I'm the only vegan I know

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I think it had something to do with the judgment 🙄 . Not sure who here meets their definition of 'vegan'. Maybe someone in the vegan pets thread.
It's not my definition, it's the definition, according to the Vegan society: "Veganism is a way of living which seeks to exclude, as far as is possible and practicable, all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing, or any other purpose."

If someone said to you, "I have a bottle of wine." And you said, "Oh, that's actually grape juice - I know it's seems similar, but it's actually quite different," would that be judgement? Definitions are important. That's why we have a differentiation between vegan and plant-based. They seem similar, and like wine and grape juice, have a lot in common, but they are distinctly different.

If I come onto a vegan forum, I expect to hear from other vegans. I came here for support because I don't have any vegans IRL to talk to and I was desperate to connect with others who could relate. Instead, the replies I received just furthered the predicament I was hoping to receive support for: feeling alone and having others view my ethical choices as too extreme. It was tremendously disappointing and I feel more alone than ever.
 

Michael UK

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Why don't you join the reddit vegan forum. I find its discussions more black and white, and less nuanced than over here. You're more likely to receive the support you need: r/vegan
 
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PTree15

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It's not my definition, it's the definition, according to the Vegan society: "Veganism is a way of living which seeks to exclude, as far as is possible and practicable, all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing, or any other purpose."

If someone said to you, "I have a bottle of wine." And you said, "Oh, that's actually grape juice - I know it's seems similar, but it's actually quite different," would that be judgement? Definitions are important. That's why we have a differentiation between vegan and plant-based. They seem similar, and like wine and grape juice, have a lot in common, but they are distinctly different.

If I come onto a vegan forum, I expect to hear from other vegans. I came here for support because I don't have any vegans IRL to talk to and I was desperate to connect with others who could relate. Instead, the replies I received just furthered the predicament I was hoping to receive support for: feeling alone and having others view my ethical choices as too extreme. It was tremendously disappointing and I feel more alone than ever.
You are hearing from other vegans. The definition of veganism that you quoted includes the phrase "as far as is possible and practicable," which is a pretty broad phrase, as it means different things to different people. It's an out clause, basically, that relieves people from perfectionism/purity, which is unattainable no matter how you slice it. And there is nothing wrong with that. That phrase offers a range of what is possible and practicable. There are people who live in food deserts, for instance, who don't have access to affordable fresh fruit and vegetables or the financial means to be so selective about their diets. It's not as black and white as you portray it. There are things humans do just by existing that harm animals, and in many cases, those things are unavoidable. That is the reality of the world we live in. But what we can do is lead by example, live the best vegan life possible and get involved in animal rights activities.

I'm sorry that you didn't find the support you were looking for. Most of us don't have other vegans in our off-line lives, either, so this is indeed a place of support.
 
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I'm sorry that you didn't find the support you were looking for. Most of us don't have other vegans in our off-line lives, either, so this is indeed a place of support.

If this were indeed a place of support, I would be supported. Instead, I've been mocked, judged, and critiqued. The few people who weren't outright critical had nothing supportive to say. This isn't a supportive community.
 
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PTree15

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If this were indeed a place of support, I would be supported. Instead, I've been mocked, judged, and critiqued. The few people who weren't outright critical had nothing supportive to say. This isn't a supportive community.
No, you just have encountered some people who might disagree with your point of view and are challenging it with their points of view. This is also a discussion board, so people are going to discuss.
 
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Chickenmammalover

Some people think I'm a hypocrit because I am not cuddly with cats and dogs. They say things like you are a vegetarian/vegan aren't you supposed to love animals! I try to explain that I like animals enough to not kill them but not enough to be costantly stroking and cooing over them. This seems to me to be perfectly logically and consistent. Depending on my mood I might then ask them how it is consistent that they cuddle some animals and eat others!
 

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If this were indeed a place of support, I would be supported. Instead, I've been mocked, judged, and critiqued. The few people who weren't outright critical had nothing supportive to say. This isn't a supportive community.

Read through this thread again. It is you mocking, judging and being critical, it is you alienating others with your extreme definition of veganism. Do you remember the 'practicable and possible' bit about the definition of veganism? As I said earlier, I am now 100% vegan, I do not consume or use any animal products - my wife has just dyed her hair and took great care to choose a vegan hair dye from Amazon, oh, and she took delivery of a pair of vegan shoes the other day. Yet despite all this, you told me that I was not a vegan, simply because my sons do not wish to follow this path and so I have to provide alternative meals for them - I am not about to start a war within my household and make life a misery for everyone by enforcing a vegan diet on my sons. (who's judging and critiquing whom now?) - it's called pragmatism and falls under that part of the definition you so conveniently ignore: 'practicable and possible'. It is you who is clearly not accepting the textbook definition of veganism and leaving out the bits that you don't like, and mocking others for not being like you.

