I just want a vegan boyfriend who will participate in vegan activies with me like eating at vegan restaurants, eating new vegan foods for the first time, cooking vegan meals together, shop together, watch movies together, and watch vegan debates online. I don't care how old they are as long as he's not over 40 and has no ex wife or kids or any of that and isn't judgmental. I joined meetup.com and entered a bunch of vegan clubs and each one of them isn't fun. They're loud, strange, aggressive people. I don't understand.
What am I doing wrong?
- Thread starter Flowrydabae
- Start date
I wish you all the best in your search Courtney and please know that as you are just 18 it is likely that you will have to kiss a lot of frogs along the way to finding the vegan prince. I met my spouse, 20 years ago, online and although we were not vegan at that time we both had an interest in alternative ideas and so it has been a journey together to where we are now and that is a good place.
You might meet someone in a grocery store, a library, a theatre.... who knows, stay open and stay positive!
Emma JC
Focus on increasing your independence and finding good, reliable, trustworthy friends. Long term relationships can be great but they cost a lot of time and energy that at your age would be better spent developing yourself. None of us appreciate how valuable that period in life is until much later...don't invest too much of it into one relationship.
Also IME young women vastly underestimate their dating potential. Kiss some frogs (vegan or not) and throw them back, you deserve much better than you're willing to settle for now.
Also IME young women vastly underestimate their dating potential. Kiss some frogs (vegan or not) and throw them back, you deserve much better than you're willing to settle for now.
You might find a person who would do all of those activities with you, but not be 100% vegan (yet?) - would that work for you? When I went vegan, I'd already been married for a long time. To this day, my hub is not vegan (essentially a pescatarian) but he does all the vegan things I want to do and loves my cooking. You're 18, date smart, funny, reliable, self-reliant and open-minded guys for now. And date guys your own age - definitely not over 21!!! (Oops, sorry, the Mom popped out!)
Forest Nymph
Forum Legend
"Loud, strange, aggressive people" - are they animal rights activists or are they just randomly that way? A lot of people who socialize as vegans are activists. If you don't like activists maybe put that on your profile. Trust me, activists are just as bummed about meeting passive vegans as you are about meeting them. In fact militant abolitionists might actually hold you in contempt for not being more outspoken. That's not "strange" it's a very real facet of animal rights activism.
Although I won't rule out the possibility you met a series of random creeps, it just sounds like you need to be more up front about why you're vegan and if/how you do activism (if at all).
Good luck.
Although I won't rule out the possibility you met a series of random creeps, it just sounds like you need to be more up front about why you're vegan and if/how you do activism (if at all).
Good luck.
David3
Forum Legend
I agree with Forest Nymph. If you attend activist-centered vegan groups, it's more likely that you'll meet people with confrontational personalities. Maybe you will meet different people by attending more socially-centered vegan Meetups?
I've heard of people meeting their spouses at a young age, but I think it's better to wait a good while before getting married. People in their late teens and twenties are still developing their independence, maturity and careers - it's difficult to have a secure relationship when people are changing so quickly.
I didn't meet my wife until I was 40 (my wife was 42)! It's a good thing I waited, too, because it wouldn't have gone well if I'd married any of the nice-but-not-the-right-match women whom I dated in my 20s and 30s.
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I've heard of people meeting their spouses at a young age, but I think it's better to wait a good while before getting married. People in their late teens and twenties are still developing their independence, maturity and careers - it's difficult to have a secure relationship when people are changing so quickly.
I didn't meet my wife until I was 40 (my wife was 42)! It's a good thing I waited, too, because it wouldn't have gone well if I'd married any of the nice-but-not-the-right-match women whom I dated in my 20s and 30s.
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I know everyone thinks I'm 18, but I'm not. I'm 8 years older than that. I don't know what happened when I signed up. Also, I'm not fully ageist, so I would date anyone that wasn't over 40 like I said. And no, he has to be vegan. I just know myself very well, and I cannot tolerate my date and I going out to eat, and I'm eating a salad while he's eating dead animals. That's gonna bring out the arguing side of me. So to spare everyone having to see a debate in their restuarant, I just ask if my significant other have the same moral principles that I have.
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I apologize for using those words to describe them. It's not my intent to label activists as strange because they weren't necessarily activists. They were just militant people that loved to be vulgar when they argue. Don't get me wrong. I love to argue too, but the way I do my activism is very subtle because there was a time I wasn't vegan. Let me say that yelling and screaming and just cursing at people is not how you convert someone. So no. I don't appreciate militant behavior when it comes to activism. Calling someone a "murdering cow r***st" (yes, I heard someone scream that to a McDonald's worker at a meetup) is not how you get someone to do something nice. I'd much rather give you kisses and bake you a vegan coffee cake in hopes you think it tastes better than a normal cake, and that you'd never wanna taste any other cake ever again. Also, I'm vegan because I'm allergic to dairy, shellfish, pork, and other stuff. So some people might not even call me vegan, but I still choose not to eat any egg, or meat that I'm not allergic to.
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Just hard to find "the one", especially if you're looking for a vegan.
