The art of small-talk

[Second Summer]

I just watched this video which compares small-talk to the painting art (clouds) of John Constable and Paul Cezanne (apples)! I thought it was relatively insightful.

(Source: The School of Life, 5:50min)

How do you feel about small-talk? Is it something you enjoy? Are you good at it? Do you fear it?

 

[beancounter]

It's chilly this time of year in New England.

 

[KLS52]

I hate it. I suck at it. I avoid it at all cost.
Unless the other person is super friendly/talkative. I’m perfectly happy talking about animals.

 

[Second Summer]

I'm not very good myself, but people at work seem to enjoy it, so I try to play along.

Initiating small-talk is definitely not something I do well, or enjoy. It really is a skill, though, and I hope I can get better at it, somehow.

 

[shyvas]

I hate it. I suck at it. I avoid it at all cost.
Unless the other person is super friendly/talkative. I’m perfectly happy talking about animals.

I avoid it on planes. If not, I don't see how one can avoid it at social events, as that is what is expected of people.

I wonder what hairdressers would have to say about small talk ?

 

[KLS52]

Haha...I just got my haircut Thursday evening after work and had to participate in the chatter.

Hairdresser: Hi, how are you...what did you do for thanksgiving...did you cook...what did you make...how are your children/grandchildren...did Sabrina find a house yet...blah blah blah.

It’s worse for the hairdresser because I’m perfectly happy being quiet and she’s the one who has to initiate conversation and come up with topics lol. Plus, when she gets to where she’s blow drying my hair, we shouldn’t need to try and talk over the noise of the blow dryer. It’s like being at the dentist, where he has his hands in your mouth and then asks you a question and expects you to answer. And I was at the eye doctor last week with my chin in that contraption and the doctor proceeds to start asking me questions while he’s in my face checking for glaucoma. You try talking with your chin with your chin pressed down into that thing.

Geez Louise people. Can we just be quiet for five minutes!

 

[KLS52]

It’s really funny because, depending on the situation, you can’t get me to shut up. And I like talking about deep, meaningful things...people and their feelings...animals and veganism...but nothing that is going to open up a debate. I’m not going to argue with anyone...unless it’s a situation where someone is genuinely interested in another point of view. It’s a waste of time.

 

[KLS52]

I want a do-over of the Boston meet up with IS, Jen, Brandon, Amy, Skylark, etc. I was horrendous during that. I think I could do much better now because I’m older, crankier, and more vocal/sarcastic.

 

[shyvas]

It’s really funny because, depending on the situation, you can’t get me to shut up. And I like talking about deep, meaningful things...people and their feelings...animals and veganism...but nothing that is going to open up a debate. I’m not going to argue with anyone...unless it’s a situation where someone is genuinely interested in another point of view. It’s a waste of time.

I've also noticed that.

 

[Katrina]

I dislike small talk. I go along with it to help the other person feel comfortable. On rare occasions, I may initiate it... mostly if I've just met a new group of people (like at a Meetup group) and nobody is really talking. In that case, I will get the conversation going, just to get rid of that uncomfortable silence. And then they get to talking to each other and I just sit back and go back to being quiet. haha.

 

[Amy SF]

I want a do-over of the Boston meet up with IS, Jen, Brandon, Amy, Skylark, etc. I was horrendous during that. I think I could do much better now because I’m older, crankier, and more vocal/sarcastic.

You drove from New York to Brookline to meet us. I’d say that was pretty brave. But I’d love another meetup. I have to depend completely on public transportation now, but in Boston we walked and took the train everywhere anyway.

 

[PTree15]

I don't mind small talk if it is halfway interesting. I would say I am good at it. As a reporter back in the day, I had to employ small talk often, especially if the topic of the interview was a difficult one. That said, I keep my mouth shut on a plane because I would just rather read, listen to music or watch a movie on my iPad. I like that uninterrupted time to do something enjoyable.

 

[Amy SF]

I can’t do small talk. Mindless chatter bores me.

 

[Mischief]

A lot of what we do on VV is actually "small talk." It serves a useful function, namely building bridges between people, allowing us to see our shared humanity.

 

[KLS52]

Maybe I’m misunderstanding what small talk is. I think of it as being thrown into an uncomfortable situation with someone I don’t know that well or at all and having to make small pleasantries. I guess it depends on the subject and how nervous I am. If it starts out with “nice weather we’re having” and depending on the season, I could easily begin blurting out “well that depends...I actually love Winter...and snow (blizzards)”, etc. and scare the person to death. Lol. I think if that as small talk. And now I have to go and google to see what the internet has to say about it.

 

[KLS52]

Or...I could have just watched the video that IS posted, to begin with, hahahahaha.

 

[VegFred]

I’m not good at small talk, I enjoy it just a little bit and I don’t know how to create it. After watching the video I think I’m starting to have a new look or thought at small talk. It’s more like how a deeper conversation starts. Thanks for sharing .