Hi all! I am hoping to connect here and find some people going through similar experiences/feelings. Maybe looking for some sort of consolation or just a (virtual) shoulder to cry on. I have been vegan about 1.5 years, and vegetarian for 7 years before that. I feel like I have been on this vegan journey in so many more ways than just a diet/lifestyle choice and more of a deep spirituality/belief. And after a year+ it has yet to get easy. I don't mean giving up the food, I was lucky enough that that part was a breeze for me. I gave up cheese in a day when I FINALLY learned the horrors of the dairy industry. Then I was filled with anger and guilt that it took me so long to know. Guilt for not doing it sooner, for the baby cows I effected while still eating dairy products. I am filled with sadness for humanity and the loss of respect for other beings/life, and a deep sorrow for the poor innocents souls taken by the millions each day at the hands of humans. Terrified/alone/treated like actual trash.... I cant even fathom it. I often try to think about each and every individual, I know it is impossible and I am not sure why, maybe to honor them, a memorial. Maybe wishing I could tell them they were loved, they mattered and there were some of us who truly cared. I just feel like every single day my heart breaks, shatters. Maybe I cry too much. I question if I am weak a lot of days. How can others go on without a thought on this, and I am unable to let it go, tears streaming down my face at least once a day. I am so very proud to be vegan, and I will never go back. But I have to say it has been an extremely isolating experience filled with so much sadness and depression at the reality of the world, at others unwillingness to accept/admit it, even those closest to me. I feel like some of my closest relationships have taken a hit as I chose veganism. To me, it is an ideology that seems sooooo simple and so right and so morally correct and yet it feels like nearly everyone has an issue with it. I try to hold to my vegan pages with like-minded people but it's very hard to tunnel vision out all the bad sometimes. It has been mind blowing to me, and I think beyond anything the reality of it all is still what gets to me most, and it is utterly heartbreaking. Will I ever be able to handle the feelings better? I feel it deep in my heart every single day. It feels so unfair and helpless. And yet every time I think or speak of my heartbreak, I remind myself that it is not even close to what so many innocents animals face every second. I know it is a dream to think the world will ever be a vegan one with kindness to all, from ALL, but how are we supposed to cope and be happy and thrive as a vegan in a non-vegan, very violent and cruel world. I can't help but feel overwhelmed by all the bad, all the truly evil. I feel so lost sometimes, while at the same time feeling as if I have found my purpose; a way of life I am proud to live. I guess I am looking for advice or shared experiences on how to cope with all the sadness, helplessness, cruelty, loneliness, etc... the deeper thoughts on a spiritual level. What truly matters during our short, short lives. I wish I could save them all, and I always feel like I am not doing enough :-(
I have no advice but I agree with the others. You will find a lot of helpful advice here on the forum!
