Hello
@VeganAnon so sorry that you are struggling with drinking and with your ex. After the death of my husband - which was a few years ago I started drinking Way too much wine...Last year I finally just stopped. Didn’t drink for about 5months.
Then in August I started drinking fairly reasonably up until the Holidays when I went off the rails....About a month ago I decided to stop once again...so far so good.... I don’t have any real advice as to how to go about it I have never gone to AA so no idea there, but if you don’t feel comfortable with that maybe look for some other support...Post here if that helps.
As for the ex. Sounds like you have a dilemma... Is there a reason your friends don’t want you to talk with him?
Remember that there is a reason that you are not together any more. Do the pros of being with him outweigh the cons?
Or do you just miss having someone in your life? A Very long time ago I was in an abusive relationship it took me 3 long years to get out of it... If this relationship is not good for you please don’t waste your time in it. Don’t settle, you deserve someone who is worthy of your love...