You have received good advice from people here, but choose to ignore it completely because it doesn't suit your 'high standards' and prefer instead to sit in judgement on others. I wish you well in your pursuit of perfection, but please don't sneer at people who are simply trying their hardest and doing their best.

One final thing. Support is not always about telling a person what they want to hear. It's not always about offering a virtual hug. It's not always about agreeing with someone in order to make them feel better. Often it's about telling them what they need to hear, whether they agree with it or not. And when someone does give you advice that you disagree with, try to reflect on what they're saying, Step back and perhaps consider whether they just might have a point.
 
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edde

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Being vegan is like being an atheist, a introvert or homosexual. Some personal preferences are usually perceived akward considering that many people are not open minded. To avoid being judged or ignored, most individuals choose to conform (join the crowd) or be discreet (do things secretly). That is why you may not come across a vegan that easily out there. Luckily, as a member of this forum you can interact and even meetup with a fellow vegan. And make a point to eat out in local vegan restaurants where you can readily meet and befriend other vegans.
 
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Read through this thread again. It is you mocking, judging and being critical, it is you alienating others with your extreme definition of veganism. Do you remember the 'practicable and possible' bit about the definition of veganism? As I said earlier, I am now 100% vegan, I do not consume or use any animal products - my wife has just dyed her hair and took great care to choose a vegan hair dye from Amazon, oh, and she took delivery of a pair of vegan shoes the other day. Yet despite all this, you told me that I was not a vegan, simply because my sons do not wish to follow this path and so I have to provide alternative meals for them - I am not about to start a war within my household and make life a misery for everyone by enforcing a vegan diet on my sons. (who's judging and critiquing whom now?) - it's called pragmatism and falls under that part of the definition you so conveniently ignore: 'practicable and possible'. It is you who is clearly not accepting the textbook definition of veganism and leaving out the bits that you don't like, and mocking others for not being like you.

You have received good advice from people here, but choose to ignore it completely because it doesn't suit your 'high standards' and prefer instead to sit in judgement on others. I wish you well in your pursuit of perfection, but please don't sneer at people who are simply trying their hardest and doing their best.

One final thing. Support is not always about telling a person what they want to hear. It's not always about offering a virtual hug. It's not always about agreeing with someone in order to make them feel better. Often it's about telling them what they need to hear, whether they agree with it or not. And when someone does give you advice that you disagree with, try to reflect on what they're saying, Step back and perhaps consider whether they just might have a point.

There are many things I could say in argument of your points, but that's not why I came here. I'm not here to defend myself or argue about veganism or convince anyone to do anything. Stating facts and being judgemental are not the same thing. You seem to have them confused. I came here seeking support. I didn't post here for a lecture or to make anyone feel defensive. I posted for encouragement and to hear from others who were going through something similar. It doesn't seem to matter because no one here seems to be a terribly good listener/reader. I wish you could take your own advice. Remember when you post that there is a real person on the other end reading your words.
 
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VeganPoet

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It is cognitive dissonance, which is Standard Operating Procedure for humans. I've been vegan for 23 years, and my family has not taken advantage of my expertise in this area, choosing instead to remain Creeple. I have helped turn a few people vegan, for example, my Ex and her mother. Like you I am an extremely emotional being, an artist, and I always have felt like a different species, even before becoming enlightened about the cosmos. 99% of people do not have any critical thinking skills, and regurgitate popular ideas and ways of doing things out of fear. It is evolutionary herd psychology.

Your heart is beautiful, and you are right and they are wrong, no matter what they say. Have you read John Robbins? As a a kid he was being groomed to take over the Baskin Robbins ice cream goliath, yet he chose a very different path, writing Diet For A New America, and helping jumpstart the vegan revolution - no one could understand what you are talking about more than him. And he is very inspiring in how he stays positive, even eventually influencing his father, which is no small feat. Finding inspiration from other vegans, even if it is not in person, helps a bit. But no matter what it is challenging to be so emotionally tuned in, enlightened, because the facades crumbles away and the propaganda and brainwashing becomes obnoxious in its obviousness - like Roddy Piper in the cheesy sci-fi classic They Live:
)

Anyway, hugs from this vegan weirdo, know that you are NOT alone!




I don't understand how people can live such contradictory lives. They are such hypocrites. As if that weren't bad enough, they all attack me for being, "too extreme."
 
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