My boyfriend wants me to become vegan

[Danielle]

Where I grew up, there were no options, so I understand. It's hard to cook everything all the time, and vegan choices can be so hard to find in some places. I think we should stay positive, do our best to eat vegan, and be thankful their we're caring people, and acknowledge we are all only human

The options are okay, but I'm used to living in vegan paradise. Like I can go to Walmart and Kroger, and there's options. It's eating out.
I'm excited to go back to Chicago for a weekend. I can have vegan crab rangoon and chicago diner shakes

 

[Lou]

The options are okay, but I'm used to living in vegan paradise. Like I can go to Walmart and Kroger, and there's options. It's eating out.
I'm excited to go back to Chicago for a weekend. I can have vegan crab rangoon and chicago diner shakes

Mississippi is vegan paradise?

 

[Danielle]

Mississippi is vegan paradise?

...? I meant Chicago was vegan paradise.

 

[Stardust1986]

The options are okay, but I'm used to living in vegan paradise. Like I can go to Walmart and Kroger, and there's options. It's eating out.
I'm excited to go back to Chicago for a weekend. I can have vegan crab rangoon and chicago diner shakes

Anywhere that serves vegan crab ragoons is a paradise : ) the best place to eat out around me is a Lebanese restraunt, it has the most options

 

[Danielle]

Anywhere that serves vegan crab ragoons is a paradise : ) the best place to eat out around me is a Lebanese restraunt, it has the most options

Never been there myself, I think they opened after I moved. Definitely looking forward to checking it out. It's called Alice and Friends

 

[Lou]

Anywhere that serves vegan crab ragoons is a paradise

I want some!

Harkening back to an earlier conversation about gross foods. Where I grew up (Long Island) we had a place that made soft shell crab sandwiches. Two slices of toast with a fried crab in the middle. the little legs would be hanging off the edge of the sandwich and I would nibble on them first.

 

[Calliegirl]

I want some!

Harkening back to an earlier conversation about gross foods. Where I grew up (Long Island) we had a place that made soft shell crab sandwiches. Two slices of toast with a fried crab in the middle. the little legs would be hanging off the edge of the sandwich and I would nibble on them first.

That painted a disturbing image. When I would go out to eat with nonvegan friends, I told them I was fine with eating anywhere except a seafood restaurant. I couldn't deal with the smell and sound of people cracking legs.

 

[Lou]

Seafood restaurants are never a good place for vegans. Even if you don't have issues with the smell (or sounds), they don't usually have vegan stuff on the menu.

 

[Andy_T]

Hello @Nirvana, welcome to the forum!
Look at it from the other side - you can live healthy and be healthy without murdering animals.

 

[silva]

Your relationship doesn't sound very healthy. Being vegan is something you choose for yourself. If your being pressured to it, there's only one name to it and it's called domestic violence. Plus you can eat healthy and be healthy without being vegan.

I remember this thread well, there was never any indication that the OP was being pushed into being vegan, only that she wanted to and was finding it difficult,
Please don't post accusations based on assumptions
The OP never returned so we don't know the outcome

 

[Katipo_Artworks]

My boyfriend wants me to become vegan but I need patience from him. Pls help.

My boyfriend and I have been fostering a really healthy relationship, and we both have discussed the fact that we see this going very far. From what I can tell, neither of us have any interest on ending it any time soon.

He is a vegan, and knew prior to dating that I was not- I had never been exposed to the lifestyle before, but was very open to learning and exploring it. A couple months in, he expressed concerns about the fact that he did not see himself ending up with someone who did not make the same dietary decisions as him, because he values veganism so closely. I expressed that knew this and loved this about him- and I would consciously make changes to work toward this lifestyle. As you know, this is a big change to make, and cannot realistically happen overnight for someone who is so new to the idea. We started to cook many vegan meals together, any animal products I did buy, I tried to purchase as ethically as possible, and I have started buying much more alternative foods than I did before. He expressed that this made him feel a lot better about the relationship moving forward.

He recently brought up this concern again, even though I had been making strides in his direction. I expressed that I need patience and gentleness from someone who will hold my hand during this transition, because I know it matters so much to him and I want to align with him in ways that make him feel seen and loved, as well as the opportunity to see the world and his values through his own lens. I guess I am frustrated because I want him to know that I really am trying, but I need patience. And time. Along with the same open-mindedness that I have shown to him.

Please let me know your thoughts- I love him too deeply to let this sever anything. Just need guidance, as well as advice on how to communicate this to him.

First of all, that's so so awesome that you are transitioning to a vegan lifestyle! That's amazing and you should feel very proud of how far it sounds like you have already come ^_^ It also sounds like something you genuinely want to do.
I have been vegan for six years now, and I think the longer someone is vegan, the easier it becomes for us to forget that we were once not vegan ourselves. For me personally, it took many twists and turns and several attempts before I made the switch completely. A lot of people need time to slowly transition, so you are not alone in this at all. I would definitely sit down with your partner and explain that while you are serious about becoming vegan too, it can take most people a long time to unlearn all the things we were taught throughout our lives in regard to eating animal products.
Something I thought of as I was typing this message that he could do for you is celebrate your milestones with you. For example, if when you go out for pizza and you choose a vegetarian pizza, he could buy you a drink and celebrate and congratulate you on choosing a pizza without meat on it. Every small step is a victory and should be celebrated. If you celebrate your wins together, however small they may seem, it may make the process a lot more joyous and fun.
If you are still on Facebook, there are also many Facebook groups you can join that can support you along your journey. The internet and social media are great tools for support and encouragement. You could also try a vegan challenge like Challenge 22 or Veganuary. Those challenges give you lots of support, recipe ideas, and easily digestible information.
I really hope these suggestions help you on your journey! And if nothing else, know that I am here cheering you on. You got this!

 

[Lou]

This thread has been dormant for over 2 years.
@ellaxo has also been dormant for about that long. I wonder what happened to her.

But even more disturbing @Calliegirl , @Stardust1986 and @Danielle , who had been regular forum contributors went silent about that time too.