Baffled about this forum

[KLS52]

Thank you for this , Silva , but I think I have worked out the problem .

Being a vegan for as long as l have ( 48 years , since the age of 17) means I have debated , discussed , argued , compared , listened , been listened to , been insulted . and etc ., etc.. repeatedly over the decades - and l just don't feel the urge or need to do that any more . I joined this site to connect to other vegans - to possibly offer up some advice to the younger ones or newbies ... to empathise with those finding it tough going in the face of external disapproval - to offer friendship to those feeling lonely and alone in the world .. etc.. etc..

Someone in this thread said something like " Well it's a discussion forum so .... " but l beg to differ .. I can't find the heading "Discussion Forum" anywhere - surely this is just a forum .. yes ? So - there's no rule that says all posts have to be discussed ad infinitum and every detail someone says has to be scrutinised until it's completely torn apart ...

Some of you may wish to do this , but l don't .. I have made the mistake of making comments and expressing feelings about things - and obviously l regret that now ..
I should have just looked for the threads where l might be of some assistance or be able to offer some loving words ..

My mistake . Now can we all just leave it be now ?
I still feel like l don't belong in here - maybe l need a forum of oldie vegans like me , who are done with all of the debating and discussion and just wish to connect to other like-minded /hearted vegans .. ?

Ruthie

I would certainly hate to see you leave, but I'm going to take a different stance...sometimes we reach a point in our lives where it just makes sense to let go...whether it be people or things or Internet forums. You obviously have strong feelings about this subject and if being here is causing any kind of stress or unhappiness then perhaps it is no longer the place for you. Your peace should come first. Maybe just take a break and come back after awhile? You are an asset to the forum.

 

[shyvas]

A few years ago, a member asked a similar question regarding the basis of this forum.
I thought that the thread was interesting as it contains Second Summer's comments, who was the founder of this forum.

Vegan Forum:

A free-to-access vegan community for support, recipes, health and travel advice, activism, products and more. All things vegan in one elegant forum.

https://www.veganforum.org/threads/what-kind-of-veganism-is-this-forum-based-on.18084/

 

[cnmstudent2026]

Rule #1 of the forum says you don't have to be vegan to be a member but there can be no promoting of non veganism.

I am new to this forum. I am also not Vegan. I agree that it is not my place to promote non-veganism on a site that is meant to support those who participate in veganism or intend on transitioning.

I am on this forum because I am a non-traditional communications college student and I am merely curious about veganism and studying how activists and practitioners interact online. It is interesting that the OP wants people to embrace their differences and not conform to what is considered "normal." My argument would be that everyone hopes to embrace their differences regardless of their lifestyle choices in the hopes that they can accept who they are as a person. Is me being non-vegan "normal" and "average" and somehow vegans are "different from average"? I think that is all relative and subjective. The human experience extends far beyond our lifestyle. I certainly don't somehow "fit in" because of my lifestyle choices surrounding non-veganism.

In sum, I think it is disappointing that instead of spreading a positive message to encourage veganism, there is a lot of bashing of people on the "opposite side." It is polarizing. I think it would be so awesome to educate people and be positive and welcoming instead of pointing fingers at other people and saying they are traveling the "same old worn road." I am not a sheep because in every facet of my life, I choose to continue to educate myself. I think it would be worth considering having a more curious approach when wondering why members of this forum seem to be "uneducated" like when they ask about eggs. A more empathetic approach would be to just explain that they are not and thank them for wanting to be educated.

I hope to learn more from being on this site and I will continue to encourage users to communicate kindly behind the veil of their screen and keyboard.

 

[Tom L.]

I haven't really seen hostility toward non-vegans on this forum, but I've seen it on other websites. Specifically, there was a website formerly owned and operated by the PetsMart corporation: it was similar to VeganForum in that there were a number of sub-forums focusing on specific interests: cats, dogs, fish, general animal advocacy, etc. The animal advocacy forum seemed to attract people from both sides- vegans, vegetarians, dog/cat/horse/reptile owners, ranchers, hunters- who just wanted to jump into on-line brawls with "the other side".

There were maybe one or two incidents on another veg website where non-vegetarians (well, anti-vegetarians, actually) were specifically looking to argue with people. They were banned in short order. Nobody missed them. They had their own website, which I visited once or twice, but nothing there interested me.

 

[PTree15]

... I think it would be worth considering having a more curious approach when wondering why members of this forum seem to be "uneducated" like when they ask about eggs. A more empathetic approach would be to just explain that they are not and thank them for wanting to be educated.

I hope to learn more from being on this site and I will continue to encourage users to communicate kindly behind the veil of their screen and keyboard.

