Help-Struggling with family after going vegan!

[juliii]

Anyone else struggling with judgment from family after going vegan?

I’ve recently transitioned to a vegan lifestyle (about 2 months now), and while I’m feeling better physically and ethically, I’ve been struggling with how my family reacts to it. They often make passive-aggressive comments like “Oh, here comes the tofu queen” or “You can’t survive without real food forever.” At first, I laughed it off, but now it’s starting to get under my skin. I’m not trying to push my views on anyone, but even bringing my own meals to family gatherings seems to trigger debates.
Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you handle criticism or jokes from close ones? Do you educate them, ignore them, or set firm boundaries? Would love to hear how others navigated this early phase socially.

 

[Lou]

I think how you deal with it is a personal decision based on what you are comfortable with and your relationship with those people.

A long time ago I would recommend ignoring them. but over time my views have changed. Now I firmly believe in never missing an opportunity to make a good impression and to educate. It's my little form of activism.

Before you do that you must. educate yourself. Prepare yourself with all the comebacks you need. There is no worse feeling to realize you have the perfect comemback - ten minutes or 10 hours too late.

There are several good on-line sources that can help.
These are pretty good.

Eating Animals: Addressing Our Most Common Justifications

This in-depth article addresses the most common justifications people give for eating animals even when we have an abundance of plant-based alternatives.

freefromharm.org

Why Plant Crops Don't Kill More Wildlife than Pasture Raised Animals

Crop cultivation actually kills far fewer animals than even pasture grazing livestock. Here's why, explained with scientific evidence.

freefromharm.org

Common Justifications for Eating Animals Archives

Whether you’ve come to this page as a vegan looking for better, more reasoned responses to the common justifications for eating animals or you are just someone exploring the topic, what we all have in common is a lifetime of cultural conditioning that has profoundly shaped our worldview about...

freefromharm.org

I bet you could find other sources but I doubt if you can find one more comprehensive.

Oh and there is nothing wrong with just telling people that their comments are making you feel uncomfortable and that they should stop.

 

[Second Summer]

I think a lot depends on your pre-existing relationship with the person in question. Are you perceived vas someone who makes bad choices or are you someone they look up to, who has earned a lot of goodwill etc.

 

[Emma JC]

welcome to the forum and so sorry to hear that family is challenging

This has been discussed many times amoungst all and @Lou has given you some great resources. One of the things that we have tried and it helps is actually bringing food for others to share/taste. Something simple like a big pot of chili, or fusili-type pasta with a veggie ground meat/vegetable sauce on it. A hummus bowl with veggies/crackers etc. Let them see and taste normal food that just doesn't have any animal flesh in it, that is delicious. Even a big pot of rice and beans with corn and veggies and more than one type of bean, can of chopped tomatoes etc. The key is to make it so tasty that they will prefer it over their bland food and will start looking forward to what you might bring instead of mocking.

Emma JC
Find your vegan soulmate or just a friend. www.spiritualmatchmaking.com

 

[shyvas]

Anyone else struggling with judgment from family after going vegan?

“Oh, here comes the tofu queen” or “You can’t survive without real food forever.” At first, I laughed

I would consider that as a compliment. Smile and take it as face value after all if they think that it's bothering you, they will continue to bug you.

 

[juliii]

I think how you deal with it is a personal decision based on what you are comfortable with and your relationship with those people.

A long time ago I would recommend ignoring them. but over time my views have changed. Now I firmly believe in never missing an opportunity to make a good impression and to educate. It's my little form of activism.

Before you do that you must. educate yourself. Prepare yourself with all the comebacks you need. There is no worse feeling to realize you have the perfect comemback - ten minutes or 10 hours too late.

There are several good on-line sources that can help.
These are pretty good.

Eating Animals: Addressing Our Most Common Justifications

This in-depth article addresses the most common justifications people give for eating animals even when we have an abundance of plant-based alternatives.

freefromharm.org

Why Plant Crops Don't Kill More Wildlife than Pasture Raised Animals

Crop cultivation actually kills far fewer animals than even pasture grazing livestock. Here's why, explained with scientific evidence.

freefromharm.org

Common Justifications for Eating Animals Archives

Whether you’ve come to this page as a vegan looking for better, more reasoned responses to the common justifications for eating animals or you are just someone exploring the topic, what we all have in common is a lifetime of cultural conditioning that has profoundly shaped our worldview about...

freefromharm.org

I bet you could find other sources but I doubt if you can find one more comprehensive.

Oh and there is nothing wrong with just telling people that their comments are making you feel uncomfortable and that they should stop.

Thank you for your perspective and the resources, I really appreciate it. For now, I'm just focusing on keeping the peace and doing what feels right for me.

 

[Lou]

This just came out. I thought it was pretty good.

9 hilarious responses to exhausting vegan questions that make everyone laugh instead of argue

Because 'I get my protein from suffering in silence' does not (and will never) work.

vegoutmag.com

 

[Emma JC]

that was awesome @Lou - last weekend I went to a family reunion which was about an hour's drive away so I didn't have to stay overnight or be there for breakfast etc - I have a cousin who is about my age and has been a very large girl/women all her life - we happened to be sitting at the same table on Friday night at dinner and I was eating from my own container which had gnocchi and slices of apple sage sausage - some one asked me what I was eating and why and I said that I/we are vegan/plant-based and she spoke up and said that during Covid she went plant-based and lost 70 pounds ..... then admitted that she stopped and gained it all back plus some more.... wow - that stopped the conversation pretty quickly and I didn't have to say a thing

We did not stay for the roast beef dinner they cooked on Saturday night although I had to smell it cooking all day. The chicken they ate Friday night was breaded so I could pretend that I wasn't watching flesh being eaten, don't think I could have done that on Saturday night so we left and treated ourselves to Pad Thai and spring rolls.

I love all the good answers and the relaxed attitude in that article!

Emma JC
Find your vegan soulmate or just a friend. www.spiritualmatchmaking.com