US I cant stay vegan anymore

[Urfavletter]

This is a update from a previous thread I wrote, if you want context I suggest you read my previous thread first. (This website keeps messing and kicking me out of my accounts, my previous acc is "love letter"you can find the info there)

TW: mentions of beating and hitting!!

As the tittle says I cannot stay vegan anymore.
The situation got worse. I thought I could manage however I can't.
My mom is getting fed up with cooking me seperate dishes and she says I should just eat everything she cooks. Of course i replied that I can cook my own seperate dishes if it stresses her out so much. But she said it was a ridiculous idea and insisted I eat everything she cooks.
She said if I continue with my diet she is never going to speak to me again nor pay for school, and that she is going to break my phone and send me to a psychiatrist.


Today my mom cooked sarma (a traditional food popular in my country which contains meat and pepper) And said I should eat it, I didn't argue because if I did she would hit me again.


I'm scared, I don't want to see my mom stressed or upset because then she gets angry and physical with me.
I could only switch into a vegetarian diet temporary until I leave the house and then go vegan.
But I'm not sure if that is what I should do. I don't want to hurt animals.
Either way I have no choice,I just don't want her to beat me again.
I am so sorry.

 

[Hope J.]

Can you move out on your own? If so i would suggest that. There is no reason that you need to put up with that abuse. Mentally or physically. I understand that shes your mom but she needs to try to see your end of it. Its your life.

 

[Kathy Lauren]

It will be a few years before you are able to live on your own. Until then, unfortunately, you will have to do whatever your parents require of you. Do whatever it takes to not get hit.

Just remember that it is not you that is making the choice to eat meat: it is your parents. Be clear in your own mind how you want to live your life when you are able to be independent. Hang in there!

 

[silva]

It certainly sounds like you're reasonable in simply wanting to NOT eat meat, and willing to make your own food, so the idea that you're getting abused really worries me.
What are other things that trigger her to abuse you?
Who else is in your life? Is there no one to turn to?

I do agree you should drop the discussion of food, and just do what you need to do. You aren't responsible for this, so please please try not to feel guilt. You can maybe write letters advocating animal rights, IF your mother won't find out.

I hope you will keep posting here! It's so hard to know what to suggest, but please don't let it get too bad before you reach out

 

[Amelia]

This is a update from a previous thread I wrote, if you want context I suggest you read my previous thread first. (This website keeps messing and kicking me out of my accounts, my previous acc is "love letter"you can find the info there)

TW: mentions of beating and hitting!!

As the tittle says I cannot stay vegan anymore.
The situation got worse. I thought I could manage however I can't.
My mom is getting fed up with cooking me seperate dishes and she says I should just eat everything she cooks. Of course i replied that I can cook my own seperate dishes if it stresses her out so much. But she said it was a ridiculous idea and insisted I eat everything she cooks.
She said if I continue with my diet she is never going to speak to me again nor pay for school, and that she is going to break my phone and send me to a psychiatrist.


Today my mom cooked sarma (a traditional food popular in my country which contains meat and pepper) And said I should eat it, I didn't argue because if I did she would hit me again.


I'm scared, I don't want to see my mom stressed or upset because then she gets angry and physical with me.
I could only switch into a vegetarian diet temporary until I leave the house and then go vegan.
But I'm not sure if that is what I should do. I don't want to hurt animals.
Either way I have no choice,I just don't want her to beat me again.
I am so sorry.

I'm in the same position you are. I might just be a little older than you are. I am also from Croatia so hello friend

My family are hunters and butchers , they also forbid me from being vegan. I fought like hell for 3 years for them to compromise and let me be vegetarian, im happy for that but i still want to be 100% vegan. And also said I am being ridiculous. I felt like we have the same mother when reading your post.

I hope both of our situations get better. All the best to you love

 

[Emma JC]

You are vegan in your heart and that is the most important place! the definition of the term veganism includes "where possible and practical" (or thereabouts) and it is currently not possible or practical for you!

I would suggest that when a meal is served you eat as little of the meat part as you can without making your mother angry and load up on the potatoes and veggies etc. Say a thank you, over the meal, to the animals that gave their life for the meal, and promise them/yourself (quietly in your head/heart) that you will not eat them when you are old enough to leave and to choose. Try to be grateful that you have food to eat and a place to live and know that 'this too shall pass'. I had nothing so difficult as you in my teenage years and yet from the age of 13 I also wished to be gone from my home and didn't make it out until I was 18. Looking back I am grateful for how I was raised as it turned me into the person that I am today, it was just 5 long years of wishing to be elsewhere. You can do this! The animals will forgive you and now you just have to forgive yourself and know that you are doing your best.

