Feeling oh so low

[Smileypotato123]

With a half hearted sigh I type with a heavy heart in mind about this life. Although I suddenly feel brighter my heavy heart nearly came to a stop with mega heavy sadness. I wish it never started but I typed a message in this box with great intention to seek the help I need. However I accidently deleted it and so have had to start again this time with a lighter soul, mind and heart. Oh so happy at times yet ever so miserable at others. I wont go into the trouble again but it looms. Suicide isn't the answer but sometimes it seems that way. Anything to escape real problems. Real bullies, mostly the meat eating sort. I hear voices as well and believe it is telepathy. Its not all random voices it makes sense and sometimes sadly. Especially receiving messages from a girl I was at school with it really saddens me that we couldn't get along no matter how hard I tried. Shes the one who makes me want to end it. End of story. I'm currently about to go into recovery mode where I'll feel completely belittled and suicidal. This will probably last until I fall asleep. Oh dear... must think of solutions.... how to cope with being bullied.. anyone? She is older and so I'm supposed to look up to her. Darn.

 

[Smileypotato123]

Ps. Shes just a meat eating bully like my mother and most people on this planet.

 

[Tom L.]

I'm sorry you're having problems. Everybody needs friends; no message board can substitute for real-life friendships, but it can certainly help!

I'm no psychiatrist- I never even took Psych 101 (the basic psychology course for non-psychology majors) as an elective back in college. But you mentioned that you hear voices, and believe this is telepathy. I think hearing voices is supposed to be a symptom of schizophrenia. If this is your issue, you need to get professional assistance from a qualified healthcare provider.

EDITED TO ADD: I just went to Google for info about this, and my second paragraph just above is largely wrong:

Hearing voices that others cannot hear is called an
auditory hallucination. It is a sensory perception where a person hears sounds, music, or speech without an external stimulus, which can stem from mental health conditions (like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or severe depression) or other factors.
Key Details About Hearing Voices:

• Commonality: About 1 in 10 people may experience hearing voices at some point.
• Causes: Beyond mental health conditions, causes include extreme stress, grief (hearing a deceased loved one), lack of sleep, drug/alcohol misuse, or neurological conditions like Parkinson’s.

Auditory Hallucinations: Causes, Symptoms, Types & Treatment

Auditory hallucinations happen when you hear voices or noises that aren’t there. They have many possible causes from both temporary and chronic conditions.

my.clevelandclinic.org

 

[allindogecoin]

Are you in school? It's really hard to deal with bullying when you are in school as typically you are dependent on others and don't have much autonomy. One thing you need to do is stand up to any bullies. You don't have to attack anyone's beliefs but you need to set boundaries and call out when someone breaches your boundaries, no matter how uncomfortable this may feel. Don't be afraid to escalate to assert your boundaries to defend yourself. As you leave school (assuming you are in school) then you will be more independent and have more freedom to stay away from people you don't like instead of being exposed to people in a school yard, and although workplaces tend to have better anti-harassment and anti-bullying policies, you still need to learn to assert your boundaries, but as an adult you will have more autonomy, which is better. Focus on working, saving, and investing so that you don't become financially dependent on others, which can lead to being "enmeshed" in the lives of others and make you vulnerable to bullying again. Aim to be autonomous and have the ability to maintain a healthy distance from others.

 

[Smileypotato123]

Are you in school? It's really hard to deal with bullying when you are in school as typically you are dependent on others and don't have much autonomy. One thing you need to do is stand up to any bullies. You don't have to attack anyone's beliefs but you need to set boundaries and call out when someone breaches your boundaries, no matter how uncomfortable this may feel. Don't be afraid to escalate to assert your boundaries to defend yourself. As you leave school (assuming you are in school) then you will be more independent and have more freedom to stay away from people you don't like instead of being exposed to people in a school yard, and although workplaces tend to have better anti-harassment and anti-bullying policies, you still need to learn to assert your boundaries, but as an adult you will have more autonomy, which is better. Focus on working, saving, and investing so that you don't become financially dependent on others, which can lead to being "enmeshed" in the lives of others and make you vulnerable to bullying again. Aim to be autonomous and have the ability to maintain a healthy distance from others.

I was at school with the people I hear voices from. The trouble is its all in my head... I no longer see them but hear their voices as if telepathically. This is why I'm so upset because I dont know what to do to stop them. I tried reaching out to them by email just to say hello and how are you? Because I thought they were my friends but I got a very nasty replies. Years later I started hearing them talking to me in my head saying nasty things to me. I've told the doctors and they have pointed me to a hearing voices group nearby. This didnt really help because I found it exhausting listening to others people's stories as well, even though they meant well I'm now 40 and just dont have the energy I used to. I think its a psychic battle and some people become aware about this sort of thing and others may not. I'm so confused. Its not all doom and gloom, sometimes these people have good things to say but its not easy when there is conflict. Thank you for replying.

