Lol? Why do I keep attracting douchebags?!

Flowrydabae

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It's always a specific type of guy who will approach me, and that's the thuggish urban "I get b*****s, I get money, I sell/do drugs lowkey" type of guy where they've got their pants sagging and chains hanging. Like, I don't understand. I stopped dressing like a thot years ago, and I still attract the New York City pimps. I don't understand. Is it just the way my body looks? I can't help the way my body looks.
 

Poppy

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While you can't always control who is attracted to you, you can deliberately put yourself in places where you are more likely to interact with the kinds of people you think you'd like to meet. If you're not into the party type, visit museums or art galleries, animal shelters, sign up for vegan cooking/smoothie making/no-waste cooking demos at health food stores or vegan restaurants, learn to climb/kayak/play pickleball, or spend an evening in a dry bar (I hear they have them in NYC). Or just do something to take your mind off the situation - take an art or pottery class, learn another language or ASL, learn to train cats (ok, we know that's not possible, obviously I meant dogs), or be a Big Sister. You'll meet cool people doing cool things.
 

Nekodaiden

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In your short time here you've spent a considerable amount of your posts telling whoever's reading
how beautiful you are, how men are impressed with it and how you can use it to sway them, your
plight of a beautiful damsel in distress, and how you are annoyed when you get unwanted attention
from men because they can't resist how hot you are.

In addition you've stated you are interested in a sugar daddy.

Whether conscious or not, I'd say you're looking for attention, your looks the selling point for that attention.
If that isn't true, and all your not so subtle hints are purely innocent and coincidental, then my suggestions are
as follows:

1. A Burka
2. A fat man suit, tailored for a female.
3. Odour de fish. The hint of a yeast infection is a man repellent. Though I'm not sure where this might be obtained outside
a fish monger and some rubbing action.
 
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Flowrydabae

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In your short time here you've spent a considerable amount of your posts telling whoever's reading
how beautiful you are, how men are impressed with it and how you can use it to sway them, your
plight of a beautiful damsel in distress, and how you are annoyed when you get unwanted attention
from men because they can't resist how hot you are.

In addition you've stated you are interested in a sugar daddy.

Whether conscious or not, I'd say you're looking for attention, your looks the selling point for that attention.
If that isn't true, and all your not so subtle hints are purely innocent and coincidental, then my suggestions are
as follows:

1. A Burka
2. A fat man suit, tailored for a female.
3. Odour de fish. The hint of a yeast infection is a man repellent. Though I'm not sure where this might be obtained outside
a fish monger and some rubbing action.
That's really not fair. Half of the posts you read had me adding disclaimers where I said I was joking around. Also, attention shaming isn't polite because we're all technically looking for some kind or amount of attention on this forum. You posted this comment to get my attention after all, so that proves my point that we're all trying to get attention to a degree. On that note, my threads and responses are for people with a little sense of humour. If you don't like my posts, just politely block me instead of trying to tell me who I am as if you know me better than I do. It's just not nice, and it's quite offensive to try and tell someone who they are.
 
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Poppy

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That's really not fair. Half of the posts you read had me adding disclaimers where I said I was joking around. Also, attention shaming isn't polite because we're all technically looking for some kind or amount of attention on this forum. You posted this comment to get my attention after all, so that proves my point that we're all trying to get attention to a degree. On that note, my threads and responses are for people with a little sense of humour. If you don't like my posts, just politely block me instead of trying to tell me who I am as if you know me better than I do. It's just not nice, and it's quite offensive to try and tell someone who they are.

Actually I thought Nekodaiden's response was quite fair, and answering with a similar response was my initial reaction, but I don't have the easy humor he does and my response wouldn't have been nearly as clever. That being said, I know it's easy to be misinterpreted online, and in real life. And perhaps that's what has happened. Maybe your sense of humor isn't coming across as much as you think it is. Whatever the case, requesting that you be ignored through blocking just because someone doesn't get you the way you want to be got seems drastic. Blocking stifles communication and from time to time this forum has some difficult subjects to explore.
 
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Flowrydabae

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Actually I thought Nekodaiden's response was quite fair, and answering with a similar response was my initial reaction, but I don't have the easy humor he does and my response wouldn't have been nearly as clever. That being said, I know it's easy to be misinterpreted online, and in real life. And perhaps that's what has happened. Maybe your sense of humor isn't coming across as much as you think it is. Whatever the case, requesting that you be ignored through blocking just because someone doesn't get you the way you want to be got seems drastic. Blocking stifles communication and from time to time this forum has some difficult subjects to explore.
It's not about having a second opinion. It's about the way that opinion is being delivered. This is the second time you've had something to say to me that was in contrast to how I feel, and implied you don't appreciate my content here on this forum. If you both don't like my content, please block me instead of following every post I make just to subtly insult me. It doesn't make sense to read a person's content that doesn't interest you. With that being said, I'm done speaking to you. I'm not the person to argue or start fights.
 
