Vegan sister is upset that i became vegan

Amanda Margaret

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hello everyone,

I'm a newbie vegan who became fully vegan about 2 months ago. I was a vegetarian for about a year and finally made the switch because I dislike dairy and the industry, so I just cut every animal product out.

Now that the introduction is done, here's my problem:

My little sister has been vegan for 2 years and she said she would be so excited when I went fully vegan. I finally went fully vegan and she was excited the first week, but now she's always giving me a "vegan police" attitude and it's really turning me off. She watches everything I eat to make sure I'm a good little vegan, she gives me dirty looks for assuming some things are vegan (I'm sorry I had no clue sprinkles aren't vegan), and she gets angry when I talk to her about veganism. She acts like it's HER thing and I'm stealing it from her in some way, but I thought she would be excited that I am finding cool vegan recipes and vegan events to go to... she just gets angry and judgemental. Whenever I tell her about some processed vegan product (which I know isn't healthy but I only eat them sometimes) she gets angry and basically shames me for even mentioning it. She's got this "that's disgusting and unhealthy, you're an unhealthy vegan which means you're not a real vegan" attitude. She's got an elitist, vegan police attitude and I don't know what to do.

She says I'm annoying because I talk to her about veganism when she said she "knows everything" about veganism, so now I'm just a pest for ever mentioning with excitement that something is vegan. And she brought up how I used to make fun of her for being vegan 2 years ago when she first became vegan so she's mad that I'm vegan now because I made fun of her? Granted, I only made fun of her like twice in the beginning because I didn't understand veganism, but now I do and I've transitioned so why is she bringing up the past? Also, she keeps bringing up how I'm basically a fake vegan because I said 4 months ago that if I ever went vegan I would still eat honey products, but I've given up honey products when I went vegan and have gone back on that statement. She keeps bringing up from the past and I don't know what to do.

I thought becoming vegan would help our relationship as well, but it's only made it worse and I'm not sure what to do because she's hostile towards me now that I'm vegan as well but I'm not changing back. How do I improve the relationship? Should I tell her I'm not vegan anymore even tho I am? Just to get her off my back?


Also I'm sorry if vegan police offends anyone... not my intention... I just don't know another way to describe her hostile behavior
 
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ellenhanne

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Sorry to hear you're having a difficult time with your sister.

I don't think telling her you are no longer vegan is the best for you - this is YOUR choice and you shouldn't feel the need to hide it. Your vegan lifestyle is a part of you. No one should judge others for making a fantastic choice for themselves.

You are not 'stealing' her lifestyle from her. Remember that part of this is wanting more people to join veganism to reduce demand for cruelty products!

She has been doing this for a lot longer than you and therefore knows more about it, but she shouldn't be attacking you for every mistake you make. I've been vegan for 2 years and, though I am a lot better now, I've still made mistakes. She should be supporting you, rather than getting annoyed at you for being passionate about such a great achievement. However, because she isn't the only vegan in the household anymore, perhaps she is feeling a little jealous? (As you mentioned).

Maybe try explaining to her that it takes a while to transition into a different lifestyle. She should know this - I'm sure she hasn't always been perfect either!

Hopefully, when veganism becomes just a part of your life (as it will do soon), your sister will become more accepting.

I hope this doesn't bother you for too much longer!
 

Jamie in Chile

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If your description is fair and accurate and leaves nothing out then I think she is behaving rather badly. Some time will eventually fix this. Stand your grand on processed foods and any criticism of things with tiny amounts of animal products in. You are doing the right thing. Give things some time and try and ask her politely to calm it down a bit but ultimately you may have to stand up to her. Eventually, things will (probably) settle down into an understanding over time. Good luck.