, that it's more health and environment that does it for him, but he's not prepared to risk social exclusion or ridicule in order to choose the Vege option at a restaurant (his friends really do make a thing out of it, and normally I'm the one on the receiving end from his friends or dad, though he sticks up for me).
I basically largely accepted his diet, or at least learnt to shut up about it and give him credit for having changed a lot. But recently he bought a house and the idea of me moving into a house where meat /egg products would be in the fridge and getting cooked just felt too much for me. I'm happy for him to do what he wants outside of the home, but just not in our home, otherwise it's not my home, if that makes sense. He couldn't accept this condition, saying he wants to feel free and accepted for who he is.
Due to this and various other reasons also affecting our relationship, about 4 months ago we decided to break up, Veganism seeming like a 'core' value that cemented our decision over all our other differences that arguably could be resolved and some of which already have been.
2 months ago I started dating a Vegan (I know, in hindsight this was way too soon, I just didn't realise it at the time) and found the experience incredible, I love being with a Vegan. But the longer time goes on, the more crazily I miss my ex, more I feel I can't get over him, the more I feel like food is the only thing I have in common with my now boyfriend and feel I've done everything wrong. My ex, too is telling me he can't get over me.
My ex made such changes in his diet in the space of 2 years, was it just impatient and demanding of me to pressure him to become Vegan / Vegan at home? Is there a solution to things like this? Or should I just give it more time and try harder to get over him?
Thank you everybody
I'd be grateful if I could get some advice
I was close friends with my ex for a year then together for 2 years. Originally I wanted a Vegan boyfriend and spent a year trying to find one, only to fall in love ever-more with my ex. Like all couples, we had a our problems but loved eachother a lot, and for me one of the hardest was him not being Vegan - I was born Vegan and have 3 Vegan brothers and sisters, 2 married to Vegans and 1 with a Vegan baby, so we really value it!
My ex changed his eating habits a lot. He cut out dairy for health reasons and began eating fake-meat and Vegetarian sausages, soya (TVP), seitan etc. He learnt how to cook basically, and would make these things himself at home when I wasn't there. Mostly he didn't eat meat in front of me.
He by no means identified as a Vegan or Vegetarian, however, and would happily eat meat at his mum's house, at work, and when at restaurants with friends. He basically said that the welfare of animals was not important to him like it is to me, that it's more health and environment that does it for him, but he's not prepared to risk social exclusion or ridicule in order to choose the Vege option at a restaurant (his friends really do make a thing out of it, and normally I'm the one on the receiving end from his friends or dad, though he sticks up for me).
I basically largely accepted his diet, or at least learnt to shut up about it and give him credit for having changed a lot. But recently he bought a house and the idea of me moving into a house where meat /egg products would be in the fridge and getting cooked just felt too much for me. I'm happy for him to do what he wants outside of the home, but just not in our home, otherwise it's not my home, if that makes sense. He couldn't accept this condition, saying he wants to feel free and accepted for who he is.
Due to this and various other reasons also affecting our relationship, about 4 months ago we decided to break up, Veganism seeming like a 'core' value that cemented our decision over all our other differences that arguably could be resolved and some of which already have been.
2 months ago I started dating a Vegan (I know, in hindsight this was way too soon, I just didn't realise it at the time) and found the experience incredible, I love being with a Vegan. But the longer time goes on, the more crazily I miss my ex, more I feel I can't get over him, the more I feel like food is the only thing I have in common with my now boyfriend and feel I've done everything wrong. My ex, too is telling me he can't get over me.
My ex made such changes in his diet in the space of 2 years, was it just impatient and demanding of me to pressure him to become Vegan / Vegan at home? Is there a solution to things like this? Or should I just give it more time and try harder to get over him?
Thank you everybody