Veganism in a relationship

[FlyingSideburns]

Hello guys, I met a girl, almost 7 months back whom of course, fell in love with. She was, Vegan of course and that did not turn me off in any sense. In fact, it made me curious, and I thought that she was more unique and in touch with things, which is great and so attractive. Three months into the relationship, I decided to turn Vegan for her. From a huge meat-eater to a completely Vegan person. There was no transition and honestly, I do not regret. I'm in my fifth month now and it feels great.

The problem is that my family isn't vegan, so every time we head out to eat a dinner together, I compromise on my macronutrients and become really unhappy about it. This is because I am a Vegan bodybuilder and I need to hit a certain amount of proteins etc for the day. This would lead to me ranting to my amazing vegan girlfriend and she said that it's honestly okay if I gave up being Vegan for convenience sake.

However, I feel that this is not the way to go and that I want to continue Veganism for her mostly, and myself. This is also to respect her career as a Vet. How can a Vegan Vet, date someone that eats animals that she tries so hard to save? It is just impossible in my head.

Personally, I love this whole Veganism movement and the thinking as well as the mechanics with it all. However, I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Opinions anyone?

 

[Lou]

I just finished telling someone else this. I'm just going to copy and paste the relevant part of the answer.

I also go to the gym. And almost everyone there totally overestimates the amount of protein they need. I think between the livestock industry and the supplement industry - they have most everyone flummoxed. And I think you are also overestimating your protein requirements. There are two different ways to really calculate your protein needs. Maybe the most basic is to get 10 to 30% of your calories from protein. As you exercise more, your calorie needs go up and then your protein intake goes up automatically. If you are trying to change your weight, you can take your goal weight (in pounds) and multiply it by a factor. At the gym, I often hear people state the correct factor is 1, or even higher. But Doctors and dieticians use a much lower factor. For athletes, it's .44. For regular people it's .35 ( ± .02)

Keep in mind that our bodies do a really bad job of storing protein. What protein our bodies can not use gets broken down. the byproducts (mostly nitrogen compounds) are toxic and hard on your liver and kidneys. Recent studies show that much more than 20 g of protein per meal is too much - it can't be absorbed or utilized that fast. So once your protein goes over 120 grams a day - you are probably wasting it.

There are several essays and videos on how to eat vegan when you are out for dinner. but in a nutshell - go Asian. They have tofu dishes. Or go to a Mexican restaurant and get a vegetarian dish and say, "Por favor, mantenga el queso."
Also sometimes its just as easy as asking the waiter. Last week my family took me to a really nice restaurant. They even checked out the menu and found a vegan dish. But when we got there - that dish was on the dinner menu - not the lunch menu. So I just asked - and they made it.

Finally just get a salad and when you get home make yourself a high protein meal.

 

[veganDreama]

Hello and Welcome!

If you aren't getting enough protein when you eat with your family try eating more on your second meal of the day.

 

[FlyingSideburns]

Hi all, thank you for your responses! It's not so much the protein requirements but the dilemma between my family's convenience and preference for omnivore foods (I'm currently living overseas alone and only turned Vegan AFTER I left home so they aren't probably used to this diet change of mine) and my girlfriend's veganism that I want to respect!

 

[veganDreama]

Just explain to your family that you are vegan now and carry on eating vegan food. I wish you luck!

 

[AL2NY]

" I want to continue Veganism for her mostly, and myself. This is also to respect her career as a Vet. How can a Vegan Vet, date someone that eats animals that she tries so hard to save? It is just impossible in my head."

I think you just answered your own question. You became a vegan for her. She is ok if you revert back for you. Both of you are trying to respect and understand the individual choices of the other. That to me is a great relationship. It shows compassion and empathy for fellow humans as much as you do for animals.

If I can't find enough of what I need/want from family gatherings, I just eat what I need/want either before hand (so I won't be too hungry) or afterwards (balancing out what I did manage to find suitable for consumption).

 

[veganDreama]

She is ok if you revert back for you.

But being vegan is better by far.

 

[Forest Nymph]

Lol "compromise on your micronutrients" I can't even be helpful to people like you. It's like talking to some self obsessed hipster.


I can understand people who are vegetarian because of living in Wisconsin or being poor, but when people talk of missing micronutrients in a single meal at family holidays I picture an overweight spoiled brat with dairy sinus issues.

 

[rogerjolly]

Ah come on Forest Nymph. Why don’t you give it to him straight and tell it how it really is?

But seriously, we all surely know that there are occasions when a few gentle words of encouragement or persuasiveness are far more effective for our cause than being abusive. And there are other occasions when the many warriors amongst us should really let their arrows fly.

Roger.