Unsupportive friends

Atheris

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So in general my friends quietly accepted that I have gone vegan. They were suspiciously quiet in fact. No questions of why and (as I dont want to be seen as pushy) I don't bring it up unless I have to.

They're all massive meat eaters and have teased me a lot over the years for being vegetarian. When I went to an omni diet for the first time they were awash with praise and relief.

Anyway, last night we had a get together with a big spread - home made pasta with salads, meat dishes etc. It was great! The pasta was so good I asked for the recipe and my friend hesitated then got very weird about it. Eventually he showed me the page and it was made with a lot of butter. A huge amount.

I tried not to be a dick about it given the group situation but I was pretty upset. Later in the evening he said he used vegetable oil not butter but it wasn't convincing at all and seemed like he was saying it because he knew I was upset.

How do people manage with these situations with friends and family? I dont know if it's dramatic but I left feeling like the friendship was nearing its end..
 
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amberfunk

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They should respect your wishes however they are not obliged to make food for you at their gatherings. Sorry to say but it's true. It wasn't right thought that they told you that it was made with one thing then after you eat it said that it was another. I would have been very upset at that as well. I would have a nice calm conversation with them that this is your choice and that you would like them to respect that.
 

Jamie in Chile

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Regarding your comment about the friendship nearing its end, I suggest you just chill on that statement for a few days and then see whether or not you feel the same way. I suggest you offer to bring food yourself next time to as not to inconvenience them. Remember, they think you are the awkward one (even though this is unfair). I hope it works out.