Has the bubble burst ? Could these photos be for real ?
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/nigella-lawson-attacked-husband-see-1955564
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/nigella-lawson-attacked-husband-see-1955564
UK Lawson - Saatchi. Domestic Abuse in Public ?
- Thread starter shyvas
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OP
OP
Nobody intervened
Also gross article.
This is also what shocked me. Does it mean that the rich and famous can get away with virtually anything ?
yally
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I don't know, I think a lot of people just feel like these things are none of their business, even if they weren't famous.
The restaurant had a responsibility to do something and possibly call the police.
Callous people who will sit there eating their lunch and not do anything. Even worse the photographers who'll take photos but not thing to call the police.
The restaurant had a responsibility to do something and possibly call the police.
Callous people who will sit there eating their lunch and not do anything. Even worse the photographers who'll take photos but not thing to call the police.
OP
OP
I don't know, I think a lot of people just feel like these things are none of their business, even if they weren't famous.
The restaurant had a responsibility to do something and possibly call the police.
Callous people who will sit there eating their lunch and not do anything. Even worse the photographers who'll take photos but not thing to call the police.
I agree that getting involved when there is a minor incident is not your business. However abuse and possible 'choking' is one's business.
This reminds me of woman getting raped in crowded trains and nobody budging !!!!!
ledboots
Peace
I am thinking that the table is not visible to most patrons because of all that greenery. However, the photographer, whether it was a professional or not, should at the very least have called the police while snapping the shots. I showed those pictures to my son and husband, and they both stood up from their breakfast chairs.
Isn't the natural reaction to help? As a nurse of stressed couples with newborns, sometimes all it took to defuse a situation is walking over and distracting. Some bad stuff did happen, though, that no one could help. But no one was taking photos of those incidents; that what makes me so sick about this story, really.
I wonder if she will stay with him.
OP
OP
I read that she had a violent mother when she was younger.Years ago I saw a woman being slapped across the face by a man in a bar and I was the only person who went over to her even though the bar was packed with people and there were bouncers standing about a foot away from her and they didn't even move.
ledboots
Peace
You put that in quotes, you don't think he was choking her? Look at her eyes bulging in that one photo. Her respirations were being interfered with.
I put chokes in quotes because her actions of sitting there and taking it in a public place without trying to flee or scream for help are in direct contradiction to what looks like is happening. My whole point was the bystanders are getting mixed signals and this is why there is inaction on their part.
And no, I can't say with certainty from looking at the photos what her respiratory distress was, it certainly looks like she is being choked, but I am a layman when it comes to these matters, let alone knowing absolutely nothing about domestic violence to boot.
Calliegirl
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Can't the police use the photos as evidence and charge him with assault or domestic abuse, even if she doesn't press charges?
Clueless Git
Plant powered
Blokes a fool!
If a woman pisses you off so much that you want to strangle her in public - Just leave her, FFS!
And vice-versa, obviously.
If a woman pisses you off so much that you want to strangle her in public - Just leave her, FFS!
And vice-versa, obviously.
Part of what makes some people hesitate to intervene is probably the fear that you might actually escalate the level of abuse once the people are in private. That's always my concern when I see someone being ugly with a child, when what is happening is not sufficient for child protective services to intervene. I try to deflect the situation rather than intervening directly, lest I make the situation ultimately worse for the child.
In this case, even if it had been reported, the man might well have claimed he was play acting, or demonstrating to the woman something he had observed, and the woman may well have supported his story.
Unfortunately, in situations of domestic abuse, neither the abuser nor the one being abused generally considers the effect of their actions on others in the family, especially their children. Both the abuser and the abused are modeling unhealthy behavior that will have consequences in the lives of their children. In this case, where the abuser and the abused are in the public eye, they are both modeling unhealthy behavior to a much wider audience, and are sending the message that it's O.K. to abuse and the message that it's O.K. to stay in an abusive relationship. That's a shame. They are both doing damage that ripples out well beyond their immediate circle.
In this case, even if it had been reported, the man might well have claimed he was play acting, or demonstrating to the woman something he had observed, and the woman may well have supported his story.
Unfortunately, in situations of domestic abuse, neither the abuser nor the one being abused generally considers the effect of their actions on others in the family, especially their children. Both the abuser and the abused are modeling unhealthy behavior that will have consequences in the lives of their children. In this case, where the abuser and the abused are in the public eye, they are both modeling unhealthy behavior to a much wider audience, and are sending the message that it's O.K. to abuse and the message that it's O.K. to stay in an abusive relationship. That's a shame. They are both doing damage that ripples out well beyond their immediate circle.
