Hmmmmn... Interesting.

ColeNic

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I was intrigued by the posts in this thread, I scanned them all and found that this quite interesting. I never dated a vegan still (considering that I am still learning to switch to this diet not too soon), i never knew that it will indeed become a big factor in a relationship. Perceiving that the diet is just a portion someone's personality and way of living, I never thought that it would be such a BIG portion. So are all vegans mostly date vegans too?
 

thegrey1

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I don't see why it would necessarily be a deal-breaker. It's not so difficult these days for people to lead diverse lives. There are compromises that can be made on choice of restaurant, etc. so that both people are able to be accommodated. Surely if you like someone enough, it could be worked out :D
 

Alexia

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thegrey1 said:
I don't see why it would necessarily be a deal-breaker. It's not so difficult these days for people to lead diverse lives. There are compromises that can be made on choice of restaurant, etc. so that both people are able to be accommodated. Surely if you like someone enough, it could be worked out :D

It depends on the personality of the person and it's not only eating out, it's when you visit their family and friends too. Obviously you have never been in the situation, but I have been left with a green salad all day once at a party as my ex never told his friends I was a vegetarian. If they respect it fine, but some go along with it and never really understand and when they say, "You've got a salad," that doesn't really cement a relationship. I hate salad by the way, so I basically starved at the barbecue.

Looking at the long term. it's also about grocery shopping and ethics and which brands and products you choose. Some things can't be compromised on and they shouldn't, but then it gets very expensive buying two lots of things.
 

dawnwan

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ColeNic said:
I was intrigued by the posts in this thread, I scanned them all and found that this quite interesting. I never dated a vegan still (considering that I am still learning to switch to this diet not too soon), i never knew that it will indeed become a big factor in a relationship. Perceiving that the diet is just a portion someone's personality and way of living, I never thought that it would be such a BIG portion. So are all vegans mostly date vegans too?

My choice to not eat meat happened after my husband and I married.  I do not think this would have made of any less compatible.  We are already different on so many other levels.  For me, it is boils down to respect.  It is not conducive for our relationship to force our opinions, nor lifestyle choices on each other.

I suppose, it is because I do not follow a strict vegan diet; although, I am contemplating the change. Nor, am I offended by his diet choices.  Sure, it would make life easier to eat all the same food at our meals, and it might not work for others, but for us, it is working just fine.  Besides how many people like a certain vegetable and the other does not.

Who knows, if I become a vegan, I might change my stance and try to convert him, too! lol  I am known to change my mind often!  This aspect of me won't surprise him one bit!
 

jillyan10

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I don't think so. I have seen couples who are not both vegan and their lifestyle still works with each other and no much conflict about it. It is not a big factor in a relationship if your partner is vegan or not. If the other wants to be vegan then that is his or her own choice to make and the other person can still go with being a meat consumer or an omnivore. On the other hand, it would be much beneficial for the two of you and you can save more money if you have the same lifestyle.
 

lion

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My mother was a vegetarian, though not a vegan, and my father an omnivore, and it seemed to work out alright.

I don't see why a relationship couldn't work purely based on dietary choice, so long as each respects the other. Of course the ideal situation is to be with a fellow vegan, but life is not always convenient and love happens. I wouldn't not be with my dream partner if they just so happened to be a meat consumer. I'd just want them to not kiss me after dinner without brushing their teeth, lol.
 

Connie

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You can't impose your views on someone else if you want a relationship to work and that is the big point. You have to respect the other person's choice in life.

I was vegetarian when I first started to date the guy who is now my husband of 18 years. Prior to that boyfriends had all been omnivores and eaten whatever they wanted. My husband ate what he wanted until we moved in together. Then it was just easier for him to be vegetarian diet and he wasn't that bothered about it. I didn't impose it on him and I didn't impose a vegetarian lifestyle on him either. He still had leather belts and leather shoes. He ate meat sandwiches when we were out and found that I wasn't that keen on kissing him afterwards! He changed his habits for me because he knew eating meat/fish/insects or any other bits that were not vegetarian was a big deal for me. Gradually he just went over to a vegetarian diet and our wedding reception was a completely vegetarian affair - by then he was veggie as well. We decided that on our big day we were not going to be the ones working out if we could eat something at the reception or not. Everything served had to be veggie.

When I had to stop drinking/eating cow's milk and go over to goat's milk he came over to it with me as well. We both noticed that he stopped snoring when this happened and when I developed a full blown allergy to all things dairy, he just came over to a vegan diet with me. When we are eating out, he is free to eat what he wants, but he more often than not now choses to eat a vegan diet even when I am not around. He keeps finding these vegan/vegetarian cafes that he then takes me to, so I kind of know he really is eating veggie at least. And other than leather shoes, there is little in his life that is not vegan. He has not batted an eye lid over cashew nut cheese or using cashew nut cream and lemon juice instead of crème fraiche. I'm rather lucky really.
 

Josie

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It depends on the people. To me, comparing it to a couple not agreeing on a vegetable is not at all the same as agreeing on whether or not to contribute to animal suffering or not lol. My husband and I both went vegan at the same time and I think he may have been far more angered by everything he learned from it. But then, the whole thing was news to him; I was used to it, sadly. Before going vegan, I was angered and sad by the whole thing, but I thought I needed meat for health, so I just avoided factory meat and went with nearby farmers. Still not ideal, but it was me or the animals at that point lol. Now we know better.. it's not us or the animals, we don't need to eat them to survive and we shouldn't either (just my opinion, of course).

Anyway.. I don't believe on forcing opinions or beliefs on others, but I couldn't be with someone who isn't vegan themselves. I'm with my husband for life, whether he starts eating meat again or not. If he does, he'll just have to keep it far from me. But if something were to happen to him and I found myself back out there again (fat chance lol), I would only date vegans, to make life simpler. I can't stand the industry and the suffering and I would feel awful seeing that across the table from me every day. To me, it's not a matter of being different and to each their own.. we're talking about cruelty and suffering. That's not just a food choice for me.
 

LilAnn

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I don't see why it would necessarily be a deal-breaker. It's not so difficult these days for people to lead diverse lives. There are compromises that can be made on choice of restaurant, etc. so that both people are able to be accommodated. Surely if you like someone enough, it could be worked out :D
You are so right! My ex and I used to eat very different things. I ate in the morning, he ate at night; I like ramen, he likes beanie weinies; I like sandwiches, he liked TV dinners. Everyday I was makin 2 dinners at two different times. And it worked. As long as we were willing to eat our leftovers the grocery shopping wasn't too bad.