I haven't seen much hostility on this forum at all. Sometimes being direct or matter-of-fact about something like eggs can be misinterpreted online as hostile or rude or what have you. You can't hear tone of voice in the written word. When there have been incidents of heated debate that have gotten out of hand (name-calling and whatnot), the mods here take care of it. I think people in general have lost the ability to debate, and they see any sort of disagreeing as an attack on them or something.

 

[shyvas]

I think people in general have lost the ability to debate, and they see any sort of disagreeing as an attack on them or something.

Very few people seem to have the talent on how to debate. I've discussed this with people of the same generation (baby boomers) and they all agree that real debate seems to be a thing of the past.
I remember a time, where people would debate and either come to the conclusion that the other side may be right or wrong but yet they still remained cordial and continued to communicate. Yet, today many want to know on which side you stand before engaging further.

Indeed, I remember a time when debating was fun and highly entertaining, whilst today it can be destructive and annoying.

 

[KLS52]

For me it depends on the debate topic. It's hard to give grace and "agree to disagree" when ethics/morals/humanity/civil rights are involved. For me, there is a right and wrong. So I choose not to debate especially when it comes to family and friends who I have deep feelings for.

The unfortunate side of it is, I do see these people differently when I hear them strongly defend something that I feel is abhorrent. So it needs to remain hidden/unsaid if I am going to continue any kind of relationship with someone.

 

[PTree15]

Very few people seem to have the talent on how to debate. I've discussed this with people of the same generation (baby boomers) and they all agree that real debate seems to be a thing of the past.
I remember a time, where people would debate and either come to the conclusion that the other side may be right or wrong but yet they still remained cordial and continued to communicate. Yet, today many want to know on which side you stand before engaging further.

Indeed, I remember a time when debating was fun and highly entertaining, whilst today it can be destructive and annoying.

Agreed! We even had a debate club in high school. It was great fun, and it taught me a lot about checking sources, doing your research and cordially disagreeing with someone, etc. And there were never hard feelings afterward. And we always shook hands after a debate.

 

[PTree15]

For me it depends on the debate topic. It's hard to give grace and "agree to disagree" when ethics/morals/humanity/civil rights are involved. For me, there is a right and wrong. So I choose not to debate especially when it comes to family and friends who I have deep feelings for.

The unfortunate side of it is, I do see these people differently when I hear them strongly defend something that I feel is abhorrent. So it needs to remain hidden/unsaid if I am going to continue any kind of relationship with someone.

I keep hoping the people who defend abhorrence will come around someday.

 

[shyvas]

Agreed! We even had a debate club in high school. It was great fun, and it taught me a lot about checking sources, doing your research and cordially disagreeing with someone, etc. And there were never hard feelings afterward. And we always shook hands after a debate.

It was the same thing in the UK. They taught us how to debate. I actually still remember participating in one and it was great.

You can't actually even discuss anything without some people talking over you and in a loud manner. It happened to me yesterday with the neighbour that goes fishing and hates vegans. He was downright rude, vulgar (using terms of men's body parts) abrupt and plain nasty.

I was just about to give him a bottle of red wine (we were in the garages down below) before he started to get angry. Tough luck Mr nasty.

 

[PTree15]

It was the same thing in the UK. They taught us how to debate. I actually still remember participating in one and it was great.

You can't actually even discuss anything without some people talking over you and in a loud manner. It happened to me yesterday with the neighbour that goes fishing and hates vegans. He was downright rude, vulgar (using terms of men's body parts) abrupt and plain nasty.

I was just about to give him a bottle of red wine (we were in the garages down below) before he started to get angry. Tough luck Mr nasty.

Seriously??? What is wrong with people! There is so much unnecessary hostility in this world! I'm sorry he was so vile to you.

 

[shyvas]

Seriously??? What is wrong with people! There is so much unnecessary hostility in this world! I'm sorry he was so vile to you.

I must say that he smokes weed and cigars. He was obnoxious and downright rude.

 

[shyvas]

I must say that he smokes weed and cigars. He was obnoxious and downright rude.

Who else wants to be rude? I think it's what you call Sod's law.

I've been trying to help someone in Paris for the last 2 hours by searching for animal rescues/FB pidge groups/rehabbers etc. The man has found a pidge with a bad case of stringfoot. I messaged the founder of a local group over here in this region. I wanted to know whether she could give me a contact in Paris. Instead of a contact she wrote me a very blunt message saying that there are millions of pigeons in France who have stringfoot and if every single person called her, she couldn't cope. Why on earth would I even bother to contact her?

She went on to see that it should go to a vets (closed or they don't take in pidges) or that the person (who has no experience and is afraid to do so) should destring the pidge.

 

[shyvas]

I believe that we have gone off topic here.