Emma JC
Find your vegan soulmate or just a friend. www.spiritualmatchmaking.com

 

[FlandersOD]

Just leave that family. seam to be the best course of action anyway.

 

[Grinning Hippos]

This is a update from a previous thread I wrote, if you want context I suggest you read my previous thread first. (This website keeps messing and kicking me out of my accounts, my previous acc is "love letter"you can find the info there)

TW: mentions of beating and hitting!!

As the tittle says I cannot stay vegan anymore.
The situation got worse. I thought I could manage however I can't.
My mom is getting fed up with cooking me seperate dishes and she says I should just eat everything she cooks. Of course i replied that I can cook my own seperate dishes if it stresses her out so much. But she said it was a ridiculous idea and insisted I eat everything she cooks.
She said if I continue with my diet she is never going to speak to me again nor pay for school, and that she is going to break my phone and send me to a psychiatrist.


Today my mom cooked sarma (a traditional food popular in my country which contains meat and pepper) And said I should eat it, I didn't argue because if I did she would hit me again.


I'm scared, I don't want to see my mom stressed or upset because then she gets angry and physical with me.
I could only switch into a vegetarian diet temporary until I leave the house and then go vegan.
But I'm not sure if that is what I should do. I don't want to hurt animals.
Either way I have no choice,I just don't want her to beat me again.
I am so sorry.

I am sorry for your situation. Your intentions are honourable and one day, you will be able to put them in practice, for the moment, you should try and avoid the arguments with your mom. Unfortunately, I think that this would happen in many households if the kids decided to go vegan. Perhaps it would have even happened to me. Think about it this way: veganism is not an option for the entire planet as there are people that depend on those resources ( small villages etc.) You are just in that category now - you do not wish to hurt animals, but you need to survive. So take a choice in anything else that you can influence and will not lead to an argument - when you buy a snack at school, your shoes, clothes etc. You are doing a great job and nothing to feel guilty of.

 

[Andy_T]

Hello, I emphasize very much with you.
Are there maybe other people in your family you could try to get on your side, so that they might take your side and support you?

 

[Rory17]

This is a update from a previous thread I wrote, if you want context I suggest you read my previous thread first. (This website keeps messing and kicking me out of my accounts, my previous acc is "love letter"you can find the info there)

TW: mentions of beating and hitting!!

As the tittle says I cannot stay vegan anymore.
The situation got worse. I thought I could manage however I can't.
My mom is getting fed up with cooking me seperate dishes and she says I should just eat everything she cooks. Of course i replied that I can cook my own seperate dishes if it stresses her out so much. But she said it was a ridiculous idea and insisted I eat everything she cooks.
She said if I continue with my diet she is never going to speak to me again nor pay for school, and that she is going to break my phone and send me to a psychiatrist.


Today my mom cooked sarma (a traditional food popular in my country which contains meat and pepper) And said I should eat it, I didn't argue because if I did she would hit me again.


I'm scared, I don't want to see my mom stressed or upset because then she gets angry and physical with me.
I could only switch into a vegetarian diet temporary until I leave the house and then go vegan.
But I'm not sure if that is what I should do. I don't want to hurt animals.
Either way I have no choice,I just don't want her to beat me again.
I am so sorry.

Do you know why your mom insists that you eat meat and is so opposed to veganism? Perhaps you could share that with us? It may enable us to help you more and give us more insight…
As hard as it might be, please don’t give up! You aren’t in a survival situation, where you need to eat meat in order to survive. Maybe you could try having her view videos of other young people your age who are vegan and happy and healthy, and have her read up on the health benefits of a nutritious, healthy and nutritionally adequate vegan diet, particularly for people of your age/race/gender?

 

[Deleted member 3018]

I'm sorry for your situation and I'm worried for your safety.
Thank you for coming here and asking for help.
Can you move to live with a relative or a friend?
You deserve a safe and healthy environment.
And you don't need to apologise. It's not your fault.

 

[VeganRob]

Yeah, you're in a tough spot. I guess you have no choice but to eat meat. And like you said, you hope things get better. So do I.

 

[VeganRachel]

This is a update from a previous thread I wrote, if you want context I suggest you read my previous thread first. (This website keeps messing and kicking me out of my accounts, my previous acc is "love letter"you can find the info there)

TW: mentions of beating and hitting!!

As the tittle says I cannot stay vegan anymore.
The situation got worse. I thought I could manage however I can't.
My mom is getting fed up with cooking me seperate dishes and she says I should just eat everything she cooks. Of course i replied that I can cook my own seperate dishes if it stresses her out so much. But she said it was a ridiculous idea and insisted I eat everything she cooks.
She said if I continue with my diet she is never going to speak to me again nor pay for school, and that she is going to break my phone and send me to a psychiatrist.


