I hate me tonight

Joined
Jan 18, 2018
Reaction score
36
Age
37
Location
Southern California
Lifestyle
  1. Vegetarian
The last few weeks have been insanely stressful in life and work. I've been trying my best to keep my **** together, but tonight I made a mistake and I'm trying really hard not to totally hate myself for it.

I work 10+ hour days and then drive about 90 minutes each way between work and home. Today was a bad day at work. Tonight, there were two accidents along the way, so it took me almost 2.5 hours to get home. There's a fast food place right at my freeway exit, and I've learned exactly what I can order that's veg-friendly. I've gone there numerous times and they've always been perfect and accommodating.

Tonight, I went through the drive-thru and ordered the veg-version I get whenever I go. When I got home, I all but fell apart, and was so ready to just jump into my pjs and eat my dinner. I took a big bite, swallowed, and started zoning out instantly. Halfway through eating (I was eating a lot faster than I should've been), I realized it didn't taste normal—I look down and see that they had made a mistake and there was bacon in my meal.

I was angry, and super disappointed that I had eaten so much of it before becoming conscious to what was going on. Now I feel like I've failed (this is the first time I've had meat since August) because I didn't check it before I left the drive thru (but they've never gotten it wrong before, so I didn't feel like I had to) and because it took me so long to realize what I had done.

I feel sick, and I'm not sure if that's literally from the meat or just a mental thing. But this has just made a bad day feel even worse... I'm probably being overly dramatic, but all I want to do now it just shut out the world and sleep until New Years (but alas, I have to work tomorrow).

Have you ever had an experience like this? How can I forgive myself?
 
I have had a sort of similar experience. I ordered a salad without the bacon that usually comes on it. After eating about half the salad, I found a piece of bacon, and I realized that there were more pieces in there. I may have eaten one of the pieces by accident, but I am not sure. I know I only ate one piece, if any, but I was really mad.

You tried to get the vegetarian version. They gave you the wrong order. I don't consider you at fault here, though maybe checking would be good next time. It's unfortunate that you should have to check and that restaurants are not more aware of the impact of their mistakes, but sadly a lot of times a person does need to check. You haven't failed. It was a mistake, which I don't even think you're at fault for.
 
I think you and others worry too much about this kind of thing, you seem like a great person to me, I would try not to worry about it and not feel guilty. You didn't cause any animal suffering at all, and did nothing wrong. I hope you'll feel better soon!
 
I think you and others worry too much about this kind of thing, you seem like a great person to me, I would try not to worry about it and not feel guilty. You didn't cause any animal suffering at all, and did nothing wrong. I hope you'll feel better soon!

Is this the kettle calling the pot black?

Take Jaime's advice. This is a guy who worries about his toothpaste. :)
 
No reason at all to beat yourself up over this.

to err is human

I think that it's just not practicable to rigorously check every single thing we eat

sorry that you had a bad day
 
Thank you everyone.

I turned off all my electronics, cuddled up with a book, and went to bed early(ish) last night. This morning, I feel a lot better (mentally and physically). I appreciate the support so much!

It would be nice not to have to check every single thing we eat. I avoid so many places now because I just feel unsure of how certain they are about whether or not something is vegan, but am very grateful for the places that take care to provide vegan options.

Going to full-on vegan restaurants is my favorite thing, because I can look at the entire menu and not have to worry about it at all. :)
 
Several years ago when I was vegetarian I went through the drive thru at taco bell while I was inebriated (don't worry I wasn't driving) and ordered the vegetarian (not even vegan) version of a burrito supreme that I had been ordering since high school.

Since I was drunk and hungry I took a couple bites of burrito before I realized that they had given me no beans with double meat instead of no meat with double beans...It had never happened to me before and I was confused and in shock. I ended up throwing it up.

If you were super tired, hungry and stressed that's close to being intoxicated haha maybe not in a good way but in a way that you wouldn't be paying attention.

Don't beat yourself up. It happens.
 
