Unconditional Love

[veganchick]

Is there really such a thing as unconditional Love? I do not believe so but many do believe that one should love others regardless of what they do. This is especially so if it is a family member or child and there are those who claim God's Love is unconditional too. Can one really know and still love rapists murders ect? Would you love a family member no matter what?

 

[Envy]

No.

 

[KLS52]

I think you can continue to love someone even if you are disappointed or even appalled by something they've done. Loving them, feeling love, doesn't mean you have to agree or condone if their behavior is bad.

I can't imagine the love I feel for my children ever going away. Obviously the relationship would change drastically if they were to commit some heinous crime, particularly if it were done against me. I think the "love" would always be there deep down.

It may be a case of me not really knowing because it's so unlikely and I can't imagine it ever happening.

 

[Moll Flanders]

I don't think I love anyone unconditionally, I love my brother and my husband but if either of them did something really terrible I don't think I would love them in the same way.

 

[beancounter]

There is no such thing as unconditional love. However, it's common to give those important to you more leeway when they do something wrong.

 

[Mr Crunchy]

Not between humans.

 

[Mischief]

Not between humans.

I was thinking this too. I think that my love for my nonhuman family members is as close to unconditional as it's possible for a human to get, and I know theirs for me is as close to unconditional as it's possible for anyone to get.

 

[ledboots]

I think you can continue to love someone even if you are disappointed or even appalled by something they've done. Loving them, feeling love, doesn't mean you have to agree or condone if their behavior is bad.

I can't imagine the love I feel for my children ever going away. Obviously the relationship would change drastically if they were to commit some heinous crime, particularly if it were done against me. I think the "love" would always be there deep down.

It may be a case of me not really knowing because it's so unlikely and I can't imagine it ever happening.

This.

 

[Everleigh]

It would be nice to think there was.

 

[thefadedone]

I think you can continue to love someone even if you are disappointed or even appalled by something they've done. Loving them, feeling love, doesn't mean you have to agree or condone if their behavior is bad.

I can't imagine the love I feel for my children ever going away. Obviously the relationship would change drastically if they were to commit some heinous crime, particularly if it were done against me. I think the "love" would always be there deep down.

It may be a case of me not really knowing because it's so unlikely and I can't imagine it ever happening.

I agree with this also. I don't think I would completely lose the love I had for that person, but I know my heart would shatter in a million pieces .

 

[Clueless Git]

Is there really such a thing as unconditional Love?

The opposite of unconditional love would be conditional love.

Opinions may vary but I would say love with conditions isn't really love in the first place.

 

[Clueless Git]

Does anyone think that the opposite of love is hate, btw?

 

[shyvas]

I was thinking this too. I think that my love for my nonhuman family members is as close to unconditional as it's possible for a human to get, and I know theirs for me is as close to unconditional as it's possible for anyone to get.

This.

 

[Ann Chovie]

Does anyone think that the opposite of love is hate, btw?

I think the opposite is indifference.

Hating someone means that their actions are still able to illicit emotions from you , even if negative.

Indifference means that their actions have absoultely no impact on you at all and their existence is completely irrelevant to you.

Indifference means an investment of no emotion at all.

 

[Clueless Git]

I think the opposite is indifference.

Hating someone means that their actions are still able to illicit emotions from you , even if negative.

Indifference means that their actions have absoultely no impact on you at all and their existence is completely irrelevant to you.

Indifference means an investment of no emotion at all.

Exactly so.

The book I first saw that in made a good explanation of how you can't feel hate for things for which you have no love and vice versa.

I think that's one of the reasons that people react hatefully when they see things they hate about themselves mirrored and magnified in other people.

Omni's who hate animal abusers (their own guilty vice, mirrored and magnified) would be one very good example.

Triggers the love-hate conflict they have with themselves and self hate seeks out targets that resemble self, but are other than self, like a heat seeking missile on steroids.

Quite worringly violently hatefull reaction to rapists, pedophiles, sexists, racists, homophobes, etc .. may all be part of the same 'the things I hate the most are the things I hate about myself' syndrome.

 

[Clueless Git]

A nicely written article on unconditional love from a buddhist perspective ..

The definition of love in Buddhism is: wanting others to be happy.
This love is unconditional and it requires a lot of courage and acceptance (including self-acceptance).
The "near enemy" of love, or a quality which appears similar, but is more an opposite is: conditional love (selfish love, see also the page on attachment).
The opposite is wanting others to be unhappy: anger, hatred.
A result which one needs to avoid is: attachment.

This definition means that 'love' in Buddhism refers to something quite different from the ordinary term of love which is usually about attachment, more or less successful relationships and sex; all of which are rarely without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to de-tachment and the unselfish interest in others' welfare.

'Even offering three hundred bowls of food three times a day does not match the spiritual merit gained in one moment of love.'
Nagarjuna

"If there is love, there is hope that one may have real families, real brotherhood, real equanimity, real peace. If the love within your mind is lost and you see other beings as enemies, then no matter how much knowledge or education or material comfort you have, only suffering and confusion will ensue"
His Holiness the Dalai Lama from 'The little book of Buddhism'

Attachment and love are similar in that both of them draw us to the other person. But in fact, these two emotions are quite different. When we’re attached we’re drawn to someone because he or she meets our needs. In addition, there are lots of strings attached to our affection that we may or may not realize are there. For example, I “love” you because you make me feel good. I “love” you as long as you do things that I approve of. I “love” you because you’re mine. You’re my spouse or my child or my parent or my friend. With attachment, we go up and down like a yo-yo, depending on how the other person treats us. We obsess, “What do they think of me? Do they love me? Have I offended them? How can I become what they want me to be so that they love me even more?” It’s not very peaceful, is it? We’re definitely stirred up.
On the other hand, the love we’re generating on the Dharma path is unconditional. We simply want other to have happiness and the causes of happiness without any strings attached, without any expectations of what these people will do for us or how good they’ll make us feel.

http://www.viewonbuddhism.org/immeasurables_love_compassion_equanimity_rejoicing.html

 

[Blobbenstein]

maybe rather than(or as well as) detachment, one could try being honest, to one's self, about one's attachments?

 

[Clueless Git]

maybe rather than(or as well as) detachment, one could try being honest, to one's self, about one's attachments?

This Mr Blobby has great wisdom.

This Mr Blobby, not so much so ...

 

[SummerRain]

I think it does, in that, sometimes you hear of parents of children who've committed terrible crimes that still love their children, even when they're horrified by what they've done. I think that must be as close to unconditional as I can imagine. Whether I feel like that about the people I love... I hope I'm never in a situation to find out. I truly don't know.

I think maybe for some instances, you love them unconditionally, because you don't hold them up to moral standards. There's nothing that my rabbit could do to make me stop loving him, because there's nothing he could do that I'd hold him accountable for morally... whereas a friend could appall me, and commit actions that would make me stop loving them. I think the same applies to young children, and adults who aren't accountable for their actions too perhaps.

 

[Moll Flanders]

This discussion was making me think whether I have anyone who loves me unconditionally and the being that comes the closest would be my dog Molly. She is obsessed with me as I have had her since she was a tiny puppy and I have spent almost every minute with her.

I'm not sure my other dog feels as strongly about me and my cats probably wouldn't even notice if I wasn't around as long as they were warm and fed.