Hi! New to veganism and looking for support

[rewrittenevents]

Hi everyone,

I'm 26 years old and have been considering veganism off and on since I was a child. I've known for years that one day I was going to sit down and think about it and end up realizing that I didn't really have enough justification to keep consuming animal products, but I'm already politically at odds with my immediate family and didn't want to further distance myself from them, so I kept avoiding it, but...

Well, that day of reckoning came a few days ago. I live with my parents as we're near my university and rent is not at all affordable in my city, and they are both pretty unimpressed by my decision. I don't know any vegans or vegetarians with the exception of a professor I had last semester, and I guess I just feel lonely. I think for a long time I've been on the edge of making this choice and all I needed was a little push. (In case anyone is wondering what the push was - I saw a tweet where someone said something along the lines of "I find it odd that there are so many people excited for lab grown meat because they hate factory farming, but they're not vegetarians." I was offended, and then I thought about it, and I did some research on factory farming in general and confronted the things I didn't want to confront.) But now I'm starting to realize that, among the family and friends whom I've shared my decision with, a lot of them seem to find it kind of silly. It doesn't feel good.

I'm a bit frustrated with myself as I managed to have my dark night of the soul the day after we went to the supermarket, so I'll probably be making do with rice and spaghetti for a bit. There are half-finished things that I think might just end up getting thrown out if I don't eat them - nutella, gummy vitamins, chocolate syrup, microwave pork bao - and that doesn't feel right either. But I really don't want to eat them anymore. The more I think about where the animal components in them come from, the more uncomfortable I feel.

I think what will be hardest for me besides the relationship aspects (explaining things to extended family, friends who want to go out for dinner, coworkers helpfully grabbing extra jerky snacks from the vending machine...) is going to be that I'm going to need to change a huge portion of what I eat and drink - I have (had, I guess) a diet with quite a lot of dairy.

Sorry, this is quite rambling. Does anyone have any words of encouragement - or support for someone feeling a bit lonely? Thanks!

 

[rewrittenevents]

Seeing now that there is a dedicated support forum! Apologies for posting in the wrong place.

 

[Lou]

My advice to you is not to make too many changes all at once.
Actually the community is sort of split on this. Some opting for jumping in and others wading in.
I'm team gradual.
There is some good reasons for going gradual. And there are some good reasons for being more immediate. I bet the best thing is somewhere in between.

in going gradual, you have the advantage of not throwing out food. You eat the non vegan stuff you bought and then just don't buy any more.

also I think going gradual might be good on the social front. it gives you and time to ease into it and your close friends and family to adjust. it also allows your body time to adjust.

I'm a big fan of education and since you are in University - you must be too. You probably already have a lot of reading to do but it makes sense to dedicate some of your reading time to veganism.

On the social front, I recommend Melanie Joy.
On the nutrition front I recommend Gregar
On the lifestyle, Hever,
on the philosophy, Singer.

 

[Emma JC]

welcome to the forum - busy today and will try to respond more tomorrow

Emma JC
Find your vegan soulmate or just a friend. www.spiritualmatchmaking.com

 

[g0rph]

My advice to you is not to make too many changes all at once.
Actually the community is sort of split on this. Some opting for jumping in and others wading in.
I'm team gradual.
There is some good reasons for going gradual. And there are some good reasons for being more immediate. I bet the best thing is somewhere in between.

in going gradual, you have the advantage of not throwing out food. You eat the non vegan stuff you bought and then just don't buy any more.

also I think going gradual might be good on the social front. it gives you and time to ease into it and your close friends and family to adjust. it also allows your body time to adjust.

I'm a big fan of education and since you are in University - you must be too. You probably already have a lot of reading to do but it makes sense to dedicate some of your reading time to veganism.

On the social front, I recommend Melanie Joy.
On the nutrition front I recommend Gregar
On the lifestyle, Hever,
on the philosophy, Singer.

No problem if you can do it I guess.

For me, I gave everything up apart from shellfish...shrimp, prawns, etc....ovenight.


A week or two later even that made me feel guilty.
I think once you realise that actually, the dairy is worse objectively that the beef industry and that the egg industry is at least as bad (in what it necessitates), it isn't about giving up gradually, any more than someone who has been raised by racist parents and has had their eyes opened to how wrong it is can gradually stop being racist.

Giving up gradually is a logical decision. But by its very nature, going against the consumption of animal products is also an emotional decision.

 

[Lou]

g0rph, yes you are right but ...

I did go the gradual route. But not really for logical reasons. I learned about how bad dairy was and gave that up overnight. but it was years before I learned about beef, and longer before I realizes that also had to stop buying eggs. And even longer before I learned abut fish, etc.

Not that I was thinking bout it but going gradual is good to give a new vegan space to clear out their cupboards without throwing stuff away. I still tell new vegans that throwing stuff away. benefits no one.

It also gives one space for the gut to get used to a new diet. And to lean what to buy and not buy over time.

 

[Andy_T]

I'm on the other side - when I made the change (originally stopping to consume meat and fish some 25 years ago), I went all in. I did not think that if I, e.g., stopped eating beef and pork, but continued to eat chicken, that would work for me.

Some 10 years later I also quit dairy, eggs and every other animal product that I was still consuming or using.

Hardest for me - like for many others - was likely cheese, as I had loved a good cheese before that.

Here, I did not eat any animal cheese, but also did not try out any of the vegan cheeses available for about half a year. My reasoning was that if I tried out vegan cheese instead of dairy cheese, I would just keep comparing it to the dairy cheese I had eaten a week before - so I took a long break from everything cheese before I tried out my first vegan cheese half a year later. That allowed me to appreciate those vegan cheese not in comparison to the dairy cheese I had eaten eariler, but on their own merits. Does that make sense when reading it? I am not really sure, but it is what I did.

 

[PTree15]

I'm on the other side - when I made the change (originally stopping to consume meat and fish some 25 years ago), I went all in. I did not think that if I, e.g., stopped eating beef and pork, but continued to eat chicken, that would work for me.

Some 10 years later I also quit dairy, eggs and every other animal product that I was still consuming or using.

Hardest for me - like for many others - was likely cheese, as I had loved a good cheese before that.

Here, I did not eat any animal cheese, but also did not try out any of the vegan cheeses available for about half a year. My reasoning was that if I tried out vegan cheese instead of dairy cheese, I would just keep comparing it to the dairy cheese I had eaten a week before - so I took a long break from everything cheese before I tried out my first vegan cheese half a year later. That allowed me to appreciate those vegan cheese not in comparison to the dairy cheese I had eaten eariler, but on their own merits. Does that make sense when reading it? I am not really sure, but it is what I did.

Yep, it makes complete sense. I took the same approach regarding cheese (I waited a few years before I tried nondairy cheese), and it was the one thing that kept me from being vegan for several years.

I was team gradual. I initially stopped eating beef and pork for health reasons, but it took a few more years to stop eating chicken and fish. But when I learned about the cruelty involved in producing dead flesh for consumption, I was done with all of it.

@rewrittenevents it's not easy to go against the tide, and social/family pressure can be formidable. But it can be done. I took some grief from family when I decided to go vegan, but after a while, they got used to it. They may not agree with your decision, but when they see you are serious, they might back off a bit.