Vegan with non-vegan relationships.

[hay warren]

Hi,
I've been living with my vegetarian boyfriend for about 3 years now, I still eat meat but cook us vegetarian meals. I have no problem with this and enjoy a predominately veggie lifestyle. Last week my boyfriend made the decision to become vegan. He's decided this for ethical reasons (not health) but I don't share his strong views. I'm also annoyed at the restriction he's put on our diets and where we go out to eat, am I being selfish? If he cooked it wouldn't be a problem. I do 99% of the cooking as I enjoy it, I'm home earlier and he is awful in the kitchen! I'm stuck because I don't want to cook vegan all the time. Any advice or is our relationship doomed??

 

[ledboots]

The boy needs to learn to cook; it isn't hard.

 

[mlp]

I agree with ledboots.

 

[Alice-Bee]

Hi!
Welcome to the forum. Please note that this forum is techincally for those who want to eventually become veggie or vegan, but some advice for starters.
I myself am almost Vegan, my boyfriend who I live with is a meat eater. I refuse to cook meat so he does any meat cooking, but is more than happy to eat my vegan offerings.
Perhaps its time to get him to help out if only a little. Sit down and make a list of foods and meals you both will/can eat and start there.
Forexample...Pasta dishes. I make a vegan sauce with veggies/pulses etc then split it and if my bf wants he adds meat/cheese. So youre really only making one meal rather than two completely different ones.
Its easy to get dragged in to thinking I cant eat here....I wont go there...but the thing to try and do is come to an agreement...Agree places you are both comfortable going.Look at menus online and see if you can find a mix of meat and vegan options.
I personally dont think you are being selfish, perhaps its just a case of new vegan fever, once he realises what is out there and how easy veganism can be he may become more relaxed about where to eat. etc.

 

[SummerRain]

I don't think you're selfish, your boyfriend wants to be vegan and that's great, but he needs to take responsibility for himself too! Since he is making the change, I think it's only fair that he thinks of ways it will work within your relationship. For example, by taking on a bigger share of the cooking, or by sometimes eating something simple (like a baked potato) if you want to cook something not-vegan so that you don't cook two meals.

However I do have lots of ideas for living as a vegan-omni couple, as I am the vegan half of one myself! We mostly eat vegan food, but sometimes we make separate meals too and that works great for us. We also sometimes do what Alice-Bee suggested and make a sauce and split it between his meat and my vegetables, and sometimes he adds cheese to a vegan meal I've made.

Also, if there's a non vegan meal my bf really likes, he'll make up several portions and freeze them (when he is making it anyway for dinner) and then he can just pop one in the freezer and I'll make myself something easy (or do the same thing). This works great for things like lasagna which require quite a bit of effort for making for one person, and freeze well (vegetable ones do, not sure how meat would go, asking the wrong gal!).

As for eating out, I'm not going to lie, sometimes it's a pain. However there are lots of options, depending on where you live. Where I live there are lots of places that serve (labelled) vegan options as well as non-vegetarian food, so we can both eat very happily. There are lots of chains like this too, such wagamamas and las iguanas. Places that serve asian food are often vegan-friendly by chance, because they don't usually rely on dairy products. Plus, sometimes I've managed to talk to chefs to ask them to prepare something vegan for me if my bf really wants to eat somewhere, and sometimes he just eats vegetarian food at vegetarian restaurants if that's what I fancy. Relationships involve compromise both ways: I'm happy to just eat a salad if my bf wants to eat somewhere, and he's happy to eat something vegetarian/vegan if I really want to eat somewhere.

But my main piece of advice is: get him to find this stuff out! It's great if you both want to look into it together, but since he is making the change, he needs to take some responsibility for making things easier for the both of you.

 

[RabbitLuvr]

My husband eats meat, I don't. When we go out to eat, it's to one of a few restaurants that can offer both of us delicious meals. There are some places he would like to eat that we never go to because there is little to nothing vegan. I'd just be sitting there miserable, and that's no fun for either of us.

He goes to those restaurants on his own (if he goes to lunch, or takes a day off), or with his buddies.

 

[hay warren]

Oh sorry I wasn't sure where to post! Thanks for the advice!

 

[Alice-Bee]

Dont worry about it.
Youre asking advice for a vegan so its kind of the same as if he was asking himself.
We're happy to help with any advice we can

 

[hay warren]

Really great advice! Thank you so much, I'm going show my boyfriend this site when he gets back from work and hopefully we can find some recipes to try!

 

[Alice-Bee]

Excellent...theres some really great inspiration and recipes. Dont forget to check out the product thread relivent to your Country for vegan items and places to eat

 

[thefadedone]

Hi,
I've been living with my vegetarian boyfriend for about 3 years now, I still eat meat but cook us vegetarian meals. I have no problem with this and enjoy a predominately veggie lifestyle. Last week my boyfriend made the decision to become vegan. He's decided this for ethical reasons (not health) but I don't share his strong views. I'm also annoyed at the restriction he's put on our diets and where we go out to eat, am I being selfish? If he cooked it wouldn't be a problem. I do 99% of the cooking as I enjoy it, I'm home earlier and he is awful in the kitchen! I'm stuck because I don't want to cook vegan all the time. Any advice or is our relationship doomed??

He might want to check out www.theveganstoner.com for some fast fool proof recipes.