I'm sorry you were given the wrong order. As others have pointed out you shouldn't HAVE to check. The people at the drive through should get the order right.

Don't beat yourself up about it. It wasn't your fault if you ordered the vegan option. Just double check next time. Even though it shouldn't really be necessary.
 
I once ordered a pizza for delivery - a local spot has a vegan option completely with vegan cheese if you want it. What I ordered was 1/2 vegan cheese, 1/2 NO cheese, which I communicated extremely clearly since that previous time I had neglected to be explicit and they thought I meant 1/2 vegan cheese, and the rest regular cheese. What they delivered was exactly what I did not want --- not what I ordered. You could tell the side with regular cheese because of how it melts. Neither my son nor I eat cheese... I called them back and they re-delivered it - as ordered. I kinda felt bad, but really it was not my mistake. I have made a mistake with a 'pseudo-vegan' cheese that they have at Trader Joe's - it's really lactose-free or something like that, but it definitely has milk in it. Sadly this ended up in the trash b/c TJ's is just too far of a drive to return it. I kick myself every single time I buy something packaged and neglect to check the label. :(
 
The last few weeks have been insanely stressful in life and work. I've been trying my best to keep my **** together, but tonight I made a mistake and I'm trying really hard not to totally hate myself for it.

I work 10+ hour days and then drive about 90 minutes each way between work and home. Today was a bad day at work. Tonight, there were two accidents along the way, so it took me almost 2.5 hours to get home. There's a fast food place right at my freeway exit, and I've learned exactly what I can order that's veg-friendly. I've gone there numerous times and they've always been perfect and accommodating.

Tonight, I went through the drive-thru and ordered the veg-version I get whenever I go. When I got home, I all but fell apart, and was so ready to just jump into my pjs and eat my dinner. I took a big bite, swallowed, and started zoning out instantly. Halfway through eating (I was eating a lot faster than I should've been), I realized it didn't taste normal—I look down and see that they had made a mistake and there was bacon in my meal.

I was angry, and super disappointed that I had eaten so much of it before becoming conscious to what was going on. Now I feel like I've failed (this is the first time I've had meat since August) because I didn't check it before I left the drive thru (but they've never gotten it wrong before, so I didn't feel like I had to) and because it took me so long to realize what I had done.

I feel sick, and I'm not sure if that's literally from the meat or just a mental thing. But this has just made a bad day feel even worse... I'm probably being overly dramatic, but all I want to do now it just shut out the world and sleep until New Years (but alas, I have to work tomorrow).

Have you ever had an experience like this? How can I forgive myself?
Hi ,
Try not to worry too much or beat yourself up. Not many people are 100% vegan. I’m, maybe, 95% vegan. I do eat some dairy sometimes, and I have been known to eat donut that almost certainly wasn’t vegan. I’m also a passionate animal rights advocate, often signing and starting online petitions, donating to charities, buying in charity shops, going to a certain annual animal rights event, going to a vegan market, buying cruelty-free products and drawing for animals. I’m even forgoing Oreos (something I used to really like/love), at least partly because of palm oil. Not many human beings are perfect. Always do your best, but all you can do is your best.
As for the sickness, if it persists for longer than a week and/or your symptoms worsen, consult your doctor and/or go to a walk-in centre. Looking up online for advice may also be of use, but please only trust reliable, good websites, wbesites and articles with those who are medically trained.
As for stress, try to be kind to yourself. Place yourself as equally important as everyone else (including non-humans). Please also try meditation ‍♀️, relaxation exercises, aromatherapy and doing things that you enjoy (not too much comfort eating though!). If it gets really bad, seek therapy. Please don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to seek therapy. Delaying needed therapy because of shame, embarrassment and/or stigma could lead to your mental health (and, quite possibly, your physical health) worsening and suffering unnecessarily.
Please get better soon. Please get as well as you can as soon as you can.
May you be perfectly well, healthy, happy and safe forever.
Have the best day and night ever!
Sending my care and best wishes,
Rory.