Today my mom cooked sarma (a traditional food popular in my country which contains meat and pepper) And said I should eat it, I didn't argue because if I did she would hit me again.


I'm scared, I don't want to see my mom stressed or upset because then she gets angry and physical with me.
I could only switch into a vegetarian diet temporary until I leave the house and then go vegan.
But I'm not sure if that is what I should do. I don't want to hurt animals.
Either way I have no choice,I just don't want her to beat me again.
I am so sorry.

OMG what a situation. You seem totally dependent on your mom for your living and eating. The hitting is violence against you,
simply because you will eat everything but the dead?. I pray for your mom. Send her love as she is doing what she feels is best
for her (but not for you!). She can still eat animals, but sad that she forces you to, thats' unfair. Can you make your own food instead?.
I would try and move out, no one should force you to do something against your will and to be violent as a result. thats' cruel.
Peacee and love to you.

 

[Hashtag_Eevee]

I was in a kind of similar situation, I am still vegan, but am sort of less of one. However, I live in a place where veganism is protected by law. Remember the animals and don't fall to the haters, but do what you can. I fought quite lot to get where I am. Get school involved!

 

[Urfavletter]

I was in a kind of similar situation, I am still vegan, but am sort of less of one. However, I live in a place where veganism is protected by law. Remember the animals and don't fall to the haters, but do what you can. I fought quite lot to get where I am. Get school involved!

I appreciate the reply. It's nice to know I'm not alone in the situation. However school is a awful choice, I know by experience. I fainted multiple times in school due to stress and because I haven't eaten anything in 4 days. I had to go talk with the vice principal, and she promised to keep whatever I said a secret. She didn't, my mom found out and I got send to the psychiatrist

 

[Urfavletter]

OMG what a situation. You seem totally dependent on your mom for your living and eating. The hitting is violence against you,
simply because you will eat everything but the dead?. I pray for your mom. Send her love as she is doing what she feels is best
for her (but not for you!). She can still eat animals, but sad that she forces you to, thats' unfair. Can you make your own food instead?.
I would try and move out, no one should force you to do something against your will and to be violent as a result. thats' cruel.
Peacee and love to you.

Thank you so much!
Sadly I cannot move out since I'm still a minor. As of now I am not eating any meat, dairy and egg isn't much of a option so I eat what I can so I won't get on my mom's bad side. Going vegetarian temporarily seems like the best option for now until I get independent .

 

[Urfavletter]

I'm sorry for your situation and I'm worried for your safety.
Thank you for coming here and asking for help.
Can you move to live with a relative or a friend?
You deserve a safe and healthy environment.
And you don't need to apologise. It's not your fault.

Thank you! I can't really move in with anyone else. My mom will protest against it. My grandma and uncle are the only ones in my family who respect and support my choices.

 

[Urfavletter]

Do you know why your mom insists that you eat meat and is so opposed to veganism? Perhaps you could share that with us? It may enable us to help you more and give us more insight…
As hard as it might be, please don’t give up! You aren’t in a survival situation, where you need to eat meat in order to survive. Maybe you could try having her view videos of other young people your age who are vegan and happy and healthy, and have her read up on the health benefits of a nutritious, healthy and nutritionally adequate vegan diet, particularly for people of your age/race/gender?

I have tried everything, she won't listen. Meat is a BIG part of our culture so maybe that's why she isn't to keen on vegans or veganism.

 

[Brian W]

Going vegetarian temporarily seems like the best option for now until I get independent .

Well that's a step in the right direction anyway. Whatever you do, please stay with us.

 

[Clairey]

This is a update from a previous thread I wrote, if you want context I suggest you read my previous thread first. (This website keeps messing and kicking me out of my accounts, my previous acc is "love letter"you can find the info there)

TW: mentions of beating and hitting!!

As the tittle says I cannot stay vegan anymore.
The situation got worse. I thought I could manage however I can't.
My mom is getting fed up with cooking me seperate dishes and she says I should just eat everything she cooks. Of course i replied that I can cook my own seperate dishes if it stresses her out so much. But she said it was a ridiculous idea and insisted I eat everything she cooks.
She said if I continue with my diet she is never going to speak to me again nor pay for school, and that she is going to break my phone and send me to a psychiatrist.


Today my mom cooked sarma (a traditional food popular in my country which contains meat and pepper) And said I should eat it, I didn't argue because if I did she would hit me again.


I'm scared, I don't want to see my mom stressed or upset because then she gets angry and physical with me.
I could only switch into a vegetarian diet temporary until I leave the house and then go vegan.
But I'm not sure if that is what I should do. I don't want to hurt animals.
Either way I have no choice,I just don't want her to beat me again.
I am so sorry.

I feel sorry for you. x