I'm struggling with my boyfriend not becoming vegan

[KLS52]

I think it makes a difference when you are already in a serious committed relationship and then become vegetarian/vegan, as opposed to being single and deciding ahead of time that you only want a vegetarian or vegan as a partner.
If you are in a healthy loving relationship and decide to “change the rules”, so to speak, you need to decide what’s more important to you. I can’t imagine leaving someone I’ve been with for a long time because they aren’t interested in changing along with me. With regard to raising children, there needs to be some serious discussion and compromise.

 

[Flowrydabae]

He has to wanna change himself. You can do everything you can to show him how great the lifestyle is, but if you think you can't get past it then just leave him. I mean, I would. I can't speak for what other vegans would do, and I'm totally okay with what vegans would do that's opposite to what I'd do, but I know I wouldn't get passed my S/O not being like me. I know a lot of people don't look at relationships like this, but for me, my S/O is a reflection of me and everything I stand for and support. If I'm dating a pessimistic Nazi who just hates everyone then that probably means I'm totally okay with him being like that. (Again, I know that's probably a stretched way of thinking, but that's just me. Also, because I know I'll probably be taken out of context, I'm not comparing meat eaters to pessimistic Nazis).

 

[Pradeep soni]

I would say do consider seriously how important being vegan is for you and whether you can abide by the person sharing the rest of your life not sharing your core values. Might be this is not an issue for you („Ah, true love is much more important“), but might also be it could be very important for you („I also would not want to live with a person who is racist“).

Do not do one thing, however: Do NOT enter a relationship with a non-vegan thinking „Oh, they will see the light and come around one day“. While it can happen- and I am genuinely happy for everybody who has this experience- that your partner learns from your example, it can also very often not be the case, in which case you would be setting yourself up for disappointment and your significant other for unrealistic expectations.

How do I know that? When I met my wife 20 years ago, I was a happy-go-lucky vegetarian and happy if I got my own veggies (and lots of eggs and cheese, of course), but did not care much about what others did. Also, I did not closely know a single other vegetarian in my whole life then, so it was either dating a meat-eater or joining a cloister. However, when I then went vegan about 9 years ago, I became aware of animal rights and it suddenly became much more important for me whether other people continued to murder animals or not. So while my wife is very supportive of my veganism, I am still very sad that she and our kids continue to partake in the murder of animals for food. And they have been experiencing my example for 9 years now, yet still show no inclination to join me.

You are still young and free, make your choice

Good thoughts Andy

 

[katiefarley]

Hi! your opinion seems relevant to my dissertation research - please could you complete my survey?

Meat and Masculinity - Exploring the emergence of hyper masculine veganism

 

[FredVegrox]

I still look. It is much less likely as I worry about keeping distance and to avoid exposure to COVID, and I am just older. But still I would not be happy with any woman who won't also be vegan with me. So it is conclusive that any with whom I find that opportunity would be, and still I would not want to be with any who never would be vegan, while there is still more needed for compatibility, as I have found out.