What do you do?

Courtneyvictoria said:
Why is everyone a stay at home mom but me? What are you guys doing that I'm not? I'm legit gonna cry.
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Well first you have to realize it was 40 years ago! And I watched other people’s children in my home to supplement our income...not like a daycare center or anything...I would take care of one or two little ones and incorporate them into my daily routine. So whatever I did with my kids, there was always another one or two who was part of the family. It was hard, especially when I had my third. And depending on if I was caring for an infant, toddler or school aged child. I was tired a lot lol. But I still had the freedom to do stuff during the day which was cool. I just always had kids in tow.
 
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Out of my family experience I would rather advise against trying out the "stay-at-home-mom" career.
Not so much the "stay-at-home" part, but the "mom" part.
More work than initially expected and very hard to get out of again...
 
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@Courtneyvictoria, I'm another stay-at-home mom! I agree with the others that there's not a lot of glamour. However, there is a lot of guilt regarding money and worry about finding a place again in the workforce. One odd thing I've learned is that many people see it as a selfish choice and offer super helpful remarks such as 'you're betraying feminism and/or wasting your talent' as well as my favorite 'What will you do if/when your husband leaves you?!' I was blindsided by this unexpected perk, so I pass it on to everyone who's considering staying home.

The downside is it's a 24/7 job no weekends or holidays... you get to do more on weekends and holidays! The upside is you have time to nurture your family however you want as well as time to make all your vegan food from scratch. :grinning:

Good luck to you getting your wish!
 
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I left the financial services industry many years ago, to stay home with my disabled daughter. Now she's 30 and living in a group home and I volunteer at an animal shelter, paint, and wrangle chihuahuas and granddaughters.
 
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MoreGreens said:
@Courtneyvictoria, I'm another stay-at-home mom! I agree with the others that there's not a lot of glamour. However, there is a lot of guilt regarding money and worry about finding a place again in the workforce. One odd thing I've learned is that many people see it as a selfish choice and offer super helpful remarks such as 'you're betraying feminism and/or wasting your talent' as well as my favorite 'What will you do if/when your husband leaves you?!' I was blindsided by this unexpected perk, so I pass it on to everyone who's considering staying home.

The downside is it's a 24/7 job no weekends or holidays... you get to do more on weekends and holidays! The upside is you have time to nurture your family however you want as well as time to make all your vegan food from scratch.:grinning:

Good luck to you getting your wish!
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Something people don't consider is that for some staying at home can be more cost effective if you don't have a high enough paying job to compensate for the costs of day care, and the ability to juggle getting them there and back within your work hours. It's so limiting in many states to get any financial assistance for child care, and often it's more productive to stay with your kids and receive food stamps or other aid.

I've never understood how stay at home parents think it's ok to complain about it being a 24/7 job when for those who work outside not only have their job, but so often have parenting duties come up when at work! Having to explain you have to get your sick kid, or whatever problem comes up. I always had to make their breakfast and lunch to take to day care with everything they'd need. You still have every parental duty after work, and every one of your personal days is either used for your children, or for your own need that you're unable to take kids to!
Not bitter, but too often I hear about how stay at home parents should get salaries of far more than I've ever made in my 50 hour weeks at work that compared to stay at homers would be a second job
 
I have total respect for working parents and always wonder how they do it. I could never have done it and come out alive.
 
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I have total respect for working parents and always wonder how they do it. I could never have done it and come out alive.
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You're selling yourself short. In the comments you said you were a working mom, because you took on extra childminding to supplement the family income. Other people couldn't have gone to their jobs if you or someone hadn't been willing to watch their children. You -were- a working parent. It might've been under terms you could control, but that only shows agency and cleverness on your part.

Honestly, I think it's sorta all the same. I worked publicly for 10yrs with kids, and my husbands did a lot to help around the house. (had a single parent gig in the middle not two husbands at once, pity) We shared the drudgery, but it was me who always got the call from school. Once I stayed home, division of labor was 100% separate, which I agreed with btw, because I think it's only fair. Although, it will be interesting in a couple of years to see whether he remembers how to wash dishes or start the washing machine! ;)
 
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