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Flowrydabae

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Hi Courtney, have you tried going to any of the local vegan Meetups again?
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No! I have work to do in the city! I'm moreso focused on my career, and just being me and stuff. I don't know...you guys must be so happy to have found someone you love. Ugh. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I just don't.
 

Poppy

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It's not about having a second opinion. It's about the way that opinion is being delivered. This is the second time you've had something to say to me that was in contrast to how I feel, and implied you don't appreciate my content here on this forum. If you both don't like my content, please block me instead of following every post I make just to subtly insult me. It doesn't make sense to read a person's content that doesn't interest you. With that being said, I'm done speaking to you. I'm not the person to argue or start fights.

Since you're active and I'm active here, it's hard to avoid each other. I very rarely choose to block, mainly because I am sincerely interested in what most people have to say here, whether I agree with them or not. In most cases, after reading that someone has completely misinterpreted me, I would say that I'm sorry, but I suspect you construct your posts to play the passive aggressive card and I find that manipulative. I will do this, though, I will try my best not to respond to your posts regarding how you see yourself socially, since that seems to be the trigger to the tension you perceive.
 
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Forest Nymph

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The men who approach me are always insincere "nice guys." At least you get douchebag transparency. Men who like me know they have to be good boys and act accordingly, until they don't have to. And I don't mean that like I'm some princess/queen type with impossible standards, I mean they fail in very basic, basic ways.

There is one genuinely nice man who has liked me for a while who even worked with factory farms and understands first hand everything literally wrong with our country, but he also has some mildly intellectual disabilities so I just love him so much as a person but wouldn't feel right about being romantically involved with him. He's smart enough to go to college, but he's obviously sustained some sort of head injury.

These are my choices. "Pretending to be nice guy" and genuinely nice person with a mild intellectual disability.

This is why people live in the city, but it sounds like you do live in the city, which is funny. Not that it's funny that you have bad luck, but when I lived in LA I was always involved with Men With Money. Older Men With Money always had an agenda, and even the Young Man With Money I dated had some serious personal issues. LA people are just generally very shallow people. My Jewish older lady friend said I'd never meet my "beshert" in LA, and he was certainly in the rolling pastures of Northern California. MMMMMMmmmmm.

I always see these married people like "so glad I'm not dating anymore" and I'm always like "I'm old enough that I should be making that statement."
 
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Forest Nymph

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No! I have work to do in the city! I'm moreso focused on my career, and just being me and stuff. I don't know...you guys must be so happy to have found someone you love. Ugh. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I just don't.

Ok you've got to make some concessions. You can't keep doing the same thing you've always done because you'll get the same thing you've always gotten. You can't just "focus on your career" and "be me" and then complain you're meeting uggos (and by uggos, I mean inner uggos too).

What you're doing wrong is not putting effort specifically into meeting nicer men, which you could do by making time for meet-ups. Like I could do by moving to the Bay Area where I know there's lots of vegans or animal rights activists who I would be able to have a relationship with.

I wanted it to work here. I so did. But you're in NEW YORK. Go to a Brooklyn vegan meet-up.
 
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Transformation

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Hello, I've scrolled through the thread and I'd like to say that everyone we attract into our lives is a reflection of ourselves at some level and the answer to your question lies within you, no one can answer it for you and perhaps you know it, but want to be told what you'd like to hear? Don't take me the wrong way, I don't mean to be judgmental. But speaking from my own experience, so often we know the answer, but pretend not to to then try and give our power of solving our issues to other people, and that certainly doesn't work. The best tip I can give you is treat others how you'd like to be treated, be kind and honest and in return you'll attract people with that same traits. Your reality is a reflection of how you feel about yourself: thoughts->beliefs->action=reality

I just wanted to tell you you're beautiful regardless of whatever or however you may see yourself, so go for self-improvement and everything else will improve. :)
 

Snert

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It's always a specific type of guy who will approach me, and that's the thuggish urban "I get b*****s, I get money, I sell/do drugs lowkey" type of guy where they've got their pants sagging and chains hanging. Like, I don't understand. I stopped dressing like a thot years ago, and I still attract the New York City pimps. I don't understand. Is it just the way my body looks? I can't help the way my body looks.

Hi, looking at the age on your profile, I have to say that it will take time. You're going to meet quite a few idiots before you get someone who you will actually get along with for any length of time. Even then, you have to go through some sh*t with someone before you find out who they really are. I don't want to be Mr. Negative, but over the years I've seen many of my female friends put up with d***heads way longer than they should have rather than wait for someone suitable to come along. Like someone else said, you need to put yourself in a position where you are likely to meet the kind of person you are likely to be attracted to. Don't stress - it's not a competition, and you have time on your side. Just be smart about it. Good luck! :)