OP
OP
The police are investigating the incidence as Saatchi says it was only a 'playful tiff' !!!!!.
A woman who helps women who suffer domestic abuse was on the news and says that it is a serious matter. Many woman are abused by their partners, either, physically, mentally or emotionally. She than added that the police should always be called if someone witnesses abuse towards women.
http://news.sky.com/story/1104528/nigella-saatchi-calls-row-a-playful-tiff
SummerRain
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
I think it's always difficult to know when to intervene because it's often difficult to gauge exactly what's going on - is it serious or messing about/play fighting? Are these people strangers, friends, enemies? Is one person beating up another person, or are they both fighting each other? Combine that with worry about escalating the situation or being hurt yourself and I think it's easy to see how people can see a situation of abuse and not step in. Although I also think a lot of people just don't want to get involved... in that case it's sad that people have so little concern for others.
Some of the comments I've seen around this news story make me very angry. I've seen comments blaming Nigella for not reporting the incident, because she's in the public eye and has a responsibility not to condone such things. Seriously. Why are people always so eager to blame victims, rather than oh I don't know the man with his hands around her neck... I think maybe part of it is if you think oh the victim shouldn't have done this it's easier to convince yourself it can't happen to you. Oh if it were me, I'd go to the police, so therefore I'll never get in that situation. I guess it is a sort of protective mechanism to stop people feeling afraid, but one that's really destructive to wider society and victims of abuse/attacks/etc.
Some of the comments I've seen around this news story make me very angry. I've seen comments blaming Nigella for not reporting the incident, because she's in the public eye and has a responsibility not to condone such things. Seriously. Why are people always so eager to blame victims, rather than oh I don't know the man with his hands around her neck... I think maybe part of it is if you think oh the victim shouldn't have done this it's easier to convince yourself it can't happen to you. Oh if it were me, I'd go to the police, so therefore I'll never get in that situation. I guess it is a sort of protective mechanism to stop people feeling afraid, but one that's really destructive to wider society and victims of abuse/attacks/etc.
Very interesting talk on TED that I ran across and watched last week, discussing almost exactly this, IMO well worth the watch.
www.ted.com/talks/jackson_katz_violence_against_women_it_s_a_men_s_issue.html
The problem with that is that it is not solely a men's issue. It happens to men too, albeit physical violence directed at men by women happens so much less frequently, and very rarely as violently.
I don't discount the early conditioning that so many women get that results in "accepting" domestic violence perpetrated against them. However, the mirror image of that is that boys who grow up in that kind of environment are exposed to conditioning too. Are we actually going to argue that females are more prone to conditioning than males?
I know, both from observation and firsthand experience, how one can become acclimated to a bad relationship because things start out O.K. and escalate so gradually that one doesn't fully realize what's happening.
I also know that many people are not in a financial position to get out of a bad relationship easily.
However, Ms. Lawson is a mature woman in her fifties with a flourishing career and a great deal of wealth. She can't be oblivious to the harm it is doing and has done to her children to grow up in this kind of environment.
I'm sorry that she's so damaged that she is unwilling to walk away from this kind of abuse, but I think that the real victims of all of this are her children and her husband's child. Saatchi is a piece of violent scum, but Ms. Lawson is at least partially responsible for the harm that has been and continues to be done to their children. A weak parent is not a good parent.
I don't discount the early conditioning that so many women get that results in "accepting" domestic violence perpetrated against them. However, the mirror image of that is that boys who grow up in that kind of environment are exposed to conditioning too. Are we actually going to argue that females are more prone to conditioning than males?
I know, both from observation and firsthand experience, how one can become acclimated to a bad relationship because things start out O.K. and escalate so gradually that one doesn't fully realize what's happening.
I also know that many people are not in a financial position to get out of a bad relationship easily.
However, Ms. Lawson is a mature woman in her fifties with a flourishing career and a great deal of wealth. She can't be oblivious to the harm it is doing and has done to her children to grow up in this kind of environment.
I'm sorry that she's so damaged that she is unwilling to walk away from this kind of abuse, but I think that the real victims of all of this are her children and her husband's child. Saatchi is a piece of violent scum, but Ms. Lawson is at least partially responsible for the harm that has been and continues to be done to their children. A weak parent is not a good parent.
Clueless Git
Plant powered
Sometimes it is hard to tell when people do, or don't, think violence is appropriate when something/one makes them very angry.