 

[shyvas]

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[allindogecoin]

I was at school with the people I hear voices from. The trouble is its all in my head... I no longer see them but hear their voices as if telepathically. This is why I'm so upset because I dont know what to do to stop them. I tried reaching out to them by email just to say hello and how are you? Because I thought they were my friends but I got a very nasty replies. Years later I started hearing them talking to me in my head saying nasty things to me. I've told the doctors and they have pointed me to a hearing voices group nearby. This didnt really help because I found it exhausting listening to others people's stories as well, even though they meant well I'm now 40 and just dont have the energy I used to. I think its a psychic battle and some people become aware about this sort of thing and others may not. I'm so confused. Its not all doom and gloom, sometimes these people have good things to say but its not easy when there is conflict. Thank you for replying.

It's good to hear you are out of school. I think try not to let these bullies live rent free in your head. Try to forget about them. Perhaps try to keep yourself occupied with something that gives you meaning and purpose so that your idle mind does not wander into the past. This group you are in sounds interesting and I don't know enough about your specific circumstances to say too much about it, but if there is too much conflict in this group, you'll need to assess whether to reduce the frequency you visit, or maybe you can use these group sessions as an opportunity to practice conversational skills and conflict management, assertive communication, protecting your boundaries etc. Another option is to change your environment e.g. maybe travel somewhere far away to try to think about your purpose and what will bring meaning to your life. Consider a sabbatical in a low-cost-of-living country where you can escape from the familiar and refresh your mind.

 

[Smileypotato123]

It's good to hear you are out of school. I think try not to let these bullies live rent free in your head. Try to forget about them. Perhaps try to keep yourself occupied with something that gives you meaning and purpose so that your idle mind does not wander into the past. This group you are in sounds interesting and I don't know enough about your specific circumstances to say too much about it, but if there is too much conflict in this group, you'll need to assess whether to reduce the frequency you visit, or maybe you can use these group sessions as an opportunity to practice conversational skills and conflict management, assertive communication, protecting your boundaries etc. Another option is to change your environment e.g. maybe travel somewhere far away to try to think about your purpose and what will bring meaning to your life. Consider a sabbatical in a low-cost-of-living country where you can escape from the familiar and refresh your mind.

If I had the money I'd be off in a flash. Sadly I have very little and only just enough to feed myself as a vegan. This is where the conflict arises I suppose about staying vegan and spending the money doing that as opposed to giving it to charity instead. Because I give money to charity I have less to feed myself but then I feel better mentally and emotionally for giving the money.

 

[allindogecoin]

If I had the money I'd be off in a flash. Sadly I have very little and only just enough to feed myself as a vegan. This is where the conflict arises I suppose about staying vegan and spending the money doing that as opposed to giving it to charity instead. Because I give money to charity I have less to feed myself but then I feel better mentally and emotionally for giving the money.

Are you finding it expensive to be vegan? What are you buying that is costing a lot? Do you give a lot to charity that you don't have enough leftover to eat?

 

[Smileypotato123]

Yes it is fairly expensive for me... somethings are very reasonable like the raw veggies and fruits but then if you want to buy ready made snacks and pasties for example they can be very expensive... it all adds up and suddenly there's nothing left. Well I give money to the hospitals in England and places I have travelled to. I think its a good idea to help if you can. I give what I can. How long have you been vegan for?

 

[Tom L.]

@Smileypotato123 Ready-made food IS expensive. I'm not home at the moment, and just had two (rather small!) vegan tamales for lunch: one mushroom, and one pinto bean. They were good- both tasty and healthy- and I was a bit too hungry to wait until I get home later this afternoon, but they were $6 each.

Can you cook meals for yourself sometimes? Once you get a few recipes you like for healthy and tasty dishes, things will be easier- especially when you make an extra serving or two for the next 2 or 3 days.

 

[Smileypotato123]

@Smileypotato123 Ready-made food IS expensive. I'm not home at the moment, and just had two (rather small!) vegan tamales for lunch: one mushroom, and one pinto bean. They were good- both tasty and healthy- and I was a bit too hungry to wait until I get home later this afternoon, but they were $6 each.

Can you cook meals for yourself sometimes? Once you get a few recipes you like for healthy and tasty dishes, things will be easier- especially when you make an extra serving or two for the next 2 or 3 days.

Yes I cook meals for myself mostly. I tend to fall into the same routine making humus and a few other things like mash potato. Just simple dishes otherwise its too rich for me and I cant stand it. Lol.
Since losing my father I haven't been coping even with simple things. So making humus and mash is like climbing